


You're My Weak Spot

by padaleckifantrash, wincestismyguiltypleasure1967



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Mob, Angst, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Italian Mafia, M/M, Minor Character Death, Mpreg, Non-Graphic Rape/Non-Con, Pining, Stanford!AU, mob boss!jensen, student!Jared
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-22
Updated: 2016-04-17
Packaged: 2018-05-22 13:32:38
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 19
Words: 42,386
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6081252
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/padaleckifantrash/pseuds/padaleckifantrash, https://archiveofourown.org/users/wincestismyguiltypleasure1967/pseuds/wincestismyguiltypleasure1967
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jensen leads a double life as a student at Stanford and the heir to the Ackles Mafia throne. Jared is just a shy Texan kid with a scholarship to the school. When freshman Jared is placed into senior Jensen's dorm room, the two opposite worlds collide and the battle of secrets begins.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Jensen stared at his textbook, rereading the same page he had been reading for the past ten minutes. He couldn’t get his mind off of what was going to happen today. Some annoying shit of a freshman was supposed to take Dylan’s old bunk and Jensen didn’t know if he was ready for that. A million different scenarios were running through his mind; a whiny brat who would cry the first night away from home, a kid who went through Jensen’s stuff, one who thought he was going to be the kid’s mentor… Jensen was already annoyed and he didn’t even have the name of his new roommate.

Jared was walking through the dorm hallway, suitcase clutched in one hand and backpack in the other. The waiting list for dorms had been ridiculously long but they had asked the freshmen if they would like to stay in the senior dorm and he was the first to say yes. He figured no one else would want to be with entirely different people. Most of them probably knew someone they went to school with. Jared moved from San Antonio to Stanford on a full ride scholarship, so he knew no one. He was alone. Completely alone.

Jared stopped in front of the dorm, staring at the daunting number. 217. He bit at his lip, hesitating before opening the door. 

“Um…” Jared mumbled, walking in and shutting the door behind him. “I’m Jared, I guess I’m gonna be your new roommate.” The younger male looked around nervously before moving to sit on the small bed across from his new roommate’s. Looking around, he saw that his roommate’s side of the room was impeccably clean. No posters adorned the walls like he thought there would be, bed made, papers and folders stacked neatly on the wooden desk pushed up against the wall. The walls were a deep red and the carpet was a faded cream. It was a cozy room. Both had closets, dressers, and small bookshelves. A door leading to what Jared expected was the bathroom sat on the far right of the other man’s side of the room; it was probably small. Only enough space for two people. There was only one window in the small room and it spilled in nice, golden light across the floor.

The other man pinched the bridge of his nose in annoyance before turning to face the kid. He… Was not what Jensen was expecting. He was taller than most freshman, but still held that innocent air about him. He scanned Jared’s body, stopping when he locked eyes with the kid. 

“Jensen,” he replied stiffly, “your closet is empty. Stay out of my stuff and we won’t have a problem.” He turned back to his book and shut it in frustration, knowing he wouldn’t get any more reading done.

The freshman’s cheeks flushed when he felt the overwhelmingly attractive man’s eyes on him.

“I won’t... I have no reason to,” Jared said, biting his lip, a bad habit he had picked up since the middle of sophomore year. Jared eyed the book his new roommate–Jensen–seemed frustrated with. “If you ever need any help, I’m pretty good with that,” Jared spoke after a minute, nodding his head toward the finite math textbook before beginning to unpack his things.

Jensen watched him for a few more seconds before shoving the book in his bag.

"Don’t need help, thanks.” Jared didn’t reply, just nodded even though he knew Jensen probably didn’t look. The older male tapped a pen on his desk, trying to figure out what to do. He wasn’t sure if he wanted to talk to Jared and try to be civil or just ignore him in favor of doing something else. “So, what are you planning on studying?” Being a decent roommate won. It was a simple question and it didn’t make Jensen look like a total ass.

The younger male began digging through his suitcase, pulling out his clothes to fold them and put them neatly into the drawer on his side of the room. He tensed when he heard the older man speak, not expecting it. Right away, he had thought Jensen had hated him or something… He hadn’t come up with a decent reason as to why he would besides that he was a stupid freshman.

He finished tucking the rest of his clothes back in before replying, “I’m majoring in law. What about you?” Jared pushed his suitcase to the side and sat back on his own bed, smoothing his hand over the white sheet nervously.

Jensen couldn’t help the smirk that crossed his lips.

“Same here.” But it was for a different reason than Jared. It was a requirement that his dad made for him. Jensen had to have knowledge of the law so he knew exactly how to skirt around it while running the family business. It was an annoyingly smart strategy to have. “You straight outta high school?” He turned to look at Jared now, figuring he might as well try not to scare the kid. The boy already looked anxious enough.

Jared was thoroughly impressed; his original assumption was Jensen was there on some kind of sports scholarship; he was fit and his muscles flexed under his shirt. He was godly. Jared was a lanky kid and still growing into his body. They were complete opposites. Jensen with his big muscles, green eyes, short, sandy blonde hair, freckles, and soft, creamy skin tone and Jared with his eyes that wouldn't decide on a color, long chestnut hair, tan complexion, long-limbed body, and white patches of skin scattered throughout. Complete physical opposites.

“Yeah,” Jared laughed quietly, looking up to meet his roommate’s eyes. God, his emerald eyes sent butterflies throughout his stomach. “I got a scholarship here,” the freshman added, running a hand through his shaggy brown hair. “Do you work?” he asked, not ever wanting the senior to stop talking.

Jensen shrugged, not really counting training under his father as working.

"Family wants me to focus on school.” He raised an eyebrow at Jared, not missing how silky Jared’s hair looked. “You must be pretty smart to get a full ride here,” he commented.

Jared smiled small, his dimples barely showing and nodded at the statement about family.

“Same for me, with the whole focusing on school thing. All my parents--well, mainly my dad--cared about were my grades, totally strict about it… And honestly, I’m glad to be out of the house. It’s a nice change,” Jared replied, playing with the black rubber bracelet around his wrist. He sat up, slightly wide-eyed, a rose hue rising up around his neck and ears. “I don’t know why I told you that.” Jared was never very open, especially with strangers. “And… I’m not that smart,” he murmured, his smile growing across his face again. The compliment stirred a nice warmth throughout his body. “What’s there to do around here?”

Jensen let his smirk show to the kid.

"Hey, can’t blame ya’. It’s easy to pour secrets to me.” He played with the pen in his hand, twiddling it between his fingers as he stared at Jared. “Not much besides study and party. There are some clubs but… Other than that you gotta have a car to drive into town,” he explained slowly, letting his words drawl at the end. Jensen was trained to read people’s body language, and damn it was amusing to watch Jared squirm.

The boy’s breath caught slightly in his throat, the pink never leaving his face. His voice was like honey and so sweet to Jared’s ears. He was unknowingly leaning forward, so intent on listening to whatever Jensen was saying.

“Y-Yeah? It’s a Friday… Can you sh-show me around? Maybe we can go t-to one of those clubs?” Jared mentally stabbed himself from how shy he got whenever he was in the company of flirtatious, cute guys. Although… That really hadn’t happened after the middle of his sophomore year of high school. “I would really appreciate it,” he whispered.

Jensen chuckled and leaned back in his seat, licking his lips and flashing a toothy grin.

“There’s a big event in the quad. It’s where all the clubs meet to sign up new members. I personally haven’t joined any, they aren’t my style.” The tint on Jared’s face was amusing and he wanted to see more of it. “I like different kinds of clubs. More… Mature ones,” he elucidated, his voice light and playful.

Jared was completely lost in Jensen’s voice and eyes. He was mesmerizing. The older male’s last words made Jared’s stomach flip-flop happily and he looked down, bangs falling in front of his eyes. This man across the room seemed so experienced with everything… With life in general.

“I-I… I’ve never been to one of those,” Jared admitted, a shy smile plastered onto his pink lips. “I probably wouldn’t even be able to get into one seeing as I’m only 18,” he added, biting at his lower lip once again.

Jensen’s eyes narrowed in on Jared’s lower lip and imagined nibbling at it with his own teeth. Then, he remembered the kid was only 18 and Jensen couldn’t get distracted, and he especially couldn’t get romantically involved with anyone. Relationships can weaken a person and Jensen couldn’t afford to be weakened. 

“You don’t seem like the type anyway,” he shrugged and looked away, his flirtatious air diminishing and going cold. “Anyway, you should go check out the main quad. Sign up for some activities or something."

Jared leaned back, his eyebrows furrowing and his smile completely vanishing. He swallowed hard and looked down. Stupid. He was so stupid for thinking Jensen could’ve been flirting with him. 

“Yeah,” he agreed softly, “I’ll go do that.” Jared got up, body exuding his emotions as much as he tried willing it not to. He stopped at the door, fingers rubbing lightly at the faded wood before shaking his head, mainly at his own foolishness. “S-See ya’, Jensen,” Jared mumbled before closing the door softly. His first day was going perfectly. Just fuckin’ perfect.

Jensen stared at the door and groaned at what he was about to do. He shot up, grabbed his keys and wallet, and walked out to follow Jared. He couldn’t just let the kid leave after looking like a kicked puppy. 

“Hey!” he called after him, walking with an air of power around him that came from years of conditioning.

Jared’s shoulders tensed and he jumped at the voice, afraid of the embarrassment. He was probably going to laugh in his face about how gay he was and how stupid he was because he fell for the flirting. 

“Y-Yeah?” he said, voice wavering. He didn’t want to go through this again. Jensen didn’t know it, but Jared was badly bullied for being gay in his high school and that was another reason why he left so quick after he had graduated.

Jensen sighed and put his hand on Jared’s shoulder.

“I’ll go with you. Don’t want my new roommate to get lost on campus.” He offered a smile, secretly wanting to see the happier side of Jared again. Jensen told himself that it was just because he didn’t want to be stuck with a mopey roommate, and he was sticking with that excuse.

Jared twitched at the contact and his honey-emerald eyes glancing to the broad hand resting warmly on his shoulder. The warmth was comforting and he sighed shakily. Maybe he wasn’t being fooled, but Jared kept himself guarded as he looked back up to meet those intense eyes. 

“Thank you,” the younger male said, trying to will away every emotion he had and smiled. There was so much behind it. Fear, actual happiness, and insecurity. He just wished Jensen couldn’t sense two of them.

Jensen squeezed Jared’s shoulder and then dropped his hand. He decided not to comment on what he saw in Jared’s facial features. He felt… Protective of the kid. And that was either a good thing or a really, really bad thing. He hoped this didn’t backfire like it did with Dylan.

“No problem.” He started walking side by side with Jared, shoving his hands into his jean pockets. “So? Tell me about yourself. I know your family isn’t fun and you like to hit the books but what about other things? Got any club interests?”

Jared was so utterly confused. He didn’t know why Jensen was pulling him in again and he hoped he wasn’t going to get hazed. 

“Well, I, uh, I like soccer a lot. I used to play it in high school until, um…” he trailed off, not wanting to return to that day. “I also really love, like, actual reading, not just textbooks and stuff,” he added, a spark of interest flaring up in his eyes. “I only brought my favorites to school. The rest I had to keep at home.” Jared was, again, opening up to Jensen instead of keeping himself and his interests inwards and well defended. “What about you?” Jared asked, truly wanting to know. He wanted to know everything about his new roommate from where he grew up, to what he liked to do for fun, to what those strong hands could to do him… Jared began blushing profusely at his own thoughts, looking straight ahead as they walked toward the quad.

Jensen raised an eyebrow but decided not to prod at the soccer comment. He figured it was better that they had their respective secrets. It wasn’t like he’d want Jared to pry into his life. He smirked at the boy, remembering how many books he saw in Jared’s bag. 

“If you only brought your favorites, I’d be scared to see your actual book collection,” he teased. “I played football in high school, stopped when I came here because I’m working towards law, not a sports career.” He thought for a moment, choosing his next words carefully. “Now, I mostly study and help my family out when I’m needed. When I’m not doing that… Well, I told you about the clubs,” he said and winked playfully. Jensen spent his free time in bars and clubs, either making connections for his family or just trying to unwind from the day’s stress. Jared didn’t need to know about that, though.

Jared smiled undeniably, dimples now out in full-force. It was like Jensen tore away at every barrier he had ever put up without any effort at all. The freshman listened to his new–friend?–roommate and chuckled quietly at the club comment.

"Where does your family live at? Close by? Mine are back in Texas.” He and Jensen were approaching the quad and his eyes widened. There were a lot of people and it wasn’t at all like his home town. A plethora of tents were set up and Jared stopped, unknowing of where to go first and was hoping Jensen would take the lead.

Jensen avoided Jared’s question about his family, not wanting to talk too much about them and eyed the wide spread of club booths. 

“There’s a book club. Some academic clubs.” He pointed out said booths, not sure what Jared was interested in besides books and being an, albeit cute, nerd. “Chess club, robotics. Like I said, I’m not in any of these things so I’m not too much of an expert,” he said as he kept Jared out of the mass of people that were trying to sign up for various clubs. “If you see something you like, tell me.”

Jared’s body was sticking closer to Jensen’s than he would have liked but right now, Jensen was keeping him grounded. He had never been good in crowds; he would immediately leave after a soccer game so he wouldn’t be caught up in the hustle and bustle of parents and friends meeting the teammates. His interest piqued at the book club and he looked toward that booth. A pale girl with bouncy red curls and a young man with short, dirty blonde hair occupied it, handing out the occasional flyer or saying hello. 

“I-I think the book club seems nice…” Jared said, taking deep breaths like his old best friend used to tell him to do. “I… I know this is a lot to ask, but, can you sign up for book club with me, Jensen? You don’t have to stay in it, I j-just would like a familiar face there for the start.” Jared knew at this point he was getting himself in way too deep. Jensen could have his buddies pop out at any minute and begin laughing, saying how pathetic he was. Jared shrunk back into himself but closer to Jensen on some inner instinct. He felt protected and watched-over when he was with Jensen and even if he shouldn’t feel that way, he had to soak it up while he could.

Jensen looked down at Jared and wrapped his arm around the kid’s shoulders.

“Sure. Come on.” Jensen pulled him closer to his body and weaved through the crowd, keeping a hold of Jared on the way through. He couldn’t believe he came to the club gatherings and he especially couldn’t believe he was helping his new roommate, a freshman, sign up for a club. But then again, the kid somehow managed to find Jensen’s soft spot and he wasn’t sure if that was a good thing or a bad thing. 

Jared immediately melted into the warm body next to his and kept close as they walked towards the booth. Butterflies whirled throughout his stomach and he dared a peek up at his new friend through his bangs. The sun shone on his face, freckles dusting lightly across it.

 _> He’s so gorgeous…_ Jared thought. They arrived at the booth and the outgoing redhead smiled and reached out to hand them a flyer. 

“You boys lookin’ to join the most badass reading club?” she asked, a big smile gleaming. Jared took hold of the flyer and studied it. The girl was Felicia and the guy was Jake. 

“Yeah–Felicia, can we? How… How do we sign up?”

Jensen looked at Jake and nodded a greeting. Jake gave a half nod back and looked to Jared, more comfortable looking at the kid than Jensen.

“You just gotta sign your names here and give us some kind of email so we can reach you. We hold a meeting every week on Thursdays.” She held out a clipboard for Jensen to take, looking back at Jensen and wondering why he was showing the kid around. He wasn’t exactly known to be friendly, and there hadn’t been any gossip suggesting that Jensen had a new interest. 

Jensen looked down at the clipboard and grimaced.

 _How did I get myself into this mess?_ he thought to himself as he grabbed the board, scribbling down his name and student email.

Jared nodded at Felicia’s words, knowing that it would fit well into his schedule. He took the clipboard from Jensen and wrote down his own name and email and handed it back. 

“Let’s get going?” Jared asked, eyes pleading. As they began walking back, he looked at the flyer more closely. “They’re reading The Color Purple and Fallen for their chosen books but it says we can choose our own and talk about it to the club every Thursday,” Jared read, flipping the pamphlet over. 

Once they got back to their shared dorm, he let out a huge sigh and flopped down onto his bed.

"I don’t want to deal with more people today. Do I have to?” the boy mumbled, rolling over onto his stomach and squirming until he got comfortable on the bed, head turning on the pillow to look at Jensen.

Jensen locked the door and rolled his eyes, casting a slight smile at Jared.

“I’m not going to force you to go out.” He sat on his bed, not taking his eyes off of Jared for a second. “You don’t like people much, do you?” he finally asked. The older male watched Jared’s facial expressions carefully, eyes tracing over Jared’s boyish face that was beginning to show faint signs of definition. The boy’s eyes were innocent and warm like honey; it made something light up inside of him. Jared just looked so… Vulnerable.

Jared grunted out a response, an obvious no.

“I’ve had too many bad experiences to enjoy the company,” he replied, eyes wandering over the man in the room with him. He wished Jensen would lay down with him. His close presence was a cherished feeling and now that his warmth was gone from his side, Jared felt weird, like part of him was missing. Jared slung a long slender arm off of his bed to idly scratch at the carpet, purple collared shirt riding up slightly from the stretch he was making with his arm. “Have you lived in this dorm your entire time here?”

Jensen eyed the small sliver of tanned skin that was exposed on Jared’s body and licked his lips. His position looked so innocent yet Jensen wanted to run his hands over Jared’s sides.

“Yeah I have,” Jensen finally answered after a few seconds of staring. “And I had one partner before you.”

Jared nodded against the pillow, bangs messing up against his forehead.

"What happened? Did he graduate or something?” Jared asked, plucking at a few of the loose carpet strings. He felt bad asking, but he couldn’t help wanting to know everything about Jensen.

Jensen sighed and laid back on his bed, folding his hands behind his head and staring at the ceiling.

"He’s dead,” he replied simply. Death was easy for him to talk about, it had to be in his line of work. Dylan was a friend, but he was expendable.

Jared’s heart dropped, a frown caressing his bitten lips.

"I’m sorry,” he whispered, “I’ve never had to go through that.” Jared assumed Jensen’s past roommate was his boyfriend as well and he got weirdly jealous of the dead man. “Have you dated anyone after his death?” Jared didn’t mean to prod but he was a naturally curious kid.

Jensen started laughing, a genuine laughter that put a strain on his abdomen.

"I wasn’t… Dating him! He was just a guy I roomed with since freshman year!” He grinned up at the ceiling before looking to the kid. “What makes you so sure I like guys?” He did, but he enjoyed seeing Jared squirm. It was… Cute.

Jared sat up quickly and a soft blush crept into his cheeks and turned darker once Jensen said the second part. Oh, God. Jared felt so pathetic for thinking Jensen was actually flirting with him. 

“I-I just assumed… When you s-said partner, it was m-more than roommates and… I… I’m sorry.” Jared’s shoulders sagged slightly, knowing he shouldn’t have gotten his hopes up. “I should probably keep unpacking…” the young male murmured, the blush not leaving his face and neck as he got up to organize his books on the empty bookshelf. He touched them reverently as he put them away. Jared had brought about 20 books and he had read all of them at least twice. Every time he read something for a second or third time, he could always find something that made that spark in his soul flare up despite the sadness that resided sourly in him.

Jensen frowned and sat up from his bed, suddenly feeling bad for toying with Jared.

"Hey, relax.” He got up and walked up behind Jared, placing his hands on either of his hips to still him. He leaned down to whisper in Jared’s ear, catching a whiff of his shampoo. Some sort of citrus one. It was nice. "I was just messing with you. You’re not wrong,” he assured quietly. Should he have been so close to Jared? No. Should he care about the kid’s feelings? Probably not, that’s how people got killed. Did that stop him from wanting to see Jared’s dimples? Absolutely not.

A small coil of heat stirred in the freshman’s lower stomach when he felt the hands on his hips. No one had touched him like that since…

“I-I wasn’t?” Jared stuttered, letting his body relax back into Jensen’s. It was so different with him. Jared was getting close to someone when he thought he would never trust ever again. “Do you… You can pick any book from mine for the club,” he offered, wishing Jensen would hold him closer, tighter.

Jensen squeezed Jared’s hips before letting go to pick out a book.

"You’ve read all of these, right?” He traced his fingers over the spine of one of the books, not missing how relaxed Jared was against him. “So what’s the point in reading them again?” He dropped his hand back to Jared’s hip, subtly pulling the boy back against his chest.

Jared let out a small, quiet sigh at the squeeze, then pouted at the loss of contact for that time being.

“That’s a good one,” he nodded his head in the direction of the book in Jensen’s hand and he immediately relaxed once Jensen was touching him. Jared pushed back into his roommate’s chest slightly, eyes fluttering shut. “I–there’s always something new I discover. I know the story but some of the details g-get overlooked the first time you read something,” the younger male answered, opening his eyes to adoringly looking over the books on the shelf.

Jensen leaned over the teen's shoulder and turned his head to let his eyes wander over Jared’s face, seeing the adoration for his books.

“Most people just read the books once and drop them like old news,” he said and looked back at the books. "Here, this one.” Jensen pulled a random book from the shelf and placed it in Jared’s hands. “See if you can find something new.”

Jared stared down at the book in his hands; it was one that he had read in middle school and he had fallen in love with the story.

"Okay,” he said simply, running his thumb back and forth over the sleek cover. “Do you have a favorite book?” Jared asked, turning in Jensen’s grasp to face him, a small smile gracing his face, the slightest showing of his dimples. Books were the way to Jared’s heart. He could talk about them for hours and if someone shared that interest or even just humored him, that same fire that was extinguished three years ago will light again, even though it would be small.

Jensen thought for a minute, staring into his roommate’s eyes and grinning.

“ _The Godfather_ by Mario Puzo.” He knew the irony, but he couldn’t help it; it was amusing that his favorite book just so happened to be so relevant. But, he wanted to hear Jared’s opinion.

A full dimpled smile crossed over Jared’s face and his eyes lit up with excited electricity. It seemed to be growing stronger every time he shared a small moment with Jensen.

“I love that book! I couldn’t stop reading it when I was in high school and I actually got it taken away because of that,” Jared laughed; a nice, full laugh that came from his chest and his heart.

I’ve never heard of someone getting a book taken away,” Jensen mused, running his thumb just under Jared’s shirt to stroke a soft area of skin. “So, what do you like most about it? The angst of the whole mob scenario?” he questioned.

The heat that was a small presence in Jared’s lower stomach grew and he whimpered, goosebumps growing all over his skin. Jared couldn’t deny that Jensen was driving him crazy in every way possible. 

“Y-Yeah, I l-like the mob st-stories. They’re a-always really suspenseful,” he whispered, pulling his lower lip into his mouth to chew on it, scared of his own feelings but his mind was hazy with lust. “W-Why do you like them?” he breathed, one hand moving up to curl his fingers loosely in Jensen’s shirt, craving more and more but not knowing his boundaries. It had been so long since Jared got intimate. He was honestly surprised that he was moving so quickly with another man, if a person could count this as moving quickly.

Jensen grinned and leaned closer, moving to whisper in Jared’s ear.

"I agree with your reasoning. The suspense really gets the blood pumping. Makes you jumpy and excited… You know?” It was easier to agree with Jared than to explain how Jensen knew so much about the Italian mob. “I liked the book so much I even picked up Italian.” He pulled back slightly to grin at Jared, taking a lock of his hair and tucking it behind his ear. “Do you know any other languages, bellissimo?” It spilled out almost naturally. It was true, Jared was a gorgeous little thing. Now, he wanted to see how his new roommate would react to it.

Jared’s eyes fluttered closed. Jensen was so close. The heat of his body felt so good to Jared and he leaned closer. A small gasp left his lips at the foreign word, body tingling, the sound traveling straight to his groin.

“I… I can s-speak a little Spanish…” Jared whispered, eyelids open to reveal hazel irises painted black with arousal. “What o-other things can you say?”

Jensen knew he should pull back, that he was getting a little too cozy with his roommate a little too quick.

“I can say a lot of things. But for now…” He ran a hand through Jared’s hair before pulling away, removing his hands from the boy completely. “I think it’s time to finish showing you around campus.” He straightened out his shirt and walked back to his bedside, grabbing the bottle of water he left there. He needed to take a breather and put some space between him and Jared before he did something extreme, like pin the kid up against the nearest wall and ravage him.

Jared leaned into Jensen's touch before huffing disappointedly when the touch, the heat, was taken so quickly away from him. He frowned but tried not to let his feelings ruin spending time with Jensen. At least they would be together, right?

Jared grumbled out an “okay” before grabbing his cellphone and schedule. “Maybe you could show me where my classes are,” the freshman suggested, handing him his list of classes–

_Intro to Law AJS224_

Trigonometry MC56

Creative Writing LA11

–and in scribbled handwriting— _Book Club LA09_.

Jensen smirked at Jared’s first class. It was the class that Jensen just so happened to be a teacher’s assistant in.

“No problem, I know exactly where all of these are,” he assured and looked at Jared. “You got your textbooks and shit ready for your classes?” He silently questioned how he managed to become so involved with his roommate, a freshman nonetheless.

“Yeah, I do. I can’t believe how much damn money they cost,” Jared grumbled, glaring at his stack of textbooks. “They’re gonna be a bitch to carry around, too.” Jared was so thankful he had Jensen as his roommate; he was a senior so he knew the school better than any freshman, was crazy attractive, and flirted with Jared constantly. He got so lucky.

Jensen lightly shoved Jared.

“Hey, you’ll work up some muscles, kid. And no one forced you to take such hard classes your first semester here,” he snorted as he opened the front door for Jared. Not only was he a gentleman, but he also wanted to sneak a peek at everything Jared was carrying.

Jared chuckled and lowered his head, hiding his smile shyly. He had always been a shy kid and it usually earned him teases from other people but Jensen seemed to like it. Jared lifted his head to actually smile at Jensen as he held the door. 

“Thank you,” he said softly, moving out of the door to stand in the hallway waiting for his roommate.

The senior took a good look at Jared’s figure and felt his pants tighten considerably. Being roomed with Jared would either be a blessing or a curse, and with the view Jensen had, he was feeling pretty blessed. 

“No problem.” He followed Jared out and started for the Intro to Law class. “You don’t talk to other people much, do you?” he asked to get his mind off of Jared sprawled across his bed.

Jared never noticed Jensen checking him out; he was oblivious sometimes to suggestive things like that. He tuned out anything intimate after what had happened to him in high school. As they began walking, Jared walked closer than he normally would to someone he just met, then nodded at his question. 

“Ever since the middle of high school, I never really got along with anyone. I was kind of an outcast,” he whispered the last part, a tiny frown forming on his mouth before he began biting his lip again. “Do you? You seem like the popular type.”

 _The hot one, too,_ Jared added in his head.

Jensen shrugged.

“I keep my distance most of the time. People know not to mess with me. I don’t really care for school politics and all that bullshit.” His lips turned downward slightly, though; he didn’t like Jared frowning. It just didn’t suit him. “A cute thing like you, an outcast? I’m surprised people weren’t trying to get you to go out with them.” He winked at the younger, wanting to see that pretty flush on his cheeks.

Jared wondered why people knew not to mess with him. Did he start fights? Did he hurt someone? Those thoughts scared him but he felt some excitement from them, too. Jared did, in fact, end up blushing and ducked his head, lips curving into an appreciative smile before he gently pushed his new friend.

“I’m surprised you’re not being hit on every second,” Jared blurted before his eyes opened a little wider. He just flirted with Jensen. That was so unlike Jared that he actually began to laugh at himself. Jensen was healing him and it had only been about four hours since he had met him.

Jensen grinned at the increasingly familiar sight of Jared’s blush.

“Well, it’s not like people don’t try. I just don’t flirt back. They aren’t worth my time.” In fact, there were a select group of girls that were hell-bent on trying to change Jensen’s mind about girls and there had been one in at least two of his classes last year. There were even a few boys who tried to throw themselves at Jensen when they found out Jensen played for the same team. But Jensen knew they wouldn’t be able to handle him or his family, so he didn’t give them a second look.

Random hook ups were a completely different story, though.

\---------

Jensen came out of the shower dressed in his night shirt and a pair of boxers--his normal sleepwear from even before he shared a room with Dylan. He was tired and his bed was calling his name. Jared or not, he was going to bed. He gave his roommate a nod of acknowledgement before getting into bed.

Jared was already sprawled out on his own bed, a book propped up on a pillow, legs splayed wide open. He turned to the senior and smiled tiredly. 

“Thank you for today, Jensen,” he said before setting the book on the bedside table and wiggling under the covers. “Do you ever get super deep when you get tired?” Jared asked, eyes still open after Jensen had turned off the light. “Like… Do you think about death and stuff and like, what if we aren’t real?”

Jensen kept his eyes closed, fully intent on reaching sleep sometime soon.

“Sometimes, Jared. Right now, I’m just thinking about counting the blood vessels in my eyelids,” he replied, voice gruff with tiredness.

“Okay but like,” Jared shifted onto his side, brushing the chestnut hair from his face before continuing, “what if you’re not real and I’ve been talking to the air but what if it was vice versa? Like, aren’t you afraid you’re actually crazy and none of this is real?” He shifted again onto his back, staring at the ridged ceiling.

Jensen shifted and opened a sleepy eye to glare at the teen.

"Well if you’re talking to the air, I suggest getting committed. If I’m talking to the air, I’ll get committed. If this isn’t real, then this conversation is real and I can sleep.”

“What if you’re already committed and this is a dream? And you’re getting surgery or something,” Jared replied, eyes squinting into the darkness. “Also, if you could talk to any animal, what animal would you talk to? I feel like parrots would hold nice conversations.”

Jensen groaned into his pillow.

"Jared, with all due respect, please shut up.” This was what he was afraid of when he heard he was getting a freshman roommate. Jared was lucky he was cute.

Jared pouted and huffed, turning to face the wall and closed his eyes. They opened right back up again.

“I think spiders would be kind of hyper. They would constantly be on alert and then… With dogs, they’d just repeat one or two words.” Jared’s brows pulled together, deep in sleepy thoughts.

Jensen got up and trudged over to his roommate’s bed, grabbing his shoulder and turning him so he was laying on his back and looking up at Jensen.

“Jared, if you don’t shut your mouth and let me get some sleep, I’m going to make you shut up,” he swore to the younger boy.

The freshman squeaked, an odd noise for a gargantuan kid like him. Flashbacks to his high school had him panicking. Jared’s chest heaved and tears begin to well up in his eyes.

“P-Please, Jensen, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’ll be better, I’m sorry,” he sobbed, twisting out of his grasp to curl up in a corner near the wall. How could Jared have been so foolish? He hadn’t learned anything from that day under the bleachers, had he? “I-I’m-m s-sorr-ry,” he blubbered, “p-please d-don-n’t h-hurt m-me.”

Jensen’s eyes widened and sleep was suddenly the last thing on his mind.

“Jared no, I’m not going to hurt you.” He sat down and pulled the boy close. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it like that.” He started rubbing Jared’s back, mentally scolding himself. Jared obviously wasn’t like the guys that worked for Jensen’s family. He was a lot more sensitive and Jensen needed to be a lot more understanding.

Jared was panting, curling into himself tighter when he saw Jensen moved closer. This was it. It was going to happen all over aga–Hug? Jensen was hugging him? Why? That only made Jared sob harder. The warmth and affection Jensen gave him after he had been so stupid was more than he could handle. 

“Th-Thank y-you for n-not hurting m-me,” the younger male cried, burying his face into his roommate’s chest, trying to stifle the broken sounds. Once he calmed down some, he looked up at Jensen with puffy, sleepy, red eyes and asked a question that could either make or break whatever bond they were forming. “Will you stay in bed with me? Just for tonight?”

Jensen couldn’t say no to that face, especially after being the cause of Jared’s tears.

“Sure, kid.” He wiped the tear streaks from Jared’s face, feeling like shit for making the boy cry. “I’m not going to hurt you, Jay. I promise. I’m sorry for making you think that.” He laid down and pulled Jared into his arms, tucking the younger’s head under his chin. The kid was more shattered than he thought.

_Jay._

Jared liked that nickname.

The exhausted boy sighed and nodded, repeating to himself, “Not gonna hurt me… Not gonna hurt me,” as if he were trying to convince himself. Jared pressed his body as tight as humanely possible to his friend and closed his heavy eyelids, slipping into sleep easily after that horrible fit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "bellissimo" means beautiful boy.


	2. Chapter 2

When Jensen woke up in a bed that wasn’t his own and holding a body that he didn’t remember holding, he panicked for a few moments. Then he looked down at the familiar head of brown shaggy hair and relaxed. He remembered Jared’s panic attack that prior night and frowned, deep lines finding their way onto his forehead. The younger boy was extremely sensitive, and Jensen wasn’t used to people like that. He knew it was going to be a learning experience for both of them.

Jared stirred gently in Jensen’s arms and he, too, panicked for a moment before realizing where he was and who he was with. The younger male let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding and looked up at the bigger man. Jensen had held him all night and didn’t do anything to him.

 _Not gonna hurt me_ , Jared repeated in his head. After the few seconds of panic then recognition, Jared smiled, fingers grasping at the front of Jensen’s shirt. 

“Good morning,” Jared murmured tiredly, yawning loudly. 

Jensen pulled Jared tighter against him and smiled softly.

“G’mornin’,” he greeted, voice rough with sleep.

“Thank you for staying,” Jared said, leaning his head forward into the crook of Jensen’s neck, inhaling his scent. Shampoo and just something oddly Jensen. “Should we get up today?” Jared mumbled against the other man’s neck. The feeling of the boy’s hot breath against Jensen’s neck making him hyper aware of how close they were. 

Surprisingly, Jensen slept well last night; he thought for sure that Jared would at least try to kick or something.

"As much as I’d love to stay in bed with you, bellissimo, I want to take you somewhere.”

Jared shivered at what he was called, squirming slightly in Jensen’s grasp. He had no idea why Jensen speaking Italian made him so fucking _hot_ but it did, and now that he was almost fully convinced Jensen wouldn’t hurt him, he didn’t mind having those feelings much.

“Where?” Jared queried, moving his head back to stare up at Jensen. The freckles were harder to see in the lower lighting but his eyes were just as green as they were before.

Jensen ran his fingers over Jared’s sides, grinning down at the boy.

"I was thinking of taking you out to one of the clubs,” he said quietly, not wanting to ruin how peaceful the quiet was this morning. “See what you’re capable of,” he laughed softly with a wink.

Jared’s skin raised with goosebumps, a quiet whimper releasing from his lips, body turning to mush against Jensen. The littlest things drove Jared crazy.

“I’m not 21 y-yet,” he reminded the older male, hiding his flushed face into Jensen’s neck.

Jensen slid the hand under Jared’s shirt, moving to press on his lower back, the warmth of his hand bleeding into Jared’s tan skin. 

“That’s not important. I have connections,” he assured gently, leaning in closer so he could hear more of the sounds Jared was making. “Do you want to go with me, Jay?”

Jared’s breath was shaky, body unmoving because he didn’t know what to do. It seemed like anywhere Jensen touched him sent sparks ripping excitedly through him. 

“Y-Yes, Jensen,” Jared panted, cock tenting his briefs slightly; he had no idea that someone could ever have this effect on him.

Jensen grinned and brushed his lips against Jared’s ear, whispering teasingly to the younger.

"You alright there, Jay? You sound a little out of breath.” He couldn’t deny that his boxers were starting to get tight as well. Having this willing and cute boy who was oh so responsive was doing nice things to Jensen’s morning wood.

Jared’s body shuddered and he subconsciously pushed right up against his new roommate, a louder whimper coming from his lips this time.

“P-Please…” Jared begged, although for what, he didn’t know.

Jensen groaned and cupped Jared’s face, tilting it in a way so their noses were practically touching. He stared into Jared’s eyes, his pupils blown with growing arousal.

"Do you have any idea how tempting you are?” he practically growled under his breath. Here Jared was, squirming and moaning and whimpering and _God_ , it was driving Jensen crazy.

Jared tensed at Jensen’s grab and was about to panic when he reminded himself, _He’s not gonna hurt me, not gonna hurt me_. He shook his head, practically black irises staring up into his roommate’s, thick lips parted to let out quick little breaths. Before Jared knew what he was doing, he was leaning up and pressing his lips to Jensen’s. He just needed more. More contact, more touches, more _Jensen_. Jared had only ever kissed one person before so he was awkwardly waiting for Jensen to take the lead, cheeks heating, the red hue working its way down his neck.

Jensen slid his hand from Jared’s jaw to weave into his hair, pulling him closer and starting to move his lips against Jared’s. His other hand pulled Jared flush against him, letting him feel everything Jensen had to offer. The feeling of Jared’s body against Jensen’s only increased his cock’s hardness.

Jared kissed back as best as he could, the blush never fading from his heated skin. When he was pulled close, his breath caught in his throat, eyes squeezing shut.

"T-Tell me you won’t hurt me again… Please?” Jared whispered against the other's lips, one of his legs moving to drape over Jensen’s hip. “Please, I need t-to hear it.”

Jensen groaned and slid his hand further down Jared’s back, inches away from grabbing his plump ass.

"I’m not going to hurt you, Jay,” he panted against Jared’s lips, brushing them together after every other word. “Not going to hurt you, only wanna make you feel good, baby.” He sucked Jared’s lower lip between his teeth, nibbling the plump lip he had watched Jared chew on the day before.

Jared’s internal panic subsided slightly, still right there in case anything happened that he needed to react quickly to. The boy experimentally ground up against the older man, their fabric-covered dicks sliding together roughly, the friction sending jolts of ecstasy up Jared’s lower stomach.

A hiss slipped through Jensen’s teeth and he palmed a handful of Jared’s clothed ass, guiding the teen in grinding against himself. He felt like he was going to bust any minute; the way Jared’s hips moved was the perfect combination of natural talent and the bashfulness that made everything hotter. Jensen was torn between wanting to flip Jared over and pound him into the mattress or letting the grinding continue. He really didn’t want to push these feelings onto Jared, so instead, he decided to grind back into Jared, letting the younger one feel how hard he made Jensen.

Jared let out a quiet yelp of surprise once his ass was grabbed and he whimpered pathetically, going tense. 

“Not going to hurt me, not going to hurt me,” Jared repeated out loud this time before letting his body move back against Jensen’s hand then up into his groin. It felt like his body was on fire and his emotions were at war. He so desperately wanted to run, to push Jensen away and not have high school happen all over again, but for some stupid reason, Jared trusted the older male. He just hoped Jensen wouldn’t break him just like how he was broken those three years ago.

Jensen pulled away and frowned at Jared, running his thumb over the boy’s cheek.

"Hey. What’s going on?” He let go of Jared’s ass in favor of holding his hip again, not wanting to freak Jared out any more than he already was. “I’m sorry if I got carried away.” Once the haze of lust started clearing away, he mentally cursed at how fast the two of them went in a matter of minutes. He scared the shit out of Jared last night and there he was practically fucking the kid through his pants.

 _Real piece of work, Jen_ , he thought to himself.

Jared sighed but didn’t admit that it felt better to just have Jensen’s hands above his waist; he just felt more secure that way. Jared’s eyelids fluttered open and he looked up shyly at his friend-crush. 

“Everything is fine.” Jared didn’t completely lie. He laced his long fingers through Jensen’s on his hip, concentrating on how well their bodies melded together.

Jensen pressed his lips to Jared’s forehead, a completely innocent gesture after the full blown make out session they just had. 

“Well, whenever you’re ready, I think we should grab some breakfast.” He pulled back slightly to look down at Jared, judging his reaction. “How does that sound?”

Jared smiled warmly at Jensen’s soothing words and nodded.

"Are we going to the cafeteria or out to eat?” Jared asked, sitting up. The sheets pooled around his waist, the clear outline of his hard but softening dick visible. “Is the food any good here?”

Jensen petted Jared’s hair back and looked over his body.

"The food’s good. S'gotta be with the amount we pay for tuition,” he chuckled and sat up too, his hair a mess and a suggestive bulge outlined under the sheet. “Depends what you’re in the mood for. We could get some pancakes,” he suggested.

Jared nibbled his lip gently, this time more in thought than out of nervousness.

“Pancakes do sound really good,” he finally replied, a glowing smile showing on his still pink face. “I should probably shower or something…” Jared said to himself and he scooted out of his bed and made his way over to their small, shared bathroom after grabbing a pair of soft, blue boxers.

He turned and locked the door to the cramped space and turned the small shower on, the heat and steam slowly billowing from behind the curtain after a minute. After Jared undressed, he stepped into the confined shower and groaned happily when the water beat down on his back soothingly. A dark flush crossed over his features and he grabbed a hold on his half-hard cock and began to gently stroke, back pressed up against the wall, some spray hitting his face. His large hand worked up and down the thickening length, mouth dropping open to pant as the strokes got faster. The freshman’s other hand came up his body and rubbed over his pebbled nipples. A soft moan slipped out of his open mouth and he began jerking his thick rod faster and faster, the image of Jensen up against him, grinding, fucking—

“Oh, f-fuck!” Jared sputtered quietly as cum shot from his swollen cock down onto the shower floor and part of the curtains. The boy milked the rest of what he could out before it became too sensitive and sighed contently as he began washing himself, wiping the cum off of the curtain and onto the shower floor for it to go down the drain; he didn’t need Jensen seeing that.

After his shower, Jared came out with just the boxers on, hair long and damp against his skull, half dried from the quick towel rub he gave it. Jared was all limbs but he was athletic and he had a nice toned abdomen with broad shoulders and strong but almost too long of legs. The younger male bent over to get a pair of pants from the bottom drawer and slowly pulled them on, slipping on a belt, and finally tugging a plain, white, collared t-shirt on. 

“Ready?” he asked Jensen, his features sporting an enthusiastic grin.

Jensen was already dressed in his faded blue jeans and a Stanford shirt, ever the representative of his school. He watched Jared come back from the shower in barely any clothes, the water droplets running down his body doing little for Jensen’s control. It was bad enough that he was only in his underwear but when he bent over to get clothes… Jensen just about died. He didn’t even try to hide the fact that he was eye-fucking the person he had been making out with that morning. 

“Of course, I was waiting for you,” he replied huskily, giving the teen a sly grin.

Jared once again ducked his head to the side shyly with a small laugh. He looked back up and began to walk with Jensen to the school’s cafeteria and when they were right outside the doors, Jared wrapped his fingers around his crush’s upper arm–damn, it was _firm_ –to stop him for a moment. 

“Is it gonna be crowded, Jen?”

Jensen looked at the clock on the wall and nodded before replying.

“A little bit. Just stay next to me,” he instructed as he led the freshman into the cafeteria. Once they entered those doors, Jensen became an entirely different person. His smile fell into a cold mask and his eyes grew hard and calculating, scanning over everyone in the room with a trained eye. The dorm room was private, but being in public meant a person had to watch their back at all times.

Jared nodded and removed his hand but stayed close to Jensen’s warm body. He so desperately wanted to reach out and tangle his fingers with his roommate’s but he knew Jensen probably wouldn’t like that. Jared turned his head to look up at the older man and he frowned; Jensen looked so… Angry? Once they got in line, Jared hesitantly brushed his fingers against Jensen’s hand, trying to hopefully get him to lighten up.

Jensen kept his face cool and collected. He looked down at Jared and raised an eyebrow. 

“Is there a problem?” He put his hands in his pockets, knowing that hand holding led to assumptions and assumptions could get him killed. “PDA isn’t really my thing,” he added to try and stop Jared from jumping to the conclusion that Jensen hated him.

Jared couldn’t help the slight drop of his heart when Jensen pulled away but nodded in understanding, gnawing on his bottom lip again. 

“You just look angry,” Jared whispered and sighed quietly once they got to the front of the line. “Um, can I get pancakes with a side of scrambled eggs, please?” Jared asked and smiled softly when he paid and waited for them to make his food and for Jensen to order. In his time waiting, he noticed the guy from the book club–Jake?–sitting off to the side with the ever-talkative Felicia sitting across from him. He was staring directly at Jared. Maybe he wanted him to go over to them to talk about the club, so Jared wandered away from Jensen to the only other familiar faces and smiled nervously when he got to their table. 

“Hey, um, Felicia and Jake right?” Jake just narrowed his eyes slightly and flicked them over to Jensen then back to Jared. Felicia jumped up to pull him into an unnecessary hug. 

“How’s your time here been so far, newbie?” the hyper redhead asked, flashing him a genuine smile. Jared really liked her. 

“It’s been okay,” he replied, giving her an actual smile back.

Jensen had immediately tensed when Jared left his side, his eyes following Jared all the way to a table that was occupied by the book club people. Jensen paid immediately and followed Jared, coming to a stop only when he was planted right next to the younger, hands holding two containers of food. Something felt off about this whole thing, but Jensen wasn’t sure what.

“So, did you want to sit here or go somewhere else?” he asked, hoping that Jared would say somewhere else. The way Jake was looking at Jensen had him on high alert, even if Jake was just a normal kid.

Jared jumped a little when Jensen’s voice was suddenly next to him. He looked at the other male and smiled and turned back to his new friend and acquaintance. Her smile faltered and she laughed nervously. 

“We were just leaving actually, but we’ll see you later,” Felicia said, trying to be bubbly but she seemed scared. Jake stood and gathered his things, staring at Jensen then back to Jared, then turned and headed for the door. “Bye, Jared, see ya' Thursday!” Jared’s lips turned up in the corners and he gave a small wave to his friend.

After the two had left, Jared looked around and spotted a secluded table in the corner of the cafeteria and walked over there; he didn’t have to worry if Jensen was by his side anymore. After he sat, he opened the black, styrofoam box and poured the syrup from the little plastic container all over his food and dug in eagerly, tongue occasionally dipping out to swipe at a stray droplet of syrup on his bottom lip.

The air around Jensen seemed to clear once they were alone. People didn’t pay them any mind and Jensen felt that it was okay now that something has changed. He wasn’t sure what it was but something about Felicia and Jake put him off.

He looked at Jared, digging into the pancakes like a happy child. The corner of Jensen’s lips twitched and he opened his own box of food, starting to eat with while watching Jared.

“You eat them like they’re the key to life,” he joked quietly.

Jared’s head perked up, cheeks expanded with food and a silly smile graced his sun-kissed face. He finished chewing and laughed. 

“I haven’t eaten since like… yesterday morning. Stress does that to me,” Jared said, beginning to eat his food slower.

Jensen’s eyes narrowed.

"You have to eat, Jared. I’m not going to have you pass out on me because you’re not eating,” he scolded the younger male, smirking. He took another bite of his pancakes, licking his lips free of syrup.

Jared snorted and rolled his eyes.

"Okay, _Dad_ ," he huffed and smiled. His brows furrowed, however, and he paused his eating. So… The club tonight. Um, what do I wear?”

“Unfortunately, pants,” Jensen joked and winked at Jared before continuing, “and I suppose some kind of button down. I don’t know what kind of clothes you have in your closet, so we’ll work with what you have.”

Jared blushed and smiled. The stress of the big move and the new surroundings made his appetite disappear but Jensen made him more relaxed than he had been in a while, despite his little panic attack. His cheeks turned rosier when the older male said unfortunately but laughed nonetheless and continued eating. 

After swallowing, he said, “Well, I have some button downs, regular shirts, some dressier shirts, stuff like that.” Jared finished up his pancakes and eggs, feeling satisfied and full. “What do you want to do beforehand? Can we nap?” Jared asked, leaning back in the hard, plastic chair, one large hand resting comfortably on his stomach.

Jensen raised an eyebrow at the boy.

"You want to nap? We just woke up,” the senior laughed, shaking and folding his arms behind his head before closing his eyes and going deep in thought. “I actually need to do something, so you’ll be on your own today. I’ll be back around six.” He opened his eyes to judge Jared’s reaction. Jensen was going to meet with his father, a meeting Jared couldn’t attend or even know about. Jared might like _The Godfather_ as a book, but based on Jared’s episode last night, he wouldn’t be able to handle _The Godfather_ in real life.

A flash of fear shadowed Jared’s calm features and he swallowed hard. 

“O-Okay,” he said simply, wishing Jensen didn’t have to go, but he was an adult. He could handle being without him… Right?

\---------

They both got back to their dorm room and Jared stood awkwardly, looking up at Jensen pathetically.

“Can…” Jared began then laughed at himself. He so desperately wanted to kiss his roommate before he left but he just looked back down and picked at his fingernails.

Jensen looked at the door and unlocked it.

"I forgot something. Come in with me?” He opened the door and followed Jared inside. When the door closed, Jensen pulled Jared into a kiss, one hand cupping the boy’s face while his arm snaked around his waist.

Jared gasped lowly but began kissing back slowly, two long arms wrapping around Jensen’s neck, lips moving languidly against the other’s. He wished he didn’t have to stop. The butterflies in his stomach were raging and Jared kissed him harder, like he was the only thing keeping him grounded. Eventually, he had to pull back and he took in deep breaths of air, face flushed and lips kiss-swollen.

You’ll be back at six?”

Jensen grinned down at Jared, lightly running his thumb over the younger’s pouty lower lip.

"Yeah, on the dot. Be a good boy now, alright, bellissimo?” He pulled away and smoothed his shirt out. It was completely unlike him to pull people into random kisses, especially kisses like that. Jensen wasn’t sure what made Jared so special, but he knew that if they continued on this road, he would have to protect Jared even more so than he already was.

The term of endearment from Jensen bypassed Jared’s heart and went directly to his dick. Jared’s cheeks turned an absolute rose red, shifting, trying to situate his hardened cock. The boy smiled and waved at Jensen before he left and sighed, running a hand through his hair. The room seemed small with Jensen’s broad body and Jared’s lanky one together in the space but now that the senior was gone… The room seemed bigger than it was. It was going to be a long eight hours.


	3. Chapter 3

About a half hour later, Jared was sprawled out on his bed, completely engrossed in a book when the door was knocked on. The sound made the boy jump and he looked at his watch. Did Jensen forget his keys? Jared got up and unlocked and opened the door, not expecting Jake. No emotions showed on his face and sure, that was a little unnerving to Jared, but at least he’d have company. 

“Come in,” Jared said, and moved aside before closing the door after Jake stepped into the small dorm.

“How long have you known Jensen?” Jake asked immediately, running careful fingers over the wooden desk that contained Jensen’s things, brushing them over the mug of pens and various textbooks, twirling the pens around in their ceramic holder.

“I–don’t touch those, please, he doesn’t like people touching his stuff,” Jared said, hoping Jensen wouldn’t notice anything out of place. Jake just nodded and faced Jared, raising an eyebrow to encourage him to answer the previous question. “I’ve only known him since yesterday morn–”

“Do you know about his family?” Jake interrupted, arms crossed over his chest.

“U-Uh, not really. He hasn’t said much about them.”

“How much do you know about him?” Jake questioned, another eyebrow raising, skeptical of Jared’s answers.

“I know he’s a senior and he’s majoring in law, his name is Jensen Johnson, he doesn’t like a lot of people, uh…” Jared really didn’t know a lot about his new friend-crush but for some reason, that didn’t stop him from liking him any less.

“Has he fucked you, yet?”

Jared was taken aback and looked at the other male in the room with wide eyes before scoffing.

"That’s not really any of your business, Jake. Why?”

“I have a crush on him,” Jake answered smoothly, no hint of the lie in his eyes.

Jared frowned and got weirdly jealous, brows pulling together.

“He told me he doesn’t like anyone,” Jared lied. He assumed Jensen liked him but Jensen had never really mentioned his love life.

Jake nodded and smiled.

"Sorry, sometimes I don’t ask the most appropriate questions,” Jake laughed, the sound stale. “See you around, Jared.” Jake turned to the door and walked out without another word, leaving Jared completely confused in the middle of his dorm room.

\---------

Jensen was sitting in front of his father’s desk, listening to what the Don had to say. Apparently, there was a leak in his school and that leak was from a rival family. This set Jensen on edge, knowing that now, not only did he have to watch out for himself, but Jared was becoming part of the equation. He sipped at the strong whisky as his father took a deep pull from the cigar he was smoking.

“We don’t know who the leak is and if it is a male or female, all we know is that they’re most likely armed and you need to be careful,” his father told him, smoke puffing out as he spoke, the wispy, gray clouds billowing around the two. Jensen nodded and was given a small handgun, untraceable and easy to hide but still plenty effective. 

“Thank you, Don,” Jensen said firmly, running his fingers over the smooth metal. “I’ll keep an eye out.”

\---------

Jensen returned to the dorm, his shirt covering his piece and his eyes harsh as he scanned over his peers with newly suspicious eyes. Any one of them could be a threat, and the fact that Jensen didn’t know drove him crazy. Once he entered his room and saw Jared, most of the tension slipped away. 

“Hey, I’m back,” Jensen greeted the younger. He checked his Rolex watch, nodding when it read 5:59PM. “I told you I’d be back right on the dot.”

Jared turned his head from the book he went back to reading after Jake’s appearance and grinned, setting it aside. 

“How was… Whatever you were doing?” Jared asked, getting up to meet him at the door so he could wrap his arms around Jensen’s broad body, hands resting against his shoulder blades. Jared knew he was being weird and clingy but he couldn’t help it; whenever Jensen was near him, it was like the regular world stopped, as cliché as that was. The freshman snuggled his face into the crook of Jensen’s neck, inhaling his familiar and relaxing scent. He smelled different this time, though. There was the regular smell that what just so uniquely Jensen, but he smelled like cigars and whiskey. Jared frowned against his neck, scenarios running through his head. He probably went to a bar and fucked some hot guys or something. This thought only made him clutch his roommate harder.

Jensen wrapped his arms around Jared’s waist and kissed his forehead. 

“It was good. Are you ready to go out and have some fun?” He pulled back and slipped the piece into his desk drawer quietly, not wanting to draw attention to the gun. He was pretty sure Jared would faint if he saw it.

Jared smiled softly, eyeing his clothes. He went over to his drawer and shimmied out of his sweatpants, baby blue briefs cradling the globes of his ass gently before being covered up by dark denim, the pants slightly tight fitting. The younger male put his sweatpants on his bed then slipped off his shirt, throwing that into the dirty laundry basket before pulling on a purple v-neck, the cut not too low but enough to frame his athletic chest nicely. He sat on his bed to pull on his regular white shoes and stood, smiling excitedly at Jensen.

“Do I look okay?” the boy asked, a rosy hue embracing his cheeks and neck.

It took a while for Jensen to stop thinking about how nice Jared’s ass looked and how much nicer it would look with his dick slotted between it. 

“You look fine.” That was an understatement, but he didn’t want to scare the kid off by telling him just how _fine_ he looked. He hid a smirk when he realized he could now return the favor and give Jared a peek of what he was dealing with. Jensen pulled his burgundy button up out from his closet and draped it on the bed, stripping his Stanford shirt off and exposing his bare chest to Jared for the first time. He watched Jared with a sly smirk, knowing exactly how good he looked. He pulled a black t-shirt on and put the burgundy button up over it, taking his time with the buttons.

Jared watched in with awe, amazed that someone could look that sexy. He bit his lip, heat swirling in his cheeks and dick, the tight pants doing nothing to hide his hardening member.

“Y-You look nice, t-too,” he stuttered, crossing his arms in front of him, his head tilted shyly away from his roommate. “Wanna go now?”

\---------

When they arrived at the club, Jensen wrapped his arm around Jared’s waist, eyes skimming the outside perimeter out of habit. The guard spotted Jared and was about to tell him to scram, but then he caught sight of Jensen’s arm around him and a look of understanding came on his face. He didn’t ask for an ID from either one of them, already knowing that Jensen, including his family, was able to get in to the club with no hassle, no questions asked.

Jensen looked down at Jared with a grin when they entered, the lights dim and the music almost deafening. The club was packed with bodies both on the dance floor and the bar. It was one of the classier clubs in the city, the bar-top glowing with a luminescent light, the color changing every now and then. The floors were a shiny, white linoleum and the walls were a thick, cool concrete. There were dark, wooden high-top tables scattered throughout with small bar stools accompanying them. The entire place was packed with a young crowd, a few older patrons hanging in groups in the back booths, drinking their expensive whiskey.

“Why don’t we get started with a drink?” Jensen offered the other, seeing that there was more room at the bar. He didn’t want to push the shy boy straight into the crowd of people just yet.

Jared’s body was completely overwrought with tension. The amount of people in the place did nothing good for his anxiety but with Jensen’s arm around him, he felt safe. Safer than normal. 

“Okay,” Jared said into his date’s ear, hesitating before saying, “I’ve never drank any alcohol before.” Jared hated how his cheeks heated from the embarrassment of being so innocent. He was 18 and he was probably the most innocent teenager alive. He looked up at Jensen with worried eyes, brows pulled together. “Order for me?” the younger male asked, hand gripping Jensen’s upper arm.

The older male nodded and pecked Jared’s forehead. He decided to get something fruity that wouldn’t burn Jared’s throat on the way down. He had a feeling that Jared would have to build up to the harder stuff. The senior frowned at the tension that was radiating from Jared. 

“Don’t worry, Jay. I told you I’m not going to hurt you and I won’t let anything happen to you,” he spoke in Jared’s red ear as he handed him the drink after he had ordered and the bartender had smoothly and quickly made their drinks.

Jared nodded, repeating Jensen’s words over and over in his head. It was comforting and Jared relaxed some but couldn’t stop being nervous. It was just who he was. The underage boy sipped the drink and let out a small little groan. 

“This is really good!” Jared exclaimed, beaming up at his friend. “What is it?”

“Blood orange vodka,” Jensen answered immediately, taking a swig of his bourbon. It was an acquired taste for some people but to his family it was practically water. He was pretty sure they owned a large portion of Jack Daniel’s. “When you’re finished, we’ll go dance,” he said as he glanced over the crowd.

Jared nodded and sipped slowly on his drink, leaning against the illuminated bar counter. Familiar eyes caught his and he frowned. 

“Jake’s here,” Jared said, nudging Jensen, “he came to our dorm today asking all kinds of weird questions. I think he’s probably just socially awkward but I didn’t know he liked to go to clubs.” Jared finished his drink and put his glass down, looking at the liquid sloshing around in Jensen’s. “Can I try some?”

Jensen looked over at Jake and his eyes narrowed dangerously, his arm tightening around Jared’s waist. His father’s words echoed in his mind, the warning of a leak in the school that could turn very dangerous if handled incorrectly. Jensen was fifty percent sure Jake was that leak, but he couldn’t kill someone without at least some kind of proof. The thought of Jake alone with Jared… His Jared. If Jake was the dangerous one, Jensen was glad he brought the piece. Jared cocked his head to the side at the way Jensen was acting but didn't pay any special attention to it.

“Yeah. Sure,” Jensen said calmly and looked down the two inches at Jared and let him take his drink, ordering another one just in case Jared liked it.

Jared took a small sip of Jensen’s drink and sputtered, face contorting into a look of disgust. 

“What the fuck is that?” Jared yelled over the pulsing music, holding it back out to his date. Jensen’s stiffness eased away and he found himself laughing at the revulsion on Jared’s face. Normally he would feel offended, but the situation was just too amusing. He took the glass from Jared’s hand and made a show of knocking it back, along with the other one that he ordered.

"An acquired taste, Jay,” he said and grinned at the younger. “That’s why I got you something fruity.” 

Jared looked at Jensen like he was a crazy person for drinking something so vile.

"Well, can I have something stronger at least? I want to catch up to you on the fuckin’ blood alcohol content,” Jared teased, eyes darting back to Jake’s, his still boring into his own.

Jensen followed Jared’s line of sight and narrowed his eyes at Jake, an unspoken threat directed at him. Jensen had a fine bit of experience roughing people up and he would have no problem doing the same to Jake. He looked back at Jared with a small smile. 

“I have a high tolerance. It takes a lot to get me drunk. You… Well, I’ll have to keep my eyes on you.” He grinned and ordered a stronger drink, a third of it orange juice and two-thirds of it straight vodka. “Drink and then we’ll go dance.” He hoped that Jake would lose sight of them in the crowd of bodies that they’d hopefully disappear into.

Jared laughed and shoved Jensen’s shoulder slightly. When his drink arrived, he sipped at the still fruity but much more bitter drink and actually loved it, chugging it down in a mere thirty seconds. He made Jensen order him two more, the drink making his body buzz warmly, and he loved the feeling. 

“Okay, let'sgolet'sgolet’sgo,” Jared said excitedly after downing the third drink and grabbed his date’s arm to pull him into the ocean of bodies. The alcohol warming Jared’s body relaxed him enough to where if he was at least touching Jensen, he’d be fine. Clutching onto his strong biceps, Jared flashed him a little more than tipsy smile. Damn, he was a lightweight. “Teach me how to dance,” he whispered into Jensen’s ear, hot, alcohol scented breath ghosting over the skin.

Jensen groaned and moved his hands to Jared’s hips, pulling him so they were pressed together.

“I’ll teach you everything, baby.” He pressed his lips to Jared’s neck and started moving against the younger one.

Jared moaned softly; Jensen wouldn’t have been able to hear it over the sound of the music if Jared hadn’t been so close. Accompanying the warm intoxication running through his veins, a warm flush of arousal swept through Jared’s body and he timidly began moving his body up against the older male’s, grinding shyly. He had no idea how it worked, but from the contact of their groins to Jensen’s lips on his neck, he could barely think straight.

“There you go, just like that, _bel ragazzo_ ,” Jensen praised lowly, large hands squeezing Jared’s hips, pulling him even closer. Jared whined lowly, arms wrapping around the older male’s neck, fingers massaging his scalp. Precome smeared the inside of his boxers, the tight jeans almost painful for Jared from how hard he was. Was grinding even dancing? Jared didn’t care at that point, moving smoothly against his partner’s body. 

“Oh, God,” Jared sighed, knees shaky. His breaths picked up the pace as they continued their erotic dance, and before he knew it, his fingers were curled tightly in Jensen’s soft hair, come spurting out into his underwear. Jared writhed against the older male for a few seconds, before his eyes flew open with fear. “F-Fuck! Gotta pee,” Jared said quickly, pushing away from Jensen and practically running for the bathroom. Jensen’s eyebrows raised with confusion and he didn’t get the chance to ask Jared what was going on. He moved to the bar area again, waiting for his roommate to come back from the restroom.

Jared groaned inside the stall, pants around his ankles while he sat on the porcelain, scooping cum out of his underwear. His heart practically stopped when he heard the bathroom door open and he stopped his movements, afraid it was Jensen.

“We could get to him through Jared,” the familiar voice said, seeming to be directed at a phone since there was no reply.

Jake? Why was he talking about him?

“Yes, I know it didn’t faze him when Dylan was killed, but it looks different with Jared, Sir,” Jake spoke, a pause as he listened to the other person over the phone. “Yes, Don. Yes. Thank you.” Jake ended the call after that, leaving the bathroom swiftly.

Jared let out a huge breath and threw the dirty toilet paper away into the toilet and flushed, taking his time washing his hands and drying them before leaving. What the hell was Jake talking about?

“Let’s go,” Jared mumbled to Jensen, pulling him away from the bar and into the cool nighttime air. The older male nodded his respect to the bouncer but let Jared lead him to the Impala, the smaller male getting in quickly and sitting in a weird position. Jensen shook his head and laughed, completely confused but enjoying the odd behavior of his roommate.

\---------

“What was that about?” Jensen asked the freshman once he came out of the shower, the older male already in his pajamas. Jared’s cheeks flushed and he sighed.

“Nothing, I just… Nothin’,” Jared answered, grabbing pajamas and new underwear from his dresser before changing in the bathroom then going back out to lay down on his bed. “Jake was in the bathroom and he mentioned Dylan’s death and he was talking to some guy named Don and I have no idea who Don could be, but I want to find out and ask why him and Jake are so obsessed with you and me,” Jared mentioned, hoping to get off the topic of his panicked bathroom visit. It was already weird how Jake had come to their room earlier that day and interrogated him, and now the phone call in the restroom was the icing on that strange cake.

Jensen’s eyes narrowed and his jaw became tense. 

“That’s weird,” he said through gritted teeth, turning off the light before Jared could see his murderous expression. Not only was Jake talking to “Don”, but he brought up the death of Dylan. Most people didn’t know about the death and Jensen was almost positive the leak was Jake, but… He still had no hard proof. “’M’sure he didn’t mean anything by it,” he added smoothly, trying to ease the freshman.

“Yeah… I guess,” Jared mumbled and got underneath the covers with a sigh. “So what do you think is after death?”

“Oh my God, Jared, shut up!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "bel ragazzo" means beautiful boy.


	4. Chapter 4

Jared and Jensen spent that following day in their dorm just sleeping or talking to each other. Anything else was too much work for the hungover pair. So when Monday came, Jared felt refreshed and well-rested. 

"G'mornin', Jensen," Jared greeted the other, toweling off his wet hair as he came out of the small bathroom. "Did y'sleep well?" he asked, throwing the wet towel into the hamper. Clear water droplets trickled down his muscular torso and were absorbed into the white towel hanging low on his waist. Jared didn't know just how enticing he could be at times.

Jensen eyed the teen with a small smirk, not bothering to hide his very obvious eye-fuck.

"I'll show you a good morning," he replied with a wink, his voice raspy with sleep. "I slept well up until you got up, Sasquatch." He sat up and ran his hand through his bed-head.

Jared stuck out his tongue and laughed.

"Sorry," he said, grabbing a pair of briefs, a Stanford shirt, and light blue jeans. The boy went into the bathroom to change—so what if he had dry humped his roommate, he still wanted privacy—before putting his books into his backpack. "Did you still wanna walk me to class?" the teen asked, toeing on his brown sandals.

Jensen nodded and slid out of bed, pulling on a black button up over his bare chest as well as a sweatshirt over that.

"Law, right?" he feigned forgetfulness as he grabbed his books for the day.

"Mhm! I'm glad you've taken this course, maybe you could help me with stuff I don't get," Jared said and walked out of the room with his crush. 

\---------

The walk to the Intro to Law classroom was short lived and when they got there, Jared was confused as to why Jensen wasn't walking away. 

"Jen... Don't you have class, too?" the freshman asked, not yet opening the door, hugging his book to his chest.

Jensen smirked and shushed the teen, ushering him inside with a pat to the bottom.

"Let's sit in the back." He didn't give Jared time to reply as he dragged the boy to one of the very last rows. 

The teacher walked in and smiled at his new class. He was an older man, salt and pepper hair along with wire-rimmed glasses. He dressed a little too fancy for being a professor, but then again, Jared didn’t know how most professors dressed. 

“Hello everyone and welcome to Intro to Law. My name is Dr. Richardson and I'll be your professor for the remainder of the semester. In the back there is my teacher’s assistant Jensen." He pointed to the back of the class, directly where Jensen and Jared were sitting. 

Jensen had to keep the smirk from his face as he waved to the class.

"Hey, guys. Jensen Johnson, if you need help and Richardson isn't available, then I'm all ears."

Jared's cheeks turned a soft pink and he looked down at the little table, running his fingernail along the hardcover book he had brought with him.

"Alright, we're just going to go over the syllabus today," Mr. Richardson said, shrugging out of his tan suit jacket, placing it on the back of a rolly chair in front of a large wooden desk.

"Jensen, why didn't you tell me you’d be in this class?" Jared hissed under his breath, trying to go along with what his teacher was saying but he couldn't process anything with the hand that was slowly moving up his thigh.

"Because I thought you'd like the surprise," Jensen chuckled and rubbed circles into Jared's thigh. "I thought you'd be happy to know that we're classmates."

Jared flushed darker and squirmed in his seat, highlighting important things on the syllabus after it was passed out.

"I am—I—God, you're gonna be the death of me," Jared grumbled, biting down on his lip nervously.

Jensen squeezed Jared’s jean clad thigh before pulling away to cross his arms.

"Wouldn't dream of doin’ that, sweetheart," the senior replied, drawling out his words in an almost bored manner.

Jared's brows furrowed and he grunted out of frustration. He wanted to Jensen to keep touching him but he wanted to pay attention. His leg bounced anxiously, and despite having Jensen next to him on his first day, he still felt nervous.

Jensen hummed under his breath and returned his hand to Jared's thigh after a few minutes. He wasted no time inching up the boy's leg, gently ghosting two fingers over the chubbed-up cock. A small smirk could be seen at the corner of Jensen's lips; no one would suspect anything unusual.

Jared's breath caught, body going rigid. His dick twitched happily at the contact, slowly getting harder at the tiny touches. He had to hide his moans as coughs, some students turning around to look at him funny. 

"Jen..." he whispered, biting down on his lower lip so hard it almost drew blood.

Jensen pressed harder, starting to rub the boy through his pants. 

"Keep quiet and pay attention, Jay. Don't wanna get in trouble with the teacher," he cooed quietly.

Jared ran a shaky hand through his hair, putting his high lighter down, hand curled into a fist.

"Hnngh," the teen whimpered quietly, breaths shaky as he was rubbed. “I’m so gonna fail this class if you don’t stop,” he breathed, a small, breathy laugh slipping past his lips as he opened his legs farther apart for the other male.

"You telling me you don't like this, baby?" Jensen squeezed Jared's balls and kept rubbing the shaft, wondering what Jared would do if he slid his hand _inside_ Jared's pants. The possibility of getting caught sent a thrill through him. He _wanted_ to make Jared moan.

Jared rubbed the heel of his hand into his forehead, shutting his eyes tight. Precome smeared the inside of his underwear and he sighed shakily.

"P-Please..." Jared whimpered, rolling his hips up slightly into the other's busy palm.

Jensen quietly undid the button on Jared's jeans and slipped his hand inside. He gripped the pulsing cock and circled his thumb around the tip and started pumping his hand.

Jared froze and he gulped, fighting down every moan that was threatening to come out. He clasped a hand over his mouth, head lowered. Little tremors shook his body as Jensen began stroking him. He had to moan again so he coughed several times into his arm. 

"Are you okay?" Mr. Richardson asked Jared. The teen's face went beet red and he swallowed hard. 

"Y-Yeah, just sick is all," he lied, biting at his lip once again. He wondered if anyone knew what was going on below the table.

Jensen kept his eyes on his syllabus so no one would piece together that Jensen was doing something to Jared. His thumb swiped the dab of precome that was oozing from Jared's dick, using it to lazily stroke the boy while he was talking to the teacher. When Mr. Richardson turned, Jensen picked up the speed of his hand. 

"You're so good, baby. How many people do you think know you're getting a handjob?" the other male asked, licking his lips with pure lust in his eyes.

Jared's blush never went away as he wiggled in his seat, body on fire. 

"I-I don't think anyone does..." Jared answered discreetly, left hand clutching his knee with a bruising grip "Jensen..." he whined quietly as the heat built in his lower stomach, a telltale sign of getting close.

"Let go, baby boy, I've got you," he kept his voice soft and reassuring.

Jared bit down on his plush bottom lip so hard it actually broke the skin as he came, breaths coming out in heavy pants. Cream coated his briefs and he slumped in his seat once Jensen had pulled his dirty hand out. He didn't really understand the height of the situation until he looked down and saw the wet spot that had formed.

Jensen looked at the teen and wiped his hand with a spare napkin he kept in his bag from breakfast a few days ago.

 _Wow, what a senior_ , Jensen thought to himself.

"We'll go to the room after this and get you cleaned up," he murmured as he re-buttoned Jared's pants. He offered the teen another napkin to press to his lip, tiny beads of blood forming on the skin flushed skin.

Jared took it appreciatively, dabbing his lip.

"Thanks," he whispered and when the teacher dismissed them, he sat still. "Everyone is gonna see..." he sighed, running an anxious hand through, hand flapping to signal the fucking cum stain on my jeans.

Jensen pulled his sweater off and gave it to Jared. It was large enough on Jared so it went just below the wet spot and it smelled of Jensen's aftershave and cologne. 

"Wear it until we get back to the room," he murmured so no one else would hear.

"Thank you," Jared said, taking the sweater gratefully. "I appreciate it." He pulled the comfortable sweater over his smaller frame and bit his lip as he pulled it down as far as it would go. "I might have to keep this forever," he joked, feeling like he was practically being hugged by Jensen. 

They hurried to their shared dorm and Jared gave the sweater back reluctantly and changed his pants. Today would be a long day. 

\---------

Jared entered the dorm room with a groan and dropped his heavy backpack right away near the door and padded to his bed, falling full body into the mattress. 

"Forgot how much I hated school," he grumbled. "Fuckin' trig teacher already started the lesson."

Jensen was laying down and reading a book, stopping only to look over at Jared. He chuckled at the teen's disgruntled appearance and looked back at his book. 

"The teacher was teaching? Who would've thought? That's horrible," he teased with a grin.

Jared whipped his head on his pillow to give Jensen a death glare before cracking out in a smile he couldn't hide. 

"How were your classes?" Jared asked, turning to lay on his side and study the other man's face. Smooth skin dusted with freckles that gave the stars in the night sky a run for their money. Hair that wasn't quite blonde and wasn't quite brown, always so soft to the touch. Prominent jawline that made Greek sculptures look sloppy and amateur. Jensen was gorgeous.

"They were okay. I managed to get my homework done while you were in class." He closed his book and set it down, shifting so his hands were folded behind his head. "How are you besides that mean old teacher giving you homework?" he chuckled, raising a brow.

"That's good," Jared replied and closed his eyes. "And pretty good. Just tired," he mumbled, not even giving any warning before he fell asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for taking a while to update. This section of the story got lost and my friend and I are having to redo it.


	5. Chapter 5

Two weeks had passed like time wasn't a concept; Jared was already excelling in his classes and getting closer to Jensen. He still didn't know much about the man but the mystery behind his life was almost kind of hot. 

The two were seated in the book club room, the book Jensen had picked out for Jared clutched happily in his hands. 

"Hi, guys! Nice to see all of you," Felicia greeted, the ever-genuine smile gracing her lips. Jared smiled, her happiness contagious. He wasn't concentrating as much because again, Jensen had one of his secret meetings with whoever, the scenarios running through the teen's head making his esteem a lower; he was sure Jensen liked him at that point but still, he couldn’t help feeling as if he wasn’t the only one in his life. 

As Felicia talked, Jake stared at Jared, uneasiness growing in the pit of the freshman's stomach. Jensen tightened his arm around Jared’s shoulders protectively and almost territorial-like, eyes narrowing at the other male. He had a bad feeling about Jake. 

“When did you have to leave again?” Jared whispered, turning to look up at his crush, biting at his lip.

“In a couple minutes,” Jensen replied quietly, frowning and pushing a piece of hair behind the teen’s ear. Jared just nodded and sighed turning back to the group. It wasn’t long before the freshman got absorbed into the discussion of books, and Jared pecked the boy’s temple as a signal that he had to leave and Jared just nodded and smiled up at him. He was among friends; he’d be fine.

\---------

Jensen arrived at the compound, nodding at the guards as he walked coolly into his father’s office. The grand mahogany doors closed behind him and he took a seat in one of the genuine leather seats in front of the large desk. 

“Here, you’ll need this, Jensen,” his father Alan said calmly, pouring him a glass of expensive whiskey. Some protective feeling stirred inside of Jensen and he took the glass with a steady hand.

“Thank you, Sir,” Jensen said before he took a slow sip. The burn did nothing to ease the heat of the impending bad news.

“We found out who the leak is,” Alan said, lighting up a Cuban cigar, taking a slow drag. “His name is Jacob Abel. Father’s Jeffrey Abel. We knew they killed Dylan but I didn’t think he had enrolled his son into Stanford,” the Don said, voice almost nonchalant. Jensen's grip almost shattered the glass in his hand and his face paled. 

_Jared._

“You can kick my ass later, Don, but I have to go,” Jensen said quickly, teeth grinding together as he hurriedly placed the glass down, some of the auburn liquid sloshing out onto the table. He ran out of the room and to his car, heart pounding in his chest.

\---------

Jared was walking along the outside walkway back to his dorm, smiling contently. Even though Jensen wasn’t there with him, it was still a good book club meeting. A few bumps came from the alley to his left and Jared slowed his steps, eyebrow cocking. He had told Jensen he’d go straight back to their dorm but being the curious kid he was, he stepped closer, trying to see what was making the noise. His eyes widened and he cupped a hand over his mouth.

“No more eavesdropping for you, bitch,” Jake growled before slowly pushing a small blade into Felicia’s throat. Gagged, gurgling noises came from her pale lips, no hint of a smile on her face. Blood dripped down from the knife, not spurting since it was still lodged in her throat. Jake moved to the side and yanked the now crimson knife out of her neck. She dropped to her knees, ruby blood pulsing out of the wound. She clutched at her neck but it proved to be futile. Her once happy, bubbly body slumped down to the floor, eyes still open wide in fear.

Jared was already sobbing and running to his dorm. He dropped the key to his room multiple times before he entered and his chest was heaving as he dialed Jensen’s number, tears clouding his vision.

“J-J-Jen,” he whimpered, collapsing down onto his bed.

“Jay, what’s going on?” Jensen asked, his voice urgent as he pressed down on the gas petal. He was already only a couple miles from there, so close.

“J-Ja-ake… Fel-lici-a…” the teen sobbed, absolutely hysterical.

“I’ll be there soon, I promise, Jared, just breathe,” Jensen said, trying to calm the freshman. 

“H-He… K-illed h-her-r,” Jared cried, body doubled over as almost silent sobs came from his lips.

“I’m pulling up to the school now, just stay in the room and listen to my voice,” Jensen assured, slamming the driver’s side door, locking the door, and shoving his keys into his pocket before bolting to the senior dorm building. 

“H-Hur-ry,” Jared stuttered, rocking back and forth in complete meltdown mode.

Jensen burst into the room not a minute later and locked the door behind him, dropping his phone on the desk and sitting next to the teen, pulling him into his arms to cradle him. 

“Shh, it’s okay, just tell me what happened. You’re okay, you’re okay,” Jensen repeated, rocking him as well, rubbing his back. 

“H-He killed h-h-her,” Jared sobbed, burying his face into the older male’s chest. “F-Fuck-cking sta-abbed her,” he whispered, tears and snot coating Jensen’s shirt.

Jensen opened his mouth to speak, unsure of what to tell Jared. He didn’t ever want to tell Jared of his mafia life but he had to.

“I need you to look at me,” he said, pulling back to cup Jared’s face. “This is really important.”

Jared looked up at the senior, cheeks flushed, eyes glossy.

"W-What?”

“This is going to sound insane but… I’m a part of a mob. The Ackles mob. You might have read about them or heard about them on the news. Jake was in a rival family. He was probably here to get information on me—“

“W-What the fuck, Jensen?" Jared yelled, shoving away from Jensen, body shaking with fear and anger. “Th-This isn’t the time to fuck w-with me! What’s w-wrong with y-ou!” he shouted, almost angrier than scared at that point.

“No! I’m not lying, I’m telling the truth! We gotta get out of he—“

“F-Fuck you!” Jared screamed, uncaring of how their dorm neighbors were probably worried. He grabbed his wallet and phone and stormed out, half running out of the building and down the street. He had seen a motel on his way to Stanford and he was definitely going to stay there. Fuck Jensen. Fuck him and his sick fucking jokes. His phone rang at least forty times but each time, Jared denied the call. When he arrived at the motel, he slammed his credit card down on the dirty counter top, face red with anger.

“I’m guessing a room for one?” the clerk said, eyebrow raising. 

“Yes,” Jared growled, tone clipped. The clerk took his information and gave him the key card to his room and Jared stormed out and into the small room. He pulled at his hair and yelled and cried and punched before he finally fell onto the scratchy sheets, body worn out, emotions used up. His breath evened out and he fell asleep even though he didn’t want to.

\---------

Jensen had a feeling as to where the kid was going. Where else could he run to? His only friend was dead. After about an hour, hoping to let the teen wear himself out, he packed up all of their belongings and drove to the motel down the street. The senior, with a little bit of money and intimidation, got which room Jared was staying in, and opened the door quietly. The room was fucking destroyed. A hurricane of teenage rage punished the surroundings; a lamp was thrown and broken on the floor, TV screen shattered, holes punched in the walls—wow, Jared was pretty strong—phone broken on the floor… And a lanky Jared sprawled out starfish style on the bed.

Jensen almost laughed at the absolute destruction of the room and ripped a piece of duct tape off of the roll he brought and tossed the circle of the rest of it onto the desk at the other end of the room. With trained speed, he taped Jared’s mouth shut and threw him over his shoulder. It took Jared a few seconds to realize what was happening and he yelled out, the sound muffled anyway, hitting and kicking. Jensen had had worse and he gently laid Jared and his flailing limbs into the backseat of his SUV and shut the door, a child lock preventing his escape. Jensen climbed into the front seat and started on the journey to the compound.

“Wh’ th’ f'!” Jared screamed, tape muffling his “what the fuck”.

“It’s just me,” Jensen said calmly, looking in the rearview mirror at the freshman. His voice seemed to quiet Jared but only for a minute before his brows furrowed and he radiated anger once again. He began a tirade of insults and curse words, all unintelligible until Jared realized he could take off the duct tape anyway. 

“Fuck you! What the fuck, Jensen! Who the fuck do you think you are! I’m gonna fucking get you fucking arrested you fucking fuck!” Jared screamed, the sound piercing Jensen’s ears because of the confined space.

“Jared! Calm down!” Jensen growled, pulling onto the dirt road that would lead to their compound. It was still a good ten miles into the woods before they actually arrived so he sped, going as fast as his car would take him.

Jared seethed and contemplated attacking his kidnapper until fear hit him. Isolated woods. No one would find his body.

“Are… Y-You going to kill me…?” Jared asked quietly, body shrinking into itself against the door, beginning to shake.

“No,” Jensen sighed, running a stressed hand through his hair. “I’m taking you to safety,” he explained, “I wasn’t lying. And… I really care about you and needed to keep you safe.”

“Wow! What a way of showing me how much you care by _kidnapping me_!” Jared yelped, still wary of the entire situation. 

“Jared, stop, just… Look.” They were finally arriving at the huge compound.

Jared’s parents weren’t poor but they weren’t wealthy either. The large building made his childhood home look like a cardboard box; the whole complex was probably seven times the size of his old home. They had to be buzzed in, the black iron gate opening after the confirmation of both identities. It took another five minutes to pull up to the cobblestone, half-circle driveway. Suddenly, Jared didn’t have many doubts about Jensen. He tried opening the car door but of course, Jensen had put some kind of child lock on it.

“Ugh,” he grunted, crossing his arms over his chest.

Jensen got out and opened the door for the teen, frowning. He didn’t want this to happen. Jared hopped out of the car and headed toward the big front doors, not even knowing where he would go after he got inside. But, of course, it was locked. He kicked at the sleek, marble door and growled in his throat, unaware of the guards moving towards him.

“Stop,” Jensen said, putting up a hand to each of the guards. “He’s just… Angry,” he clarified, “he’s harmless.” Jared shot daggers at Jensen as the door was unlocked with an ID card and a thumbprint.

“Ragazzino fastidioso,” one of the guards spit, standing back. Jensen stopped in his tracks and narrowed his eyes at the other guard.

“Non insultarlo di nuovo o sparirai,” Jensen hissed and the guard seemed to back off like a submissive dog after that. Even though Jared was completely angry, it still impressed him that Jensen could speak Italian so fluently. Jared followed the senior inside, still pissy and huffing like a child.

“I’ll take you to my dad,” Jensen sighed, resting a hand on the small of Jared’s back. The younger male pulled away, glaring and silent, but following.

It was going to be a long night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Ragazzino fastidioso" means annoying kid and "Non insultarlo di nuovo o sparirai" means do not insult him again or you will go missing".


	6. Chapter 6

It became all too real for Jared once they entered the Don’s office. It was foreign to Jared but almost like home to Jensen. His father was sitting in the large chair and was about to degrade his son for his behavior until he noticed the cowering boy beside him. 

“And who might you be?” the man asked, sitting up straight and resting clasped hands on the table.

Before Jared could respond, Jensen spoke, “Sir, this is Jared, my… Roommate.” He didn’t know what else to call the kid; they weren’t dating or anything even though it seemed like they should have been.

“Jared,” the Don repeated, like he was tasting a wine on his tongue. "My name is Alan Ackles. Why don't you take a seat?” Jensen sat down smoothly in the left chair and Jared took a bit to finally sit uncomfortably in the one beside him.

“Does he know, Jensen?” Alan said, voice stern, almost threatening.

“Yes, Sir,” Jensen murmured.

“Speak up, boy.”

“Yes, Don. He does know,” Jensen said, almost embarrassed. No one outside of their family was allowed to know unless given permission by the Don.

“I would normally punish you but… It seems you’ve taken him out of harm’s way considering what's going on at the school.”

“Jake offed his friend, Sir,” Jensen provided. “He saw it all.” He turned to look sympathetically at the other. Jared’s eyes were fixated on the ground. Whiskey and cigars. Jensen had been having meetings with his father the entire time. He huffed out a stale laugh, lost in his thoughts. 

“Jared, are you planning on staying or leaving?” Alan asked, eyes trained on the freshman, cold and calculating. The boy’s head perked up and he gulped. 

“Staying,” he said quietly, picking at his fingernails. He knew he wouldn’t do well without Jensen and he might have been next on Jake’s kill list.

“Alright. We have plenty of guest rooms you can stay in. I trust you’ll watch over him, Jensen. I’m not having my men look after Jared.”

“Yes, Don.” Jensen stood and led Jared out of the doors again, only to be pulled into a tight hug by someone entirely different.

“Jensen!” the other male yelled, hugging tight to Jensen.

It was like Jared was seeing double. Was he going insane? 

“Hey, Dean,” Jensen laughed, patting the twin on the back. Jared stood stock-still, shocked.

“This is my brother, Dean,” Jensen introduced, as they walked out of the office. Jared was still in a state of shock, eyebrows drawn together. 

“You… Have a twin?” Jared asked, looking both men up and down.

“Yeah, he does!” Dean exclaimed, pulling away from his brother. “Who’s this?”

“This is Jared. Roommate from Stanford,” Jensen explained, smiling fondly down at the younger male.

“Ahh, so, Alan must’ve told ya’,” Dean murmured, but shook his head and smiled once again, extending a hand. “Dean Ackles, the hotter brother,” he introduced himself with a waggle of his eyebrows. Jared reached out and took his hand to shake it nervously before pulling back. Everything still seemed so surreal. 

“Yeah, right, the hotter brother!” Jensen laughed and shoved the other’s shoulder. “Anyways, man, I gotta get the kid settled in.” Jared glared at his crush.

“M’not a kid,” he grumbled and whined when Dean ruffled his hair, but laughed in the end. 

“Alright, have fun kid and ugly brother,” Dean said and waved to the two before disappearing off into the large house. 

Jensen led the teen to his room for when he stayed at the compound, bags already set beside the bed thanks to a guard bringing them in. The room was huge. Eggshell colored walls, tan carpet, queen-sized bed in the middle with white silk sheets. A minibar at the other end of the room and next to it seemed to be the bathroom. Adjacent to that was a walk-in closet, and next to that were three, tall bookshelves, probably close to 100 books on each. Jared was in awe, full lips parted as he took in the regal bedroom.

“You like it?” Jensen asked, running his palm up and down Jared’s back. 

“Y-Yeah…” Jared whispered, moving away from the older male to run his hand over the soft sheets. “So…”

“Are we staying in the same room?” Jensen finished the question for the freshman

“Yeah.”

“If you want to. I don’t expect you to want to stay with me after everything that has happened.”

“I do,” Jared said quickly, turning back to look adoringly at his crush. “It… It would be nice.” 

“Alright. Well, I need to go talk to my father. You should get settled in. I’ll be back soon.” And with that, Jensen left the room, leaving Jared alone with his thoughts.

\---------

Over the next week, Jensen had been seeing his father more and more, and leaving Jared alone. He had no idea what the older male was doing but he almost didn’t want to know; secret mafia meetings all the time had to mean something bad was going to happen. The younger male padded down the stairs in his pajamas at around two in the morning one night, thirsty, with deep lines embedded themselves into his forehead. Jensen was sitting on a stool, loading a shotgun with ammunition, a rifle already slung around his back. About seven more guards were all bustling about, some cleaning other handguns and what looked like sniper rifles. Jared stood awkwardly in the open space before gathering up the courage to walk up to Jensen.

“What’s going on?” he asked, worry haunting each syllable. Jensen’s hand tensed around the weapon, closing his eyes.

“Go back to bed,” he ordered and looked up at the younger male, lips drawn in a tight line.

“No, I’m not going to. Tell me what’s going on,” Jared pressed, crossing his arms in front of his chest. Jensen sighed and set the large gun down and turned in his seat. 

“Since you’re here now, and a part of this… We’re going to the Abel compound on a raid. I’ll be fine,” he said quickly before going back to his previous objective. Jared’s lips turned downward and he sighed. There was no fighting Jensen on this.

“Just… Be safe. Please,” Jared whispered, placing a gentle hand on the older male’s shoulder before leaving to go to the library they had in the compound, water forgotten. He knew he wouldn’t be able to sleep.

\---------

Jensen was grinding his teeth as his team arrived about three miles out from the Abel estate. Dressed in black with bulletproof vests, they moved with predator-like silence the entire way. Jensen had one goal in mind: kill Jacob. He made Jensen have to tell the poor, innocent Jared about his life when he didn’t want to. He didn’t like how things had gone with the freshman. All eight of the men including Jensen stayed about 500 yards back, snipers trained on the building. Jensen nodded his head one, two, three times, before they all shot the silenced weapons, bullets going straight through the heads of the outside guards, the bodies falling to the ground in bleeding heaps. They advanced upon the house and gunfire began ringing in the air. It was nothing Jensen was used to but he hid behind a wall, sniper slung around his back, shotgun in his steady hands. Trained ears picked up the footsteps coming from his side and he quickly turned and shot his shotgun, the man’s head exploding into bits of bloodied flesh, body falling to the ground with a _thump_ . The horror and gore of the situation didn’t penetrate Jensen's steel exterior around his emotions. 

He made his way into the house, taking out several other enemy guards on his way. 

“God, fuck!” Jensen growled as a bullet grazed his arm and he dove behind an island in the dark kitchen. 

“Hello, Jensen,” the voice practically sung. Jake. Jensen peeked his head out and another bullet was shot, his head whipping to the side to avoid it.

“Hey, fucker,” Jensen returned, silently moving to the other side of the island counter.

“Aw, is that any way to greet an old friend?” Jake teased, two hands clutching the shiny, metal gun in his hands, out in the open like the cocky bastard he was.

“More like an old headache,” Jensen spit, crouch-running to the hallway next to him. It was dark enough that he was certain Jake didn’t see where he went.

“How’s Jared?” Jacob asked, sing-songy voice ripping up Jensen’s patience. He didn’t reply, knowing that would be giving into his enemy. Jensen moved expertly silent throughout the room, keeping an eye on the man stupid enough to be standing in the middle of the room.

“He still as cute as he was last time? God, the ass on that little kitten, whoo! I would’ve taken him any day, any ti—“ 

“Shut the fuck up,” Jensen warned, shotgun barrel against the back of Jacob’s skull. The other man raised his hands up, dropping the gun to the ground.

“Oh, y’got me,” Jake said, mock-sad.

“You won’t ever get a chance to touch Jared, you fuck,” Jensen hissed. The moment Jake made a move to grab the gun Jensen knew he had in the front of his pants, he shot his shotgun. The man fell forward with an extreme force, body slammimg against the glass coffee table, shards shredding his barely intact face, the entire back of his head a puddle of blood and brains. Jensen smiled and felt better than he had in a long time. No one would hurt Jared. 

“Jensen, we got the Don,” an out of breath guard said, jogging up to him.

“Good,” was all Jensen could say before making his way back to the cars.

\---------

Jared was reading, ironically, _The Godfather_ when he heard tires squeal up to the compound. He dropped the book on the comfortable couch he was sitting on and ran downstairs as fast as his tired legs would take him. Several men came in holding up a wounded guard, Jensen trailing behind them. Blood was dribbling out of the older man’s arm and Jared raced over to him. The badly hurt guard was taken to the makeshift infirmary, other guards going back to what Jared assumed to be an armory with big duffle bags full of weapons.

“What the fuck happened, Jen?” Jared practically yelled, breathing picking up. Just the sight of the blood on Jensen scared him, even though it wasn’t even a full bullet hole.

“Nothing, it’s fine,” Jensen said, going to the large bathroom upstairs to get a first aid kit. 

“It’s not nothing, Jensen,” Jared said, following close on the man’s heels. Jensen sat on the toilet, opening up the kit to grab antiseptic, not answering the younger male.

“Ugh, let me,” Jared mumbled, grabbing the first aid kit from him and placing it on the floor in front of the toilet, sitting on the edge of the tub, grabbing the needle and thin thread, antiseptic, and gauze. He poured some antiseptic onto the gauze, wiping gently at the wound before putting the dirtied gauze to the side to begin to stitch the cut together.

“Where did you learn to do that?” Jensen asked, intrigued at how expertly Jared’s hands worked. Jared stopped for a mere second, figuring out what lie to say. He learned first aid after the incident his sophomore year of high school, just in case… But he couldn’t tell Jensen that. He’d want to know what happened.

“Had to take health class in school and they taught us first aid,” the younger male lied, continuing to stitch until it was closed up and he dabbed more antiseptic on the puffy area and wrapped a bandage around the bicep. Jensen knew Jared lied; he was trained to see these things, but he didn’t pay any mind. Jared threw the supplies away and put the first aid kit back to where he saw Jensen pull it out. 

\---------

“Is that guard gonna be okay?” Jared asked after he crawled into bed, the comfortable mattress only helping a tiny bit to ease the tension in his body.

“Don’t know,” Jensen mumbled, getting in beside him, turning off the light. He was exhausted. After the adrenaline wore off, Jensen felt fatigue hit him like a freight train. Jared stayed silent, laying down and turning his back to the other male. Jensen frowned and turned over, wrapping a protective arm around the boy. 

“I’m sorry I worried you,” Jensen whispered, kissing the back of Jared’s head, glad there wasn’t a gaping hole like there was in Jake’s. Jared just grunted but still moved back into the warmth of his crush.

“It’s fine,” Jared assured after a moment but knew Jensen had fallen asleep. Jared closed his own eyes and slept as well, dreaming of a better life with Jensen.


	7. Chapter 7

_"Hey, pretty boy," the voice purred in Jared's ear. He tensed, perspiration beginning to prickle along the back of his neck. He knew the voice but couldn't put a face to it. When he turned around, there was no one there. It was dark and there was no one around; the soccer game had ended and everyone went home. Jared had had to fix some bolts on the bleachers._

_"Stupid coach", Jared had said to himself before he was approached._

_Suddenly he felt his face smashed against the concrete ground, ass in the air. What was going on?_

_"Jensen hasn't fucked you yet, has he?" the voice asked, and Jared felt pressure against his back, like the man was laying on top of it, hot breaths on his neck._

_"No, why do you care?" Jared asked. He tried to sound strong, brave, but it came out as a meek whisper, tremors in his voice noticeable._

_"'Cause I didn't know if I had to break you in yet," the other male growled, flipping Jared over onto his back, knocking the wind out of him as a hand clasped around his neck. He couldn't breathe, he couldn't breathe,_ he couldn't breathe. _The face was still blurry, and Jared began gasping for air, the sound getting lost in his throat. That's when he felt soft but predatory fingertips graze down the front of his shirt and into the waistband of his pajama pants that he happened he be wearing._

_No, no, no, he had to fix the bolts, no he can't be tainted, no, no, no, no!--_

"Jared! Jared, wake up!" Jensen yelled, shaking the teen. He had been gasping for air in his sleep, body flailing, gripping at the sheets, screaming but the sound wheezy, and kicking at nothing. 

Jared's eyes opened in a flash, and he sat up, practically head butting Jensen in the process. He began hyperventilating at that point, tears pooling in his eyes and falling down his face like rivers of fear. He pulled his knees up to his chest and rocked back and forth, chest heaving quickly. 

Jensen put a hesitant arm around him and Jared screeched out of fear, pushing away from the older male and in the process, falling off the bed. He groaned loudly, head hitting the carpet with a thump. He laid in the fetal position, sobbing louder this time. Before Jensen could get up to help him, Dean burst in the room, gun in both hands at his side. 

"What the fuck is going on?" Dean growled, taking in the scene before him. Jared was still crying and Jensen had one leg off of the bed. 

"He... Nightmare," Jensen whispered, voice laced with panic.

"I thought someone was fuckin' dying!" Dean yelled, putting the safety back on the weapon.

"Leave," Jensen commanded, and Dean just sighed.

"Keep him under control. We don't want any accidental deaths," Dean said sternly before he turned and left, shutting the door with a little more force than necessary. Jared was still on the ground but he had quieted down. He was coming back to reality.

Dean.

Twin.

House.

Jensen.

 _Jensen_.

The younger male felt strong arms pull him up into a firm body and the crying began all over again. 

"Jared, baby, tell me what's wrong," Jensen whispered, rubbing at the other's back, hoping to soothe the broken sounds.

"I-I-I d-dre-eamt ab-bout..." Jared trailed off, covering his face with his hands as he continued to cry. 

"You can tell me anything," Jensen said, keeping his voice steady for the panicked male. 

"D-Dir-ty. Won-n't want-t m-me," Jared gasped, body folding in half despite the warm arms around him. 

"No, that's not true, Jared. What happened?" the older male queried. Seeing Jared this mentally cracked made his heart ache. He knew he shouldn't push the question but he _had_ to know. He had a bone deep need to help Jared.

"I... S-Sophom-more y-year of h-i-igh school..." Jared whimpered, gathering the courage to speak about what happened all those years ago, but still in hysterics. "M-My bo-oyfriend at th-the time... W-We were ki-issing after a g-game on the blea-eachers... I... I-I... He..." Jared's cries began softer as he stared at the darkened carpet in front of him. "He raped me," Jared said, his voice barely even a whisper. Jensen's heart sank and he continued to softly rub the younger boy's back. 

"Jared, I'm so sor-"

"When we w-were on the bleachers... He kept touching me... I-In places I didn't want him to... Told him I didn't w-want to go that far yet... He just called me a prude and... Raped me. Right th-there in the open," Jared mumbled, tears still slipping down his cheeks as the older male listened. "He bragged about it t-to his friends... Then sent nasty... I mean just... H-Horrible messages to me through text... I-It was obvious it was over between us... They told the school how I was fucked by everyone o-on the opposing soccer team..." Jared laughed bitterly. "Being at a school in Texas didn't quite h-help how I was treated..."

"I was pushed, made fun of... I..." he laughed again, the sound seeping hatred, "I was even given horrible grades by teachers. It w-wasn't until my parents threatened to sue that i-it stopped. My grades improved, and I got that scholarship but... I was never q-quite the same..." Jared explained, body still in the other's arms as his glossy, hazel eyes stared blankly onto the ground. Jensen had no idea what to say. They sat in silence for a long while before Jensen could come up with something to say. 

"This doesn't change how I feel about you," Jensen whispered, beginning to pet Jared's hair back from his sweaty forehead. The boy looked up at him, eyes hopeful instead of the shattered sadness that was there before. 

"Really...?" he asked, voice cracking. 

"Yes, really. You aren't dirty. You're not... Ruined," Jensen said and continued, "you're still perfect to me. Everything about you draws me in every day. What happened to you will never affect how much I adore you." 

Jared's lips were upturned only slightly, dimples barely showing. He leaned up and slotted his lips against Jensen's, a shaky hand cupping the stubble-covered cheek. Jensen kissed him back lovingly, his large hand covering the boy's, other rubbing up and down his upper arm. Jared felt like a weight had been lifted off of his chest. He had told no one about the rape. His parents only knew that he was getting bullied. No one knew. For the longest time, Jared kept that secret locked in a steel cage in his mind. It was always trying to escape, wreak havoc among his emotions but the wall Jared built in his mind kept it from breaking out.

Jensen broke the kiss only to pick Jared up and place him back on the mattress, crawling in next to him to pull him close once more. 

"I'll always be here. I'll never leave you. I promise."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry I didn't update. I was in a bad place for part of the week and didn't feel like writing out this story. More updates to come. I might vary in between two to three times a week when I post. Again, I apologize for the delayed post. Hope you guys enjoy!


	8. Chapter 8

"Don," Jensen greeted, siting in the leather seat in front of the wooden desk he'd been in front of many times over his life.

"Jensen," the Don greeted back, pouring them whiskey, an aged hand reaching out to hand his son the drink. Alan Ackles, the Don of the Ackles mafia, was growing old, more weary. Gray swirled throughout his hair, deep lines embedded into his rough features. Despite his withering appearance, his green eyes stayed bright and sharp. 

"I need to ask you something, Sir," Jensen said, sipping the fine drink. It burned going down his throat but it soothed his nerves. The Don was silent, cueing Jensen to continue. "I need information on someone. Name's Richard Roman" Jensen said, keeping his voice steady.

 _"Hi, is this Brady?" Jensen asked, one hand holding the cellphone to his ear, the other tracing light fingertips over the sheets on his bed. Jared was out gardening and Jensen thought it would be a great time to get some information._

_"Yes. May I ask who's calling?" the man on the other line said. He had learned that Brady was Jared's only... Sort of friend from his high school years. Jensen figured he might have known who Jared had been dating._

_"I'm Jared's roommate at Stanford. This is an odd question, but do you remember who he was dating in high school sophomore year?" the older male asked, hand stopping its movement in anticipation._

_"Um, yeah, think his name was Richard. Richard Roman, I think. Real dick, honestly. And yes, I know that's a pun. Why, though?" Brady queried; the eyebrow raise was practically audible._

_"No reason," Jensen said then hung up. Good thing he called on one of his disposable cell phones. He'd get a new one later._

"And why would you need me to waste man power on getting information on this man?" Alan asked, his voice cool and professional. 

Jensen sighed and ran a hand through his hair.

"He hurt Jared. Hurt'm bad. He's one of those types of people that shouldn't be on earth," Jensen explained, downing the rest of the alcohol in one go.

Alan pondered on his request, lighting a cigar in the meantime. 

"Alright, I'll get Kevin to look him up and get back to you," the Don said, puffing the smoke back out to the side away from Jensen's face. Jensen smiled and stood, handing the glass back to his father.

"Thank you, Sir," he said, and his father nodded him off. 

\---------

"Why are you so antsy?" Jared asked, trailing a careful finger over the other male's chest. Jensen had been jumpy and weirdly excited all day.

"What do you mean?" the older male asked smoothly, ruffling Jared's hair.

"You've just been... Like... Bouncing off the walls, it seems," Jared explained with a huff of a laugh. "Never seen you like this."

"We'll, it's nothing," Jensen said quickly before slotting his lips against the teen's to distract him.

The moment there was a knock at their bedroom door, Jensen broke their passionate kiss to shoot up from their bed and open it, happy to find Kevin there. 

"I'll be right back, Jay," Jensen assured, smiling his way before stepping out.

\---------

"So, here's the guy. Richard Roman. 19, living in San Antonio with his parents. Works at his father's business about ten miles west of there," Kevin informed Jensen, sliding a Manila folder across the desk in the private study the two were in. 

Jensen was thrumming with excitement as he leafed through the folder. There were multiple pictures of the man and Jensen scoffed. Short brown hair that was slicked back, brown eyes. Tall. He looked like a real douche in most of the pictures. Stupid high-end sunglasses on or shots of him at some fancy restaurant. Jensen was wealthy but he still hated the guy for being one of the rich snobs. There were pictures of him at his father's business, Roman Enterprises. Jensen remembered seeing a plethora of commercials for this man's business. He remembered the big news from when they bought SucroCorp. The papers stated Richard worked in the financial branch of the business. On another sheet of paper, there was a list of his current schedule for that week.

 _MONDAY: 6:30AM - 7:45PM_  
_TUESDAY: 7:15AM-7:00PM_  
_WEDNESDAY: 10:00AM-8:00PM_  
_THURSDAY: 6:30AM-7:45PM_  
_FRIDAY: OFF_  
_SATURDAY: OFF_  
_SUNDAY: 2:00PM-6:00PM_

Jensen smirked at the availability on the Wednesday. Easier to have someone just not come home from work that night.

"Alright, get me a spot on the plane to San Antonio for Wednesday around nine o'clock in the morning. I wanna come home Thursday in the afternoon. Doesn't matter what time," Jensen said, putting the contents back into the Manila folder. 

"You got it," Kevin said with a smile and mock salute. Jensen just rolled his eyes as he walked out. They had their own private airport about ten miles from the compound and were able to land at other private airports with the right amount of money. Jensen could take whatever weapons he needed and wouldn't have to worry about security. 

_Damn, it feels good to be a gangster,_ Jensen thought to himself with a smirk. 

\---------

"Where are you going?" Jared asked, frowning as he watched the older man pack. Jensen's hands stilled on his clothing for a fraction of a second before he packed another shirt. He had his colt pistol and his knife carved from bone in a secret compartment in his suitcase. He liked using them on people he hated most.

"I know we're close, Jay, but I really can't tell you," he said. "Confidential." Jensen knew it really wasn't confidential but he knew Jared would stop him from going. Once he had two pairs of clothing packed and other toiletries--hey, a man needed to brush his teeth even if he was only going to be gone for a day--, he turned to face the younger male. Jared had a pout and puppy eyes that would have even had his father almost reconsider something. Keyword: almost.

"Jared," Jensen groaned, walking over to pull the teen close to him. "I'll be gone a little more than a day at maximum. I promise. When have I ever been wrong about the times I'd get back?" 

Jared sighed and ran a nervous hand through his hair. "Never... But still," he whined, curling his slender fingers into Jensen's black t-shirt. "I'll miss you," he mumbled, leaning up to kiss his crush lovingly. Their lips meshed perfectly like two puzzle pieces together and Jensen thought it was the best thing in the world. Soft, pink lips against his began moving more fervently and for a moment, Jensen wanted to ditch his flight and grind against the teen until they both came in their pants. His cock bulged and he groaned, pulling back to kiss the other on the forehead. 

"I really gotta go," Jensen whispered, running gentle hands through Jared's hair.

"Alright... I lo-" 

"Jensen, the car's waitin' out front. C'mon," Kevin said, leaning against the doorway. Jensen's heart was beating wildly. Did Jared almost say he loved him? He shook his head and sighed, pressing a chaste kiss against the other's lips before taking his suitcase. 

"I'll see you soon, Jay," he said as he walked out of the door, only one thing on his mind at that point. The death of Richard Roman.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had to add that gangster thought. It just seemed so fitting. Hope y'all got a laugh out of it. Also, thank you guys for being so patient with me.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is really graphic! Proceed with caution.

Jensen arrived at the hotel in San Antonio around 11:45. It was hotter than California and he had the A/C on full blast.  
Kevin had texted him the address of an abandoned warehouse that would be perfect for the kill. Jensen made some mob affiliates being over a sleek, black SUV that he could drive instead of renting one; no need for any paperwork. The trunk held more of the supplies he'd need: duct tape, zip ties, plastic sheeting, a bottle of chloroform and a small towel, rubber gloves, wrench, pliers, a pocket sized cauterizer, a pack of razor blades, and a lock-picking kit all nestled neatly in the large space. He paid the other mob members before they drove off and he closed the trunk with a thud.

When he walked back into his room, his phone buzzed in his pocket.

 _Did you get there safe?_ the text read. 

_Of course jay dont worry & dont worry about me being in danger or anything ok?_ Jensen replied back before kicking off his shoes and laying on one of the semi-comfortable hotel beds. Jared's responses were almost immediate.

 _I'm still gonna worry anyway. What are you up to?_

Jensen thought for a moment and laughed at his idea. He put the phone down on his chest--Jared could wait--and he palmed at his clothed dick, eyelids fluttering shut over candy apple eyes. A tall, tan body popped into his mind, curves and dips in all the right places. Big dick hanging low on Jared's thigh, that shy blush painted over his cheeks and chest, moles dotting his honey skin... Jensen groaned and unbuttoned his pants to pull out his half-hard cock. He palmed it quicker as he imagined the scene of Jared on all fours, begging for him. Begging for his cock or his tongue or anything because Jensen had been teasing him in that daydream and the teen was a writhing mess.  
Once Jensen was completely rock solid, he held his cock up at the base with his thumb and index finger before grabbing his phone and snapping a picture. He let his pulsing dick fall against his belly as he sent the picture to Jared with a nice little message.

_Just thinking about you ;)_

It was a minute before Jared replied and his reply was so funny Jensen couldn't stop laughing for what seemed like five minutes straight.

 _DEAN WAS COMING UP TO TALK TO ME RIGHT AS I OPENED THAT PICTURE YOH ASSHOLE WHY DIDN'T YOU WARN ME?!!!!!!_

Jensen had to tease Jared even more and replied back with, _You* I thought you'd know grammar mr lawyer that went to stanford_

The text that popped up on his screen was a picture of Jared's face, flustered as ever with a frown. 

_Gonna hit you when you get home._

Jensen's fingers typed quickly to respond with his snarky comeback.

_Yeah? I'm gonna hit your ass when I get home then. Cranky bitch :P_

_Jerk... I Lovffffgggttttyuiiioikkgsaadfg HI Jensen I just stole jaredggghghh phone hahaha he's trying so hard to take it back. Was that your dick? We're twins but I guess I got the better deal when it comes to dickddfjhhjuwupqpdn'nsh &&-@2kdjenmfkfllaputxjmskal_

Jensen couldn't stop laughing but the first line made a rock settle hard in his stomach. He knew he should be rational but he couldn't stop thinking that Jared was trying to say he loved him. 

_Your brother is a fucking asshat_

Jared ran a hand through his hair and smiled.

_I give you permission to hit him._

_Thanks_  
At that point, Jensen's cock had gone soft and he tucked it back into his jeans. The tiny hotel alarm clock wore the time 2:07 and the man sighed. Another five hours and thirty minutes until he had to be there. Might as well nap. 

\---------

Jensen snorted awake and rubbed his eyes. 7:34. Perfect. He got up and stretched, back popping pleasantly as he sighed. He put on his pair of combat boots, rubber bottoms that were almost as silent as they could be, and tucked his knife and gun into a laptop case as to not alert anyone outside. 

Driving to the office didn't take nearly as much time as Jensen thought it would and he smirked as he saw his surroundings. Not a lot of cars and he blacked out his license plate as he pulled into a spot close but not too close to Richard's car. Porsche. Typical.  
Jensen got out and pulled open the trunk to retrieve the lockpicking kit, chloroform, and towel. He didn't even really need the kit considering he could break into cars with a simple coat hanger, but it was useful. He climbed into the back seat and locked the door back up, lying down on the limited space in the backseat to wait.

Exactly twenty minutes passed before Jensen heard the steps up to the car. As soon as the car door was closed and the asshole was seated himself inside, Jensen took the cloth he poured the drug onto over the other's face. Sure, there was thrashing and grunting, but Jensen held firmly and soon, Richard slipped into unconsciousness. 

\---------

Richard's eyelids opened slowly, the world hazy. He looked around and tried to get up but unfortunately his hands were zip tied together around the back of a rickety chair, feet duct taped to the legs all on top of a big plastic sheet. He tried opening his mouth to scream but his lips were sealed shut by the silver tape. Richard grunted and wiggled but Jensen just settled a vengeful hand onto his shoulder, enough to make the other freeze. 

"Hi, Richard. Dick. I'm gonna call you dick, 'cause, well, that's what ya' are, huh?" Jensen taunted, sauntering over to the front of his captive. He grinned and it wasn't just meant to threaten the guy, but it was genuine. Dick began screaming as much as his closed mouth could let him and Jensen sighed. Way to ruin the moment. He backhanded the other male hard across his cheek. Dick fell silent with a whimper but glared up at Jensen. 

"So, Dick. Remember sophomore year?" Jensen asked as he walked over to a bench, the wood rotted from the time it was neglected. He picked up his knife and held it reverently; almost as if it were Jared. "Remember when you raped that poor kid. What was his name? Jared? Jared Winchester right?" Richard's eyes went wide and his face paled. No one knew; all his friends knew were lies.

"So, ya' see, he's kinda mine now," Jensen said, leaning down to slip the sharp side of the knife down the other's forehead to his eyebrow, only pressing hard enough to draw a tiny bit of blood. He would lose plenty of that later. Richard grunted again and tried head butting Jensen but the mobster was too quick and knocked his fist across his jaw. The audible crack pumped fuel into Jensen's veins. "You know you're gonna die tonight, right?" Jensen purred, tracing his index finger along the fresh forehead wound and sucking on the reddened tip--only for dramatic effect; Jensen wasn't into that vampire shit all the teens were reading about. Dick began screaming again and Jensen just stood straight up and cupped his chin in thought. 

"Should I break your knees or cut your fingers off first? Hm?" The older male walked over to the bench and grabbed the pliers and wrench. "You gotta pick, or I'll do it for you."

Jensen began humming the jeopardy theme songs as he circled around his captive like a shark.

"Ok'y, ok'y!" Richard yelled, chest heaving from how hard he was screaming before. Jensen turned on his heel directly in front of him and grinned. Evil and malicious. Every bit of violence behind it absolutely true.

"F'nger," Richard said, eyes darting rapidly around for an exit. He needed to be able to walk if he wanted to escape.

"Nah, I'm thinkin' knees," Jensen countered smoothly before taking the wrench and slamming it right onto Dick's left knee. A guttural cry came from the other man and tears slipped down the duct tape. Jensen just laughed and swung the wrench against the other knee. "Wow, lemme tell ya', that was just perfect. You lookin' around for a way out. I'm trained to spot that shit, Dick. But..." Jensen circled back around the sobbing man, dropping the wrench in favor of grabbing one of the restrained hands. He ghosted his lips on the side of Richard's ear and chuckled lowly, "do you think this is how Jared felt?" He looked down to take Dick's right index finger and clip the pliers at the start of his fingernail. "Vulnerable?" Slowly, Jensen pulled the nail, stringy skin connecting to the bottom of it as it was pulled off. Richard was screaming again and he was jerking violently in his seat. 

"Helpless?" Jensen let the fingernail drop from the grip of the pliers before slowly ripping another off. 

"Dirty, broken, pained?" Each word was accented by the ripping of a nail. "I could go on and on about how Jared probably felt but... You know. I have work to do."

Richard was screaming out 'I'm sorry's and pleas for Jensen to stop, but all Jensen knew was that Jared was hurt and Dick needed to pay. He took the ridged parts of the pliers and gently scraped at the exposed nail bed of the man's index finger before he positioned it and snapped the tip right off. He took the small cauterizer out of his pocket and began zapping the open wound. He couldn't have him lose too much blood right away. He stood and grabbed his gun, and simply just smiled before placing it to each broken knee cap and shooting. 

"Pl's, j' k'll m'," Richard cried, body wracked with pain. 

"Kill you? No! How could I? We haven't even gotten to the best part." He eyed the man's crotch and grabbed his knife. His captive began thrashing wildly again but Jensen just pushed a finger into the bullet hole in one of his kneecaps to shut him up before zapping the inside of the hole as well to subdue the blood flow. 

"Now, we're gonna get rid of this pesky little thing," Jensen chided as he unzipped Richard's pants and reached in to pull the soft cock out. "You're already cut so, I can cross circumcising out," Jensen said before placing the sharp bone horizontally to the tip of the penis he was holding up. "You won't need this anymore, anyway." With that, Jensen began slicing straight down the middle of Richard's cock. It pained Jensen's dick to see a penis getting cut in half but still, the fact that it was Richard's made it all better. Jensen tuned out the screams as he sawed downward. He worked slowly, taking five minutes just to cut from the slit to the bottom of the head. It took another thirty until he hit the jeans. Two flappy pieces of flesh lay horizontal across the man's lap and he quickly cauterized the separate parts, looking up at a pale Richard. Dean sighed. "Gotta cut these Abercrombie and Bitch jeans off to castrate you," he mumbled, taking his torture casually, like he'd done it thousands of times before.

More like hundreds.

He cut through the material until Dick's groin was completely exposed and he began his work again. Slowly, he flayed off the skin around Richard's testicles, this time, cauterizing as he went. Jensen took his time, sometimes sitting back for a moment to marvel at his work and relax before he had to get started again.

By the time he was done, it was three in the morning and Richard was dead. His feet were cut off, one of his ears severed--hey, it was artwork, why couldn't Jensen be symbolic?--, fleshy bits of testicles on the floor, no eyelids, halved cock, no fingernails, broken knees, intestine hanging from a circular hole in his stomach and some skin with an eyebrow attached thrown to the sticky crimson mat. He wiped his blade and muzzle of his gun on his reddened jeans. Jensen flipped open his disposable phone and dialed Kevin's number to get him to organize a cleanup crew. 

The mobster walked away from the horrific scene and yawned. He deserved a good nights sleep.

\---------

The constant buzzing of his phone made Jensen growl and he slammed his thumb down to answer the call.

"What?" he gritted out. He just wanted more sleep. He'd been out for what? Two hours?

"Jensen, it's fucking five PM, I've been trying to call to ask you when exactly you'd want your flight back," Kevin growled back, sighing loud enough for Jensen to get the point that he was annoyed.

"Five? Fuck, okay, uh, I'll be at the airport in an hour," he said quickly before hanging up and jumping out of bed to shower and change. He couldn't have people seeing the blood that stained his clothes and hands. They'd think he was a monster but he killed one. He was the hero.

\---------

Jensen was clobbered by a six foot man the minute he stepped foot inside the large house. Warm hands rubbed his back and a pair of lips he'd know anywhere pecked at the skin of his neck.

"I missed you," Jared murmured and Jensen laughed, putting down his suit case so he could use both his hands to cup the teen's golden cheeks and kiss him deeply. 

"I missed you, too," Jensen mumbled against the other's lips, smile content.

"How was it?" Jared asked as he pulled back, taking the hands on his cheeks into his own to hold. "Anything exciting?"

Jensen just laughed again.

"Nah. Can't tell you anyway. Secret life of the mob and all," he said, wiggling his eyebrows. Jared scoffed and looked down, slightly embarrassed. The red hue that tinted his cheeks made warmth blossom in Jensen's stomach. He hadn't felt the way he felt about Jared in a long time. 

Jared's brows furrowed and he pulled the older male's hands up, examining the fingers. Crusty blood was still underneath Jensen's short fingernails despite his shower. His heart stopped and he stood still. 

Jared looked back up at him, horror shadowing his bright features.

"Jensen... What did you do?"


	10. Chapter 10

"Jensen... What did you do?"

The words echoed in his mind and he tried to come up with a lie, but he knew Jared was smart. Knew he wouldn't believe it.

"We'll talk about this in the bedroom," Jensen said sternly, beginning to walk away to their shared room, knowing the younger male would follow. After Jared entered, Jensen closed and locked the double doors. The other had his hands crossed in front of his chest, face darkened with slight fear and anger. 

"I'm not a good person," Jensen started off, "I'm horrible, actually. But, you know who's worse?"

The silence was enough for him to continue.

"Richard. Richard the dick Roman." 

Jared's eyes widened with disbelief and he covered his mouth. Did Jensen really...? Did he...? 

"Did you kill him?" Jared asked once he moved his palm away, body rigid with tension.

"Yes." There was no point in lying. What else could he have said? Blood under his fingernails, bringing up Richard. It was obvious.

"What the fuck, Jensen?" Jared said, voice a little louder and a little more aggravated than Jensen would have expected. "You realize how crushed his family is going to be?"

Typical Jared. Caring about other people no matter how evil.

"He fucking _raped_ you, Jared! Bastard didn't deserve to live a second longer than he did. I did the world a favor," Jensen argued, jaw grinding his teeth together. He didn't like his motives being questioned.

"Sure, he fuckin' hurt me, but you could have just... Had him thrown in jail! I bet the mafia could fuckin' do that," Jared spat, hands now at his sides, fists clenching and unclenching. 

"You realize how dumb that would be? He was a part of the richest family in the entire West Coast. He could have bought his way back out despite my orders," Jensen explained, anger beginning to seep into his words. "Why do you care so much? He was a fucking disgrace. You want him to rape other people, huh?" Jensen began yelling, stalking forward. Jared held his ground and shoved Jensen backward when he got close enough.

"At least he doesn't fucking _kill people_!" Jared countered and before he knew it, his back was slammed against the wall, a hand around his neck.

"Don't fucking question me. I did what was best," Jensen hissed, face as close as it could get to Jared's without touching. The boy's eyes were wide, but he didn't say anything. "You gonna ask anymore questions you're not gonna like the answers to, boy?" Jensen asked, green eyes scanning over the sharp features and finally landing on the younger male's plush lips. 

"N-No, Sir..." Jared whispered, voice coated with lust. Sir? Where the fuck did that come from? Jensen was just as surprised with the turn of events and he smirked.

"You like it when I take control, huh?" Jensen purred, hand tightening just slightly around his neck. A quick nod was all Jared could muster and before their lips could smash together, a knock sounded.

"Oh, what the fuck! Go away!" Jensen roared. They kept getting interrupted every single time something got heated.

"Don wants you," the guard said behind the door. Jensen's hand slowly slipped from Jared's neck and he sighed. "I'm sorry," he apologized, pressing a chaste kiss to the younger male's lips before leaving Jared confused and turned on against the wall of their bedroom.

\---------

"How did it go?" the Don asked, one greying eyebrow raised upwards in curiosity as he smoked his Cuban cigar.

"Good, Sir. Took me a while to get my ultimate revenge and it was cleaned up quickly afterwards," he explained, sitting up straight and sipping at the drink his father gave him.

"I'm glad it went smoothly. I wanted to let you know I'm proud of you for taking initiative," Alan said, voice smooth but at the same time gravelly from his years of smoking. Jensen tried to fight down the smile that threatened his features but couldn't.

"Thank you, Don," Jensen said.

"That's why I'm thinking of putting you in charge sooner than you expected. I do not know when, but be ready when the time comes. Being the Don is a responsibility big enough to take down even the strongest willed men," the older male explained, putting out his half finished cigar in the ashtray. "Will you be ready then?" 

"Yes, Don. Thank you so much, Don," Jensen smoothly said but inside, he was jumping up and down like a little kid who got their way.

\---------

"Never thought you'd be the romantic type," Jared murmured against his wine glass, a slight smirk tilting his plush lips.

Jensen had told Jared the good news and planned a romantic night out. He walked him outside; the house was secluded and there weren't many lights around which made the usually plain, black night come alive. It was painted with flurries of stars and constellations. The picnic blanket, food, and wine was set up right next to the spectacular garden. Vibrant colors popped out at them no matter how dark it was. 

"Mmm, I've got some tricks up my sleeve. Just save 'em for the right people," Jensen chuckled, leaning forward to press gentle, warm kisses along the teen's jawline.

Jared hummed happily and tilted his head to allow Jensen more room to his neck and he set the glass down. When the kisses stopped, the younger male grunted in disapproval but opened his eyes to take in the sight of his quiet crush. It was harder to make out the freckles on his face in the dark but his emerald eyes still glistened, seemingly brighter than the stars. Jared smiled and placed his large hand over Jensen's, biting at his lip. 

"Will you be my boyfriend?" Jensen blurted. Jared's lips parted and he didn't even know what to say. He had actually, literally, dreamed about Jensen asking him to be his boyfriend and all he could do now was squeak out a happy "yes" before throwing himself on the older man to tightly hug his warm body. 

"Fuckin' finally," Jared laughed, their bodies tangled together on the large blanket, wine and food forgotten.

"What?" Jensen asked, eyebrow cocking in amusement.

"Took you long enough to ask me. My heart was gettin' blue balls," the younger male laughed, planting loving kisses against the hollow of Jensen's throat. Jensen laughed as well, running a gentle hand through the long strands of hair on the boy's head. The tension from their fight before was eased after the exciting news and Jared apologized about six times for his outburst before Jensen told him to stop. He understood Jared's anger. He was just caught up in the heat of the moment and his ego got in the way of being calm. 

Jared tilted his head up to capture the older man's lips, kissing passionately but slowly, taking all the time in the world to taste Jensen. Wine coated both of their tongues and they twirled them together, exploring each other's mouths. A slow hand made its way up Jensen's chest and back down again, a different hand rubbing along the small of Jared's back. After some time, the kiss became more heated, more urgent. Teeth knocked together as they kissed fervently, Jared beginning to hump against Jensen. The two groaned in unison and suddenly Jared stopped his kissing and grinding.

"I want you," he panted, a hand cupping Jensen's bulging crotch. "Please..." he whispered, biting his kiss-swollen lips.

How could Jensen say no to that face? 

He flipped them over, Jared's back against the soft blanket, Jensen looming over him. The older male's lips suckled at the golden skin of Jared's neck as his hands began unbuttoning the younger male's pants. He only pulled back to tug them off along with every article of clothing each had left on. Naked as the day they were born under a brilliant night sky, lips crashed together and hands wandered over miles of toned skin. 

"Not gonna hurt you," Jensen whispered in the teens ear as he grabbed at the lube he put in the basket--couldn't blame him for thinking ahead--and coated a single finger generously with lubricant. "Not gonna hurt you," he repeated as he slipped the digit inside of Jared. He knew how much it meant to his now-boyfriend for him to say that as they fooled around. It gave Jared a sense of security. Soon, a second finger joined and wiggled inside Jared's tight heat, crooking to find that perfect spot inside Jared that hadn't been touched ever before--even during his rape. 

"Oh, f-fuck! What... What was that?" Jared gasped, back arching up off the ground. A low chuckle emitted from Jensen's throat as he sat back on his heels to enjoy the view of the lanky teen spread out in front of him.

"Your prostate," Jensen cooed, making sure to curl his fingers with every inward stroke.

"Oh, God, please... Don't stop!" Jared cried, body writhing. Large hands grasped at the blanket, his moans the only sound filling the air.

"Need you, need you, Jensen, please, need you," Jared whined, ass pushing back against the fingers inside of him.

"Okay, okay," Jensen assured as he massaged Jared's warm insides with three fingers, taking a little less time fingering him before he positioned himself over Jared, keeping his lips close to the male's ear. 

"Not gonna hurt you, never gonna hurt you," Jensen whispered, voice husky as he sat back to roll on a condom, then slowly guided his cock into Jared's puckered hole. The younger male's face contorted into a thing of slight pain and Jensen took his time entering, continuing his reassuring mantra of words. Once he was fully seated inside of Jared, he wrapped his strong hand around the other's dick, stroking to get him to relax some. He experimentally began thrusting, Jared's moans after a minute encouraged him to go a bit faster and it quickly became an almost brutal pace. Jared was keening with pleasure, back arching every time his prostate was rubbed against with Jensen's fat head.

"God, fuck me!" Jared cried, arms wrapping around the older male's middle, fingernails scratching red stripes into his back. This only spurred Jensen on more and he quickened the pace with his hand.

"Gonna come for me, Jay?" he growled into his ear, his own end coming close as heat coiled in his belly. 

"Yes! Yes, Jensen! Fuck!" Jared yelled, a continuous stream of mewls, whimpers, and groans slipping from his parted lips as his warm cum shot all over his chest, Jensen slamming inside him only a few more times before coming as well, thrusts paced unevenly as cream spurted into the condom. "Fuck! I love you! I love you!" Jared whined as he rode out his orgasm. His cheat was heaving from how intense their love-making was and he his body soon melted into the blanket tiredly. 

Jensen, on the other hand, was frozen. Jared's "I love you" replayed in his mind over and over. He couldn't deal with that. No. No way. Love. He... He couldn't allow himself to be loved or love anyone else for the longest time out of the fear of hurting them. 

He pulled out, tied off the condom, and quickly put his clothes back on in record time.

"I'm gonna put these away," Jensen said almost too fast and gathered their picnic things up and almost ran back to the compound. Jared was still on his back, heart in his stomach from the obvious rejection. He sat up slowly and wiped the drying cum off of his chest with the picnic blanket before slowly getting dressed and slinking back inside. The bedroom was deserted and Jared stripped off his clothes to put on his pajamas, body numb to what had happened. The numbness was instantly replaced with heart-wrenching sadness once he laid down in the large, empty bed. Tears coated his cheeks and he sobbed into the pillow. How could he have been so stupid as to say "I love you" after only having known Jensen for a month. He couldn't help it. He loved Jensen with every fiber of his being and Jensen didn't love him back.


	11. Chapter 11

The two were walking on eggshells. Jared tried speaking to Jensen but only got clipped responses back. Jensen still hadn't come back to sleep in the same bed with Jared at night and the pillow underneath the teen's head became wet every time he crawled under the covers to lay down for the night.

After a week, Jared decided to just apologize to Jensen. He wandered throughout the large house until he saw the familiar figure in front of the bookshelf in the library, fingers roaming over weathered spines. Jared went up to wrap his arms around the middle of his boyfriend, peppering kisses on his back. He smelled like cigarettes and car grease; it was different but he liked it.

"Jen... I'm so sorry... I didn't mean to say that, i-it was just in the heat of the moment... Please... Give me another chance," he whispered, one hand traveling down the man's torso, sliding slowly into his pants to grip his member lightly, lovingly stroking the cock that had been buried inside him just three nights prior. Jensen was just about to move to get out of Jared's grasp before a presence made itself known in the doorway.

"Jared, what the fuck!" a familiar voice yelled. Jared turned and his eyes widened. 

"J-Jensen?" Jared squeaked, pulling his hands away from what had to be Dean like his skin was hot lava that was burning Jared to the bone.

"So you decide to fuckin' go after my fucking _twin_ because I was taking time to process the shit you told me? Really, Jared? Thought you _loved me_ ," he growled, punching the door before leaving just as quickly as he entered.

Jared had physically shrunken in on himself, chest tight. It felt like Jensen's fist had hit him instead of the door. He couldn't breathe. He... He didn't mean to touch Dean. 

"I'm gonna talk to him," Dean whispered, cheeks flushed with embarrassment. He was going to push Jared away but didn't have enough time to before his twin came in the room. Jared didn't even nod, just backed up until the backs of knees hit the couch and he collapsed upon it. He was paralyzed. Jared didn't mean to do that. Why couldn't Jensen realize that? He didn't mean to! The boy barely felt the tears fall and soon he was curled up in the fetal position, his sobs coming out like knives scraping his throat.

\---------

"Jensen, man," Dean began, reaching out to touch his brother's shoulder, trying to pull him back. Jensen jerked away from the touch and turned, body tense, face red. 

"You fucking asshole. You know I wanted something special to come of that shit and you fuckin' let him touch you!" Jensen yelled, spit flying from his mouth from how angry he was

"I was about to pull away! Jesus, I'm straight, Jen! I don't want that shit! And you're my brother, man, I wouldn't do that to you!" Dean retorted, glaring. "Listen to me, you angry fucking beast. Jared loves the fuckin' hell out of you. You told me he said "I love you" and you know what he fucking said to me? He told me he was sorry! The kid would rather apologize for loving you than stick to what he feels because he didn't want you to be mad! Calm the fuck down and go talk to him! I know how much he means to you and you need to get over yourself and get ready to love again because you fucking love him and you know it," Dean spat, taking in gulps of air. Jensen was frozen where he was standing, face now something more like absolute terror. What had he done? Dean was right, Jensen did love the kid... He just wasn't ready to say it back, but that didn't mean he should have ignored him only to later scream at him for making a mistake. He didn't say anything as he ran out of the room and back to the library. There, a crumpled mess of a human was lying on the couch, sounding like he was being choked. Breath wasn't coming easily to Jared and his arms were wrapped defensively around his abdomen, knees pulled up, rocking as much as he could in his laying position.

Jensen went running up and his heart broke when he heard Jared speak.

"Pl-lease... P-Pl-ease... Do-on't h-hurt m-me-e," the teen cried, trying to hug himself tighter than he already was. "D-Didn-n't me-ean t-to! I-I'm s-sor-ry..." 

Jensen sat beside the boy and pulled him up and close, holding him like his life depended on it. The fearful yelp that slipped past Jared's lips broke Jensen.

"Shh... Not gonna hurt you, remember? Nothing to be sorry for, Jared. Shh... You're okay, you're okay. Not mad, not gonna hurt you. I'm so sorry," he whispered, baritone voice trying to be calming. Jared just kept sobbing but buried his face into the older male's chest despite his fear. 

\---------

The tension between them melted within two days; Jensen showed Jared he was sorry in every way he could. Flowers, chocolate, cooking for him, anything he could do. Jared couldn't stay afraid of the man he fell in love with and he soon became his normal self. The fight would always be in the back of his mind but he tried to shove it back into the box that his rape was in. 

"Jen?" Jared whispered in the darkness, arms wrapped around his boyfriend in bed, the two ready for sleep.

"Yeah?" a gravelly, tired voice responded.

"Tomorrow, can you teach me to shoot?" the boy asked hesitantly. "I need to learn how to defend myself."

"Uh... Alright, Jared. Tomorrow we can," Jensen murmured, obviously not processing his boyfriend's request before falling back asleep.

Jared would remind him tomorrow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry it took me so long to update and I'm sorry this is such a short chapter. I've had a really rough time these past weeks and haven't felt like writing. There is a new story that I will be posting two or three times a week since it's already fully written (my partner and I had worked on it and hadn't lost any of it so I won't have to rewrite anything). It's an a/b/o fic and I dunno if y'all will like it, but it's something to hold you guys over until I post another chapter of this :P. I only have to write a little bit more before I can copy/paste from the prewritten story of You're My Weak Spot from where it wasn't cut off if that makes sense. So, I think after chapter 12, I will be able to post this story more often. Thanks for being so understanding, all of you. The support is greatly appreciated.


	12. Chapter 12

“Hold it like this,” Jensen said, wrapping his hands around Jared’s to mold him how he should hold the gun. Jared had reminded Jensen the next day… Multiple times. The man didn’t want to teach Jared how to shoot, something about protecting his innocence. Jared called him on his bullshit and eventually Jensen took him to the gun range about a mile out from the compound. It was a basic concrete building, the insides soundproof. 

“Okay,” Jared murmured, holding the gun like Jensen showed, and the older male slipping his hands down from Jared’s and down his sides, holding his hips. 

“Remember the breathing I taught you,” Jensen reminded, giving an encouraging squeeze to the teen’s hips. Jared nodded and aimed at the target on the wall after putting the big headphones on, and willed himself to be calm.

Breathe in.

Hold.

Shoot.

Out.

Jared opened his eyes—when had they closed?—and looked at the target. The outline of the man had a hole in the left shoulder. 

“Good job, Jared,” Jensen praised after taking the headphones off of his boyfriend. Jared grumbled and felt his cheeks flush. He didn’t think he did very well, but Jensen’s approval made his stomach flood with warmth. 

“You gonna show me the right way to do it by yourself?” the boy asked, handing the gun over to Jensen. The older male nodded and took the gun from Jared’s outreached hand and aimed. Jared barely had time to put the headphones back on before Jensen began shooting. Each bullet entered the outlined head, Jared’s eyes widening. He was a really good shot. The other lowered the gun and grinned at the other. Jared took off his headphones and he bit his lip. A flurry of heat spiraled in his groin and he moved a little closer.

“You… Y’think you could still get some headshots while you fuck me?” Jared purred. Seeing his boyfriend shoot so casually and so _well_ turned him on more than he thought.

“Mmm, now I’m curious if I can,” Jensen chuckled right back, putting the gun down to grasp at Jared’s slim hips and grind slowly against the other. “I’m up for a challenge.”

“Then I challenge you to fuck me as hard as you can and shoot the head of the target,” Jared moaned softly, the slow friction not enough. He needed more, so much more. As if Jensen read his mind, a large hand slipped into the boy’s pants and began rubbing hard up and down his hardening length. The hand sped up and Jared began panting softly, arms slipping around his boyfriend’s neck. Jared whined lowly, precome smearing on the inside of his boxers as Jensen gripped his member through the fabric. 

"F-Fuck me," he managed to whisper, eyes half-lidded. "Hard, please," Jared whimpered, hand palming the front of Jensen's jeans roughly. He just wanted more and more of Jensen inside him ever since their first time.

Jensen fumbled with his own pants, eager to get on with it, releasing his dripping cock and then moving to practically rip Jared's jeans off. His hands slid to Jared's ass, palming it and lifting him so Jared's legs could wrap around Jensen's waist. He leaned against the concrete stall wall so he could hold Jared easier.

"God, nngh," Jared whined, trying to grind back onto his dick, no lube, no prep. He wanted it hard and dirty and he didn't care if it hurt after; it would be Jensen's doing and it would only make him feel better about it. "Please, fuck me, Jen..."

Jensen groaned into Jared's neck, 

"Baby, I don't want to hurt you..." He licked his fingers and rubbed Jared's entrance, cursing himself for the lack of lube. "Fuck, Jay, you drive me crazy," he purred against his boyfriend's neck.

"Do it, plea-ease, I trust you," Jared groaned, sinking himself down onto the two fingers, eager for something inside of his hole. It felt like his body was on fire and he just needed Jensen. It wasn't a want anymore; it was a need. " _Fuck me_ ," Jared grunted, riding the fingers like his life depended on it.

Jensen moaned and pulled his fingers out, instead pressing the tip of his cock to the tight hole. 

Jared had opened up to him over the past months they had known each other and even that was a turn on to Jensen, even though shy Jared was pretty hot as well. The fact that he was there, so willing, so fucking _needy_ , got Jensen’s blood pumping faster in his veins

"Fuck, baby, you're so fucking amazing." He switched their position and put Jared’s back to the wall instead. He pushed into his boyfriend, biting down on his lip to keep from biting Jared. All he wanted to do was pound Jared until his body was indented in the wall. 

Jared yelped and winced but melted into the pain of Jensen stretching his snug hole and he moaned continuously as he rocked himself back down onto the thick shaft, own cock bobbing hard against his red shirt, staining the Stanford logo with sticky precome.

Jensen groaned, the sound animalistic, and started thrusting into his boyfriend, one hand on his ass and the other grabbing the gun. 

"Still on for that challenge?" Jensen grunted through his pleasured thrusts.

"Fuck yeah," Jared growled, nodding his head before burying his face into the crook of Jensen's neck, lapping against a pulsing vein, sucking gently. "Do it, Don, fuck me and shoot the gun just like how you’re gonna shoot your cum in me," he teased, cock pulsing at his own words. Jared had never been much of a talker at all even before sophomore year and hearing such immoral words spill from his lips had a rose hue crossing over his cheeks and ears. He loved calling Jensen "Don". He was the heir to the Ackles' mafia throne and just the fact that he almost had such power drove Jared crazy with lust when the two got frisky.

Jensen began thrusting harder and nailing the younger's prostate and with every other thrust, Jensen started shooting, hitting the head of the paper each time.

The teen cried out loudly, hiccupping pleasured little noises as the soft bundle of nerves was ravaged. His head flew back and he saw stars, whole body trembling as he came just from Jensen's cock alone, hole clenching tightly and sinfully hot around the fat dick inside him while the gunshots echoed in his ears. It was so hot to Jared that Jensen could shoot straight and still fuck the living hell out of him.

Jensen groaned and fucked Jared through his own orgasm, cream flooding Jared’s thoroughly fucked hole, before tossing the gun to the side and holding Jared flush against him. 

"Fuck, Jared, you're so tight, wish I could fuck you all day, baby. So fucking perfect." He sucked a hickey into Jared's neck, wanting to leave a possessive mark on his boyfriend. His. Forever. No matter what.

Jared whined prettily, cock falling and twitching against his thigh, hole still wrapped tight around Jensen's dick.

"Gonna keep your cum in me all day, Don," Jared murmured, unsure of how he would, body starting to go a tad limp in the arms of his lover.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've finally rewritten alllll of the missing part of the story and updates will be coming more frequently!!!!


	13. Chapter 13

Weeks passed and Jensen was closer to saying the words. He and Jared made love almost daily and when they weren't doing that, they were spending time doing something else, or Jared was in school. Jensen just... Really cared about Jared. More than he wanted to but at that point, it didn’t matter. He knew he was in too deep as he stepped into their— _their_ —apartment.

Jared heard the front door to the small apartment open but didn't care as he vomited the rest of the previous night’s Chinese dinner and that morning's coffee. They both decided to start school back up and Jensen had rented them a quaint little flat outside the Stanford campus. It was nice having their own place; they could get as loud as they wanted or they could cherish the silence at night without having any direct neighbors bother them. Jared wiped at his mouth and tried getting up until he felt another wave of nausea hit him like a truck and he puked again, grasping at the sides of the porcelain toilet as thin bile dripped into the toilet. He had already vomited most of what he had eaten and now it was practically dry heaving. Jared was in pain and hated everything.

Jensen heard the retching and ran to the bathroom where his boyfriend was and immediately got on his knees holding Jared's hair out of the way and rubbing his back. 

"Shit, Jay, what did you eat?" he asked, concern heavying his voice like lead.

Jared leaned back on his heels to close the lid and flush the toilet. 

"Water, please," Jared rasped, clearing his throat a few times. After Jensen had brought the water that Jared gratefully took and swallowed down, he sat against the wall of the bathroom and sighed. "I have no idea, Jen," Jared answered the previous question, tracing the lines of the cup. "I've been feeling gross for a couple days now. Almost every morning," Jared began, "and do _not_ beat yourself up for not being here. You and I both didn't know I was gonna get sick, and your family business is important." Jensen had been away at the compound for a few days, leaving Jared to study and do school-related stuff on his own for the days he was gone.

Jensen ran a hand over his face and sighed. 

"I should've been here for you anyway," the older male grumbled. He picked up his sick boyfriend and carried him to bed, being careful not to shake him too much. "I'm gonna get some ginger ale for you."

"No, no, no, don't blame yourself and just stay with me alright?" Jared said, voice slightly agitated. He didn't know why he was so angry all of a sudden; his emotions had been running rampant for that entire week. Jared felt that it was because he just wasn't getting enough sleep because of school. "Sorry," he mumbled, and when they got in the bed, he kicked off his pajama pants, body still hot from the exertion of puking. "How was the meeting?”

Jensen pinched the bridge of his nose in order to stay calm. He was too stressed to deal with Jared's weird mood swings. 

"It was fine. I'm not going to leave, alright?" Jensen said and closed his eyes, not falling asleep but wanting to relax.

Jared nodded, laying by his side, tracing his index finger across Jensen's toned abdomen, making little hearts and smiley faces.

"I love you," Jared tried, peeking up at Jensen through messy bangs; he really needed a haircut. Jared was getting restless, constantly saying I love you and trying to prove it to Jensen to get him to say it back. 

Jensen tensed under Jared's touch and looked at his hopeful boyfriend. 

"Jay..." He felt it, he knew he did, but it was hard to say the words. Every time he tried, his tongue felt heavy. "I care about you too, I promise,” he said.

Jared huffed out a little grunt, continuing the small patterns across his chest. Absentmindedly, Jared checked his phone and gaped at the time. 

"Fuck, I'm supposed to go meet Jess and Brady for breakfast," Jared said quickly, hopping up onto unsteady feet to get dressed and brush his teeth because of his earlier vomiting session. It was getting chilly outside so Jared grabbed Jensen's leather jacket that they both loved and slipped it on before grabbing the second pair of car keys and his wallet. "I'll be back," Jared said, half-running over to peck Jensen on the lips before leaving to go to the restaurant.

\---------

“Yeah, I've been pretty well besides stupid finals," Jess said, mouth full around syrupy pancakes. "What about you, Jay?" the blonde girl asked, smiling happily at her best friend. Chad, Jess, and Jared all met in their second semester math class. They became quick friends and Jared spent whatever time he wasn’t with Jensen or studying with them.

"I don't know, I've been kinda sick, lately," Jared replied, and not even a second later Chad was spraying invisible disinfectant around Jared and covering his mouth. 

"Do we have to quarantine you?" he asked, voice muffled by the intrusive hand. 

Jared laughed heartily, flicking a grape at him. They were at some mom and pop diner on the other side of town and Jared couldn't help but feel a little loose and normal there. Everything was cozy and homemade and his friends' company was helping him relax.

"No, you ass, I just... I dunno, I've been super on edge lately, like, really irritated, and I've been puking every morning for the past three days," Jared explained, biting at his French toast. He almost choked when the words left Jess's mouth.

"Maybe you're pregnant, Jay!" Jess exclaimed in mock-excitement, laughing along with Chad. 

Jared paled and thought back to the first night him and Jensen made love; it was about one month prior. It lined up. 

"I-I gotta go," Jared mumbled, fumbling for his keys and throwing down a $20 bill for his meal. Without any other words, he made his way to the local drugstore to buy every kind of test they had.


	14. Chapter 14

Jensen started making a soup that his mother always made for him and Dean whenever they were sick. He was immensely guilty about not being able to express his love, so he wanted to show Jared how much he meant to him in a way that didn't use words. He just hoped Jared didn't puke it up immediately. 

He also had a maid come in and clean the bathroom so it was sanitized just in case Jared was contagious. When he thought of what else he could do for his boyfriend, he piled up movies in front of their TV, all of their favorites in a neat stack for Jared to pick from. Yeah, Jensen was a smooth fucker.

Jared walked into the house with a bag from Walgreens and didn't pay any attention to the things Jensen did and went straight to the bathroom to use one of the twenty tests he bought. The younger male stayed in the bathroom for the three minutes it took to come out with the answer on one of the sticks. 

Positive.

It was positive.

It was only one test though, right? Maybe his hormones were off. Hiding the bag under the sink and making sure the test was on the bottom of the trash can, Jared finally went back out and the smell hit him. Saliva started pooling in his mouth and he smiled. It smelled absolutely wonderful. 

"What did you make?" Jared asked his boyfriend, pretending the weird way he acted didn't happen at all. The boy wrapped his arms around the middle of Jensen, placing gentle, timid kisses against his back. Jared was shaking and pale from fear but he knew Jensen might blow it off as him being sick. 

Jared would need to drink a ton of water to be able to take the other nineteen tests he purchased. 

\---------

"So thirsty," Jared mumbled after his fourth glass of water. They were watching a cheesy romance movie, but Jared's mind was elsewhere. He had gone to the bathroom twice in the past hour and each test was positive after that. He devoured the soup Jensen made, though, and thoroughly appreciated the gesture. "Love you," Jared whispered, cuddled up to the older man on their suede couch.

Jensen rubbed Jared's stomach, unaware of what was growing inside of it. 

"Are you alright? You've been going to the bathroom a lot. Maybe we should take you to a doctor," he suggested with a frown. Jared was usually never that jumpy or going to the bathroom that much. Jensen was pretty sure that was a bad thing. Wasn't urinating a lot a sign of prostate cancer? Jensen paled at the thought. "I think doctor is a definite."

"No!" Jared said a little too quickly, cheeks heating up out of embarrassment. "I just... I've been drinking a lot of water, that's all," Jared said and got up to get his fifth glass. "You know, liquids will make y’pee," Jared teased lamely, downing the entire cup of water in one go and pouring more before going to sit next to his boyfriend again. "I promise, I'm okay. I need the water anyway with how much I've been puking," Jared added, biting on his bottom lip, a habit that got rarer the more he spent time with Jensen, but it was happening more than usual because of the stress.

Jensen frowned and shook his head. 

"Jay, you're puking a lot. You should go to the doctor anyway. I'll take you," he assured. He didn't know if Jared was afraid of doctors or not, but he would be there if something happened.

Jared whined but Jensen shushed him and he just pouted. He knew the doctor would most likely know the reason behind his illness and he didn't want Jensen to be there in the room when it was confirmed. 

"I can go myself, it's fine, I just... I dunno. I think it's just the flu," Jared stated, hand going to his stomach, eyes sadly looking down at it. If Jensen couldn't even say I love you, what were the chances he'd love or even want the child? "Gotta pee," Jared mumbled, going to the bathroom to take another test. One after another, they were all positive. Tears stung in his eyes and he threw the plastic stick against the wall and began silently crying. "I'm so fucked..." Jared whispered to his stomach, already feeling a maternal love toward the probably peanut-sized human growing inside of him.

Jensen sighed and got up from the couch. 

"Jay?" he called out, walking over to the bathroom and knocked. "You gotta talk to me, baby. What's wrong?" When he got no answer he decided to go into the kitchen to gather the ingredients for an ice cream sundae. It had always cheered Jared up, whether it be from a panic attack about midterms to a nightmare so vivid that it left Jared in tears minutes after he had woken up, so he was hoping it would do the trick. Something was off with his boyfriend and Jensen wanted to know what.

Jared just sighed and dabbed at his eyes with toilet paper and washed his face before leaving the bathroom. He had no idea if he was going to tell Jensen or not. The ice cream sundaes made him grin and tear up again, but not from sadness, from pure love. 

"God, Jen, you've done so much for me today, thank you," he whimpered, flinging himself to hug his boyfriend tightly.

Jensen hugged his boyfriend and rubbed his back, trying to figure out why the hell he was so moody. 

"I'm going to schedule an appointment for tomorrow, alright?" He wanted Jared to at least get looked at, if it was the flu then Jensen could rest easy. God forbid it was something life threatening though.

Jared tried to even out his breathing and nodded, wiping at his red eyes. 

"Okay..." Jared whispered, eyeing the sundae like a kid. After pulling away from Jensen, one of the hardest things to do in his life, he dug into the ice cream and tried to savor every last bit of it. 

\---------

Jared was ushered into the sterile room after continuously telling Jensen he'd be fine and he needed to do it on his own. 

_”I'm an adult, Jen."_

_“Alright, alright, fine.”_

The nurse who took his blood pressure and temperature was a thin brunette with full lips and a nice figure. If Jared wasn't completely gay and _completely_ in love with Jensen, he'd probably ask for her number. 

"Okay, Doctor Pellegrino will be in to see you shortly," the nurse said cheerfully before bouncing on her heels and walking out. It seemed like days before the doctor came into the confined room. Jared had been sitting on the bench, kicking his legs and thinking of every possible thing that could go wrong if Jensen found out. 

"Hi, Jared, I'm--" 

The doctor could barely get a word out before Jared said in one quick breath, "I'm pregnant but please don't tell my boyfriend."

The man raised his brow curiously, a small chuckle slipping past pale, thin lips. 

"Okay, well, let's start with how you feel," Dr. Pellegrino said, hopping up into the counter in a casual way, elbows resting on his knees, hands cupping his jaw. 

Jared felt awkward as the doctor waited for his answer in the weird, unprofessional position and the boy let out a shaky breath. 

"Well, it's been about a month since the first time him and I... Um.... Yeah… And I've been getting really tired really easily, mood swings, morning sickness... I took about three or four tests and they all said I was positive for being pregnant," Jared explained, looking at the doctor's face cautiously. 

The man straightened up and looked at the file next to him before looking back at Jared.

"Family got any history of ulcers?" Dr. Pellegrino asked. 

"Wh—What? No, Doctor, I—"

"How about a weak immune system?" 

"What? I—"

"I'm trying to figure out a possible excuse so your so-called boyfriend doesn't freak out. You have a family history of a weak immune system, _right_?" Doctor Pellegrino said, leaning forward expectantly. 

"Yes," Jared whispered quietly and bit his lip. 

"Okay, well, on file we're going to put you as possibly pregnant and I'm going to give you the number to the local gynecologist so they can make sure you actually are," the doctor said as he scribbled a prescription of sugar pills with some long name down and handed it to Jared before hopping off the counter to grab a business card from a small stack to hand to him as well.

"Give them a call, they'll take good care of ya'," Dr. Pellegrino said and with a pat on the back, he left the room. 

Jared put the card into the pocket of the hoodie he was wearing and left the room to find Jensen. When he reconnected with his boyfriend and both were walking out, Jared retold Jensen the "family has a weak immune system" speech and hoped he couldn't see right through him.

Jensen raised an eyebrow but kept his mouth shut. He knew Jared wasn’t giving him the whole story but figured a public doctor's office wasn't the best place to ask his boyfriend. 

"Alright, baby, let's go home,” he said and opened the car door for him. The car ride back to the apartment was awkward and filled with the low hum of some classic rock radio station. Jared stared out of the window the entire time and Jensen’s eyes flitted anxiously between Jared and the wide highway in front of him. When they arrived at home, Jensen walked Jared to their bedroom before sitting on the edge of the large bed. 

"We need to talk," he announced.

Jared froze, hand clenching in the sheet. 

"W-What about?" Jared asked, trying to hide his fear. Oh, _God_ , did he know? Did that stupid fucking doctor tell him? Jared's heart sped up and began hammering against his rib cage. He'd probably have to ask his parents for money for a dorm and some kind of food money until he got a decent job. Jared looked down at the white carpet and his cheeks heated with the pre-embarrassment of asking his parents for money.

Jensen frowned and sat across from Jared. 

"What's really wrong with you? I'm trained to tell when people are lying. What aren't you telling me?"

"Jen, nothing is going on," Jared said defensively, laughing lamely. "What makes you think that? I have the flu. Doctor even gave me a prescription for it," Jared said, looking at his watch, "which we have to pick up in about an hour. We could probably get some food on the way home, too." Jared was trying so desperately to stay calm and change the subject.

Jensen's eyes narrowed.

"Jared, you're deflecting. Tell me the truth. If you had the flu, you'd be congested," the older male countered, crossing his arms, starting to radiate anger.

Jared pursed his lips, eyebrows drawing together. 

"Why don't you trust me?" Jared asked, grinding his teeth together. "I told you, it's nothing. I don't have to fucking be congested to have the flu, Mr. I-Have-A-PhD-In-The-Medical-Field-So-I-Know-What-Constitutes-As-The-Flu-Every-Time," Jared said sarcastically, rolling his eyes in annoyance. Couldn't Jensen just leave it the hell alone?

"What the fuck is wrong with you? I trust you, but only if you tell me the truth! Fuck, Jared, I'm trying so hard to be fucking supportive, but I can't stand lies. I'm going out, call me when you want to talk about what's _really_ wrong!" Jensen yelled before storming out of their bedroom and grabbing his coat on his way out, fully intending on getting drunk to try and calm down.

Jared was taken aback by the yelling and he sat silent on the bed for a few minutes, tears falling down his heated cheeks. He was so angry and so depressed and he couldn't tell Jensen; it would just hurt the both of them. Jensen would probably be worried about having to take care of a kid and then have to go through the trouble to dump Jared and Jared would just be completely ruined. No one won when it came down to that. 

The younger male got up and packed a small suitcase of his things and headed out to his own car, tears practically blinding his vision. Jared got in and began the drive to his parents’ house. They were about a two day’s drive away and once Jared felt his body tiring, he parked two blocks away from a cheap, random motel and paid in cash for a room. He sobbed for most of the night and didn't dream about Jensen when he finally cried himself to sleep.


	15. Chapter 15

Jensen returned home to an empty house and started panicking. 

"Jay? You here?" he called out, then searched the house. He ran back outside to see Jared's car was gone. "Shit!" He went back inside and started ripping the house apart, trying to find a hint at where he could have gone. He hadn't wanted to hurt Jared like that. He had been ready to say the words Jared had been longing to hear for so long. But because Jensen couldn't fucking trust Jared...

Jensen called Jared's cell, cursing when he was sent straight to voicemail. 

"Jay, come back, please. Please, at least tell me where you went. I wanna talk to you, I promise I'll listen. I'm so sorry,” he babbled into the phone, eyes wet. His boyfriend was sick and gone and the urge to just _protect Jared_ was going haywire.

\---------

The boy slept for quite some time and when he woke up, his stomach was cramping with hunger.

"Alright, alright," Jared murmured to himself, getting up to go pee, change, and find somewhere to eat. 

Jared sat alone at the local Denny's he found and warmed his hands around the hot mug of coffee. He stared at his phone and so desperately wanted to hear the four voicemails from Jensen but he knew he would just cry. Instead, after he finished his three pancakes, hash browns, two sausage links, coffee, and orange juice, he dialed up his father's cellphone.

"Hello?" the gruff voice came from the other end and Jared smiled sadly.

"Hey, Dad, it's me, Jared. Can I come visit?" Jared asked, stirring his second cup of coffee with the red stirring straw.

"In the middle of the semester?" his father questioned incredulously, not so much being happy about a visit. Jared was about to speak when he heard a muffled voice in the background.

"Oh, just give it to me," it said and then in the clear, cheerful voice of his mom, "hi, Jared, baby! I miss you so much, when will you be here?"

Jared explained it would take about another day but he'd get there soon enough and after taking with his mother for a while, he finally hung up, paid the bill, and went on his way to his childhood home once again.

\---------

Jensen tore through the house once more, even the bathroom, trying to find some sort of hint as to where Jared went. He froze when he found the Walgreens bag. He stared down at the plastic bag filled with pink and purple boxes. The words glared up at him, practically screaming to get Jensen's attention. 

"Pregnancy tests,” he whispered in half horror, half shock. He scrambled to the bathrooms trashcan and dumped the trash to the floor, grimacing at the smell but eyes widening at the plastic sticks. He picked all of them up and looked at how each either had a plus sign, a check mark, or two pink lines. 

"He's pregnant. With my baby." Jensen shot up and grabbed his phone again, trying to dial Jared's number. "Jay, please, answer me. I know why you're sick. You don't have to hide from me. Please." He hung up and looked around, stressing beyond belief. His lover was pregnant and gone. He needed to track him.

\---------

Jensen left his family's compound with a folder containing Jared's home address and other things that would help him find his boyfriend. He didn't care what his father would say—probably chastise him about loving Jared—and he got into his car to start for Jared's childhood home without even telling his anyone. 

_Fuck the 65 speed limit, I can fucking pay off whatever cop stops me,_ Jensen growled in thought.

\---------

Jared was sitting on the beige leather couch drinking some green tea his mother had prepared for him. 

"So, tell me more about the father!" his mother exclaimed excitedly. Jared's father was not very supportive of his teenage pregnancy, but was still there to humor his mother and it made Jared feel at least a little bit better.

"His name is Jensen Ac—Johnson. Jensen Johnson. He's a senior at Stanford and he's studying law, like me. Super athletic and good at like... Everything," Jared said, eyes lighting up with a sort of love you only got to see in someone once in a lifetime. It looked as if Jared was describing his most favorite thing in the world and, well, that wasn't necessarily untrue. The light faded slowly as he recalled the situation he was in. "You'd really like him, Mom..." Jared said sadly, looking down at the green and slightly clear liquid in his mug. 

"What's wrong, baby?" she asked, rubbing his forearm. Jared's father scoffed and his wife shot him a scowl. "Hormones?"

"No, we... We just got into a big fight is all," Jared responded quietly before laying his head on his mother's shoulder. His mom was under the impression that Jensen knew about the child so she asked no further questions and just rubbed his back.

\---------

Jensen kept driving, not stopping for anything more than to fill up gas and get water. Jared was the only thing running through his mind, Jared and his baby. _Their_ baby. At that point, he was tempted to call Jared's home phone but was afraid that Jared would flee the house. There was one way though... 

Jensen called the home phone from a blocked number, hoping he would either get Jared or hear him in the background. The last thing he wanted was for this to be a wasted trip.

Jared's head perked up to the sound of the landline and his mother patted his back gently. 

"After I get this, I'll make lunch, okay?" she said, not waiting for an answer before she went and answered the phone. 

Jared heard his mom talking on the other end to god knows who—probably one of her cooking buddies—and he sighed. 

"So... How have you been, Dad?" Jared asked, pad of his thumb stroking along the chipped part of the porcelain mug. 

"Good. And you could be better, right?" his father mumbled, lifting his eyes from the newspaper. His boy looked genuinely sad and it hurt him despite how disappointed he was. "Look, Jare," he started. Jared wasn't called that since he was little and it made warmth blossom throughout him. "I know that he doesn't know. Your mom can be kinda oblivious to lies but I can damn sure tell when someone is lying. You gotta tell him, boy," Jared's father explained, leaning to grab his beer from the coffee table. Jared nodded at his words and sipped his tea, staying silent.

"Hello, ma'am, I was wondering if Jared Winchester is home? If he is, please don't get his attention," Jensen sighed and gripped the steering wheel as he drove. "This is Jensen Johnson. He left after we had a falling out and I'm hoping he's there. I'm about six hours out. I really need to talk to him but would appreciate it if you didn't say anything because I don't want him to run off. I'm not upset, I'm just really worried." He knew that he was out of line asking his boyfriend's mother—whom he had never even met—to lie for him, but it was worth a shot.

Jared's mother looked over at her son, seeing shadow of sadness around him. 

"Alright. I won't say anything. I don't know what you did but you better make my baby feel better," she half whispered into the phone.

"Hey, Ma, I'm gonna go nap for a while, okay? I'm really tired from the drive," Jared said after he saw that his mother hung up. 

"Of course, baby, your bed is all made up already. I'll call you when lunch is ready," she replied, smiling warmly his way. She wouldn’t wake him only because she knew he probably needed the sleep a lot more than food.

Jared's mother always made him feel better. The boy lugged his little suitcase up the stairs and to his childhood room. It was still how it was when he left just about eight months prior, not even any dust on it. He smiled at the thought of his mother cleaning his old bedroom. 

Jared ran his hand along the wooden desk used for late night studying or project sessions and memories flooded his mind, both good and bad. The boy then flopped down onto his bed and curled up under the covers, almost too small now because he had grown so much. 

He dreamed of his parents that afternoon instead of Jensen.

\---------

Jensen arrived within the six hours and nervously rang the doorbell. He knew Jared was there because of the car in the driveway. This... Was not how he wanted to meet Jared's parents.

Jared's mother answered the door and she almost gasped in surprise. 

"Aren't you just gorgeous! I knew Jared had a good taste in men. Come in, Jensen," she said with a grin and pulled Jensen inside and pointed at the stairs. "He's up in his room. Third door on the left. We will talk once you make up with my son." There was a hint of a threat in the woman's tone and Jensen couldn't help the smile that spread on his lips. 

"I know, ma'am. I'm happy to meet you. Jared talks highly of you. This isn't how I wanted to meet, but hopefully we can start over after I grovel," he joked and started up the stairs. The maternal presence made Jensen at ease, something he hadn't felt in years. 

He stopped in front of Jared's door and took a deep breath before knocking.

Jared snorted awake, pillow wet with drool and he wiped at his mouth. How long had he been out? Was lunch finally ready? Jared begrudgingly got up, head foggy, stomach rumbling, and opened the door. The man in front of him snapped him out of his groggy state and his face twisted into nervous fear. 

"H-How? What?" was all Jared could manage. His hand was gripping the shiny metal doorknob tightly, averting his eyes to the ground. Jesus, he should've known Jensen would track him down but the stubborn part of his brain that told him Jensen didn't love him told him he wouldn't.

Jensen shifted on his feet, his nervousness betraying him for once in his life. 

"I know about our baby," he murmured to his sleepy boyfriend. "Can we talk in here?"

Jared's heart stopped and his face paled. He moved to the side robotically and let his boyfriend enter and shut the door behind him, keeping his eyes fixated on the white carpet. 

"I'm sorry..." Jared finally said, his big hand resting flat against his lower stomach.

Jensen cupped Jared's chin and tilted it so Jared was looking up at him.

"Jay, I want it. I want you. I..." He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. "I love you, Jared." He opened his eyes again and looked down at his boyfriend like he was the most precious thing in the world. "And our baby." He rested his warm hand over Jared's, wanting to comfort his lover as much as he could.

Jared's world was completely flipped upside down and he found himself hugging Jensen tight, tears streaming down his face, whispering "I love you" over and over again into the crook of his neck. 

"Don't ever leave me... Please..." Jared whined, arms tightening around the love of his life. "I need you. We need you..."

Jensen held Jared close, petting his hair down lovingly. 

"’M’not gonna leave you, Jay. We're going to be a family, I promise,” he murmured soothingly and kissed the top of Jared’s head. "Pretty sure your mom was going to castrate me if I didn't make you feel better," he joked quietly.

Jared huffed a laugh and shook his head before kissing the other man gently. Another knock came at the door and Jared opened it, smiling at his mom. 

"You don't have to hurt him, mom, we're all good," Jared said immediately and a grin broke out on her face. 

"Well, good, because I made some really nice chili for dinner!" 

Jared's father came up behind his mother, fully intending to scare Jensen shitless for hurting his son, but he stopped when he saw the man holding his only child. His face looked familiar, those green eyes a vague memory of sorts. 

_Jensen Johnson..._ Gerald thought, narrowing his eyes in suspicion.

Jensen smiled charmingly at Jared's mother, nothing stopping him from being a perfect gentleman now.

"That sounds amazing, Mrs. Winchester. Thank you for having me," he spoke, absentmindedly rubbing Jared's stomach, already becoming protective of their unborn child.

Jared leaned up against him and kissed his shoulder. 

"Dad, this is Jensen, my boyfriend," Jared introduced, chest fluttering with warmth and love. 

"Nice to meet you, Jensen," Jared's father said flatly, extending a cautious hand. He knew this kid from somewhere. 

Jensen shook his hand with a smile and a nod. After, they all went down to the dining room to eat. 

\---------

"So, Jensen, tell me, how is being a major in law as a senior? Are you looking at firms?" Jared's mother made light conversation happily. It was obvious she already loved Jensen, but his father on the other hand... He was constantly looking at Jensen like a specimen he was studying.

Jensen nodded and smiled through a bite of the chili. His free hand was currently wrapped in Jared's, thumb stroking the back of his hand. 

"I am. My father’s a lawyer, too, so he wants me to follow in his footsteps." He failed to mention that he was actually going to be in the “family business”, which was a front to cover their family's existence.

Jared's mom made an impressed face and grinned. 

"Wow, so I'm gonna have a lawyer son _and_ and a lawyer son-in-law?" she asked excitedly and crimson rose to the surface of Jared's cheeks.

"Mom," he whined, ducking his head, embarrassed that she would bring up marriage. "We've only been dating for like... Four months," Jared said sheepishly. 

"Four months and you're already pregnant?" Jared's father chimed in and raised his brow. Jared frowned and instinctively moved closer to Jensen. Sensing that his words hurt, which most of the time he didn't even know if they would, his father added on, "as long as you two take great care of it..."

Jared perked up at his dad's attempt to cover up his hurtful words and flashed a warm, forgiving smile his way.

"I, actually, have not gone to the actual gynecologist yet to confirm the drug store tests so, hell, I could just be having some weird stress-related breakdown," Jared said and his father groaned at the mention of the gynecologist. The younger male laughed and pecked Jensen's cheek before getting up to grab his third bowl of chili.

Jensen watched his boyfriend walk away, an affectionate smile on his face. Yes, it had only been four months but... Their relationship was special and Jensen had the funds to take care of a baby, so that was no problem. Sure, they were young, but they wouldn't have to struggle for money. 

"We'll take good care of the baby… _If_ there is a baby, of course,” Jensen chuckled. He really hoped there was. He wanted to see what Jared would look like with a belly swollen with their child. And they had a rule in the mafia; you don't hurt someone who is expecting, so the child would also keep a target off of Jared's back. That, in itself, was a blessing.

"Hmm..." Jared's father hummed, thinking. "So, law? Are you going to join the firm your father is in? When do you think you'll be in the actual career?" he asked, taking slow bites of chili. 

"Jeez, Dad, cool it with the interrogation," Jared joked when he entered the room again. 

Jensen waved Jared down. 

"It's alright, Jay. I'd be questioning my son's boyfriend, too." He turned to Jared's dad, not showing any sort of nervousness. "I think I’ll join it soon. I'm going to be interning under my father once I graduate.”

Jared's dad nodded and stayed silent for the rest of their dinner. 

\---------

Both of the boys were in a food coma after the huge dinner Jared's mother made for them and were told they could stay there for the night. 

Jensen was laying on Jared's double bed, Jared half on top of him; it was definitely not made for two people. 

"So, do you like my parents?" the younger male asked, placing small kisses against the other's neck.

Jensen nodded and rubbed circles into Jared's back. 

"Your mother is sweet. She reminds me of my mom," he admitted quietly. He didn't talk much about his mother. Mary was a huge part of his life in his childhood. Jared's mom made him feel a spark of what Mary made him feel. It was nice. "How long do you want to stay?"

Jared smiled warmly, cuddling tighter to his boyfriend. 

"I'm glad you like her, and we should probably leave tomorrow so I can get back to school," Jared said, eyes fluttering closed. "Mmm... We're gonna have to take separate cars. I'm not gonna be able to give you road head..."

Jensen groaned lowly at the image of Jared giving him road head and he ran his fingers through Jared's hair. 

"You little tease." He pulled Jared up into a lazy kiss, too tired to do anything more. "I'll get you when we get home."

Jared laughed in the kiss, hand snaking down his lower stomach. 

"Or I could do it now, if y'want...?" Jared cooed, fingers massaging right above his pubes, hand dipping below the waistline of the boxers Jensen was wearing.

Jensen hardened under the ministrations, wanting so badly to touch his boyfriend.

"We shouldn't. This is your parent's house,” he murmured into the kiss. Sure, Jared was pregnant so his parents knew they had sex, but there was something off about being there. Jensen felt weirdly on edge and he didn't want his dick to get in the way of his instincts.

Jared whined, grasping the older male's cock, sensually stroking it. 

"It's just a blowjob..." Jared mumbled, "need more practice, anyway..." The boy flung the covers to the side and wiggled downward. He pulled Jensen’s underwear down to release his boyfriend's hard dick, tucking the clothing below his balls. Jared immediately took the man into his mouth, sucking greedily at the head.

Jensen groaned and weaved his fingers into Jared's hair. 

"You are unbelievable," he laughed, the sound breathy and heavy with lust. He looked down at his boyfriend, admiring how tempting Jared looked with only the moonlight illuminating the room. "Look so good with a mouthful of cock,” he purred quietly. He really hoped his parents couldn't hear them.

Jared's own cock hardened at Jensen's words and he relaxed his throat to attempt getting more into his mouth, practically needy for all of the man's pulsing dick. Jared gagged, trying to be quiet about it but he kept half of his cock in his mouth and throat, eyes squeezed shut, trying to simultaneously suck and breathe. The boy pulled up and jerked the throbbing shaft, tongue wiggling in the slit, lapping up the precome that dribbled out.

Jensen rolled his hips, gently fucking into Jared's mouth. 

"Wish we were at home. I'd be on you in a second and make you see stars, baby." He closed his eyes in bliss, wondering how much they could get away with in the house. A naughty grin spread on his face when he got an idea.

Jared moaned softly around his cock, placing tender kisses down the fat shaft before hesitantly licking at one of his balls. In all the times they had done this, Jared never touched Jensen's balls. The younger male took one into his mouth and sucked just like he would with his cock.

Jensen hissed and gripped Jared's hair tighter, but not enough to hurt him. 

"Fuck, Jay, you're so eager for cock, aren't you?" He looked down and locked eyes with Jared. "Bet you'd like me to pound your sweet little ass, wouldn't you? I'd have to gag you so your parents wouldn't hear how sweet you sound when you're stuffed with me." His eyes were practically black with need, knowing Jared had a thing about almost getting caught. It excited him and _that_ excited Jensen.

Jared pulled his head back and looked up at his love, continuing to stroke the man’s shaft. 

"G-God... Jensen..." Jared whispered, cheeks heated but barely visible with the only light being the moon. "What if they catch us?" Jared purred, moving back up to straddle Jensen's lap. 

Jensen sat up and slid his hands on Jared's hips, licking his lips.

"Then they'll know exactly how much you love taking it from me baby." He pulled Jared into a kiss and slid his hands into Jared's pajama bottoms. He couldn't help but wonder what Jared would look like a few months from then, pregnant with Jensen's child. "Let me fuck you, Jay. Gotta feel you," he mumbled against Jared's lips.

Jared whimpered softly, pulling back only to pull off his plaid pants and briefs and immediately attached his lips to Jensen's, grinding his ass back into his cock, the shaft slotting perfectly between his asscheeks. 

"Need you in me, Jen..." he moaned softly.

Jensen groaned and pulled away from Jared's lips to press fingers to his mouth. He watched in fascination as Jared took three fingers at once, the obscene sucking noises making Jensen's cock ache. 

"Tease," he hissed before pulling his hand away and trailing it down to slip two fingers inside Jared instead of just one. He wanted to drive his boyfriend crazy. "Always so tight for me, baby. Gotta prep you, but you gotta be quiet for me," he said quietly as he started thrusting the digits in and out of the wet heat.

Jared gasped, a hand coming up over his mouth to muffle the noise. The way Jensen's fingers rubbed up against his prostate made him squirm on top of the older male, eyes squeezed tight, breaths shaky as he tried to control his noise level. 

"J-Jen," he whined softly against his hand, beginning to bounce back gently against the fingers stretching him.

Jensen hummed lowly and kept thrusting the fingers in, watching Jared's face each time his fingers brushed his boyfriend's prostate. 

"Gotta be quiet, baby." He added another finger and used his other hand to hold Jared in place. "You have no idea how fucking hot you look like this, Jay. Pining for cock when we could get caught any second," Jensen cooed into Jared's ear. He loved driving Jared wild.

And Jared loved being driven wild by Jensen. His filthy mouth only spurred on more strained yips and whines; the boy was so desperately trying to stay quiet but it was difficult when he had three fingers stroking his sweet spot. He took his hand off his mouth for a moment, hiding his face in the older male’s neck, groaning softly, "Just fuck me, Don, please..." 

\---------

Jared's father was walking down the hall to get a drink of water when he heard it. Jared didn't do a great job at keeping quiet considering his father heard the "just fuck me, Don" that came out of his mouth. The man's eyes widened and he knew who that Jensen Johnson really was.

The Ackles family was rivals with the Padalecki family for years and when Mary, the wife of the Don of their mob, had a hit put out on her and was successfully killed, the group backed off but swore vengeance someday. Jared was completely oblivious to his father's mafia affiliation; when his mother became pregnant with him, she and his father swore never to involve him in the life. They would have separate everything. Separate cars, separate houses, separate last names… Completely separate lives. Jared had no idea what he was in the middle of.

His father composed himself and willed away the images coming into his mind and decided to get the entire bottle of whiskey rather than just water so he could forget the fact that his son—his _only_ son—was dating and carrying the child of the heir to the Ackles family mafia.

\---------

"I've got you, baby, gonna make you feel so good." Jensen was quieter than Jared but no less eager as he helped his boyfriend sink down on his dick. "Always so nice and tight for me, Jay. Only for me, right? Let me hear you say it."

A soft, keening noise slipped past the younger male's lips, sharp and quick pants enunciating every time he breathed. 

"Only for you, Jen, o-only for you," Jared moaned, bouncing gently to test the squeakiness of the bed. "Fuck," Jared murmured, hating his old bed. Slowly, almost to the point where Jared was about to internally combust, he rocked his hips back and forth, minimizing the sound almost completely and burying Jensen balls deep into himself.

Jensen grabbed Jared's hips and got up, pinning his boyfriend to the wall next to his bed and grinning. "No springs on the wall. Just gotta be quiet, baby." He held Jared up and started thrusting up into his boyfriend's tight heat, burying his face in Jared's neck to keep his noises in check. The angle Jensen was thrusting gave him the perfect leverage to go deeper into Jared, hitting his sweet spot with each sharp thrust.

Jared linked one arm around his boyfriend’s back and the other went to his own mouth, so desperately trying to stay quiet but the pleasure of it all was burning throughout his body. Little pleasured sobs could be heard coming from behind Jared's hand and his back arched off of the wall as he came, thick ribbons of white cum shooting onto his stomach. Jared felt dizzy with euphoria and his body was trembling as his orgasm shook through him like an earthquake.

Jensen grabbed the hand that was covering Jared's mouth and pried it away, instead pressing his lips against his. Jensen's hand pinned Jared's to the wall, holding it there and weaving their fingers together. He moaned against Jared's lips when he felt Jared tighten around him, throwing Jensen over the edge, his own cum spurting inside the teen. He pulled away and panted into Jared's neck. 

"So much for quiet,” he chuckled breathlessly.

Jared was panting as well, head flopping back against the hard wall with a thunk. 

"Mmm... My mom's a heavy sleeper and I doubt my dad heard us, either, Jared whispered, feeling some of Jensen's cum drip down his thighs. The boy grunted and grabbed his clothing, wrapping it around his waist to go into the bathroom in the hall to clean up. Once he was done, he came back into the room, eyes sleepy, a lazy smile on his face. "Thank you for tonight," Jared blurted. He didn't know why he was saying thank you but it never hurt to say that.

Jensen gave his boyfriend a tired smile. 

"Why are you saying thank you?" He opened his arms for Jared to lay in. Once he had the boy safely tucked into his arms, he buried his face in Jared's neck. "Can't wait to be back home in our big bed,” he mumbled in distaste for the smaller bed.

Jared shrugged and nuzzled in close to the warm man, goosebumps surfacing on his honey-kissed skin. He laughed quietly at that and kissed Jensen's jaw gently, a loud yawn sounding from the younger boy. 

"Love you, Jen," Jared whispered before closing his eyes and falling asleep.

Jensen closed his eyes and pulled Jared as close as possible.

"Love you, too," he murmured before falling asleep.

\---------

The next morning couldn't come soon enough. He wanted to get back home where he knew he could protect Jared. Of course he trusted Jared's parents, but he just really wanted to be alone with the person who was carrying his child. Plus, it looked like Jared's father wanted Jensen dead. He wasn't sure why, but Jared's dad was glaring holes into Jensen's head whenever Jared wasn't paying attention. It was awkward, to say the least.

Jared, too, thought that his father was acting strange. He just sat and stared—well, more like threw knives with his eyes—at Jensen. Jared knew his father wasn't the most pleasant of men, but why would he be acting so rud—

Jared's breath hitched and he choked on the orange juice he was drinking at the table. Bright pink surfaced on Jared's cheeks and neck as he coughed, realizing _why_ his father might be glaring at his boyfriend.

He must have heard them that night. Jared was feeling way too good to be paying attention to any outside noises, so maybe his father had gotten up at some point. 

"Okay, well, I'll make you two boys some lunch for the road. Bet you're just dyin' to get out of here!" Jared's mother said with an awkward smile, going into the kitchen to make them both turkey sandwiches. Jared peeked over at his father, the man still glaring, then over to Jensen who looked just about as uncomfortable as Jared felt.

Jensen cleared his throat and took Jared's hand, trying to give him some sort of comfort even though Jensen was pretty sure Jared's father was about to set him on fire. 

"So, did you sleep well, Sir?" he asked awkwardly. He hated small talk; he preferred to just not talk at all, but this wasn't just any man. This was his boyfriend's father and Jensen couldn't just ignore him.

"I did after I grabbed the bottle of Jack instead of getting water last night," Jared's father replied flatly, never taking his eyes off of Jensen. Jared's cheeks heated up even more and he curled in closer to himself. "And I'm assuming you two slept well," his father added, annoyance in his voice. 

"Dad—”

"Alright, here you boys go!" a cheery voice chimed in as his mom came into the dining room, setting the two bags down. Jared thanked whatever God was watching over them when his mom interrupted because he probably would have spontaneously combusted if he had to deal with one more minute of that discomfort.

Jensen looked away from Jared's dad to smile at his mom. 

"Thank you, Mrs. Winchester. You're a great cook." He tried to ignore the death glares he was getting from Jared's dad. It wasn't Jensen's fault that he heard. Jared was just loud in bed. _Wonderfully_ loud. But how did they expect Jared got pregnant? A stork? Either way, the sooner they were home, the better.

When Jensen and Jared returned to their small apartment near Stanford, they only went to unpack and put away their things. They needed to go talk to the Don.


	16. Chapter 16

"Pregnant?" the Don asked, quirking a brow. 

"Yeah, we think so," Jared said hesitantly, teeth gnawing on his bottom lip. He was terrified that the Don would disapprove. 

After a minute, the Don clapped his hands together once and exclaimed, "That's wonderful!"

Jared was confused by his enthusiasm but loved the response nonetheless. Jensen wrapped a possessive arm around Jared's waist and smiled, actually genuinely smiled, at his father. 

"It was unexpected, but we're excited." He looked down at Jared, happy that his life wasn't all violence for once. He would actually be, sort of normal. But first, he would have to talk to his father privately. "Jay, can you go wait for me in our room? I have to talk to my father,” he said and affectionately rubbed Jared's side.

"Yeah!" Jared responded happily, pecking the older man's lips gently before walking out and shutting the big wooden doors behind him. He wondered what they were going to talk about but to pass the time, he was going to browse the internet for baby things like cribs, changing tables, and clothes that he could bookmark for when they found out for certain he was pregnant.

\---------

Jensen turned to his father and cleared his throat. 

"We need to arrange protection for Jared. I don't want him out in public without a guard," he started sternly. The prospect of a child made Jensen more protective of his lover, as if it was actually possible. Despite the code that didn’t let the mafia target a pregnant member, he still wanted the extra safety for Jared. Just in case there were scumbags out there dumb enough to pick a fight with them.

The Don nodded. 

"I'll arrange for the best to be put on standby for whenever Jared leaves the compound. He's carrying the future Ackles heir after all," he chuckled as he began thinking of the possibilities for his future grandson.

Jensen shook his head. 

"We don't know the gender and still aren’t sure if he even is pregnant. And I don't know if I want the baby to be exposed to this life too early," he admitted, earning a shocked look from his father. Jensen was the twin that was invested in the life 100 percent; it was the reason why he was going to take over after his father stepped down. To hear that Jensen wanted to have a family away from it... Was shocking for the Don. 

"Well, we'll discuss this more later, then," he dismissed his son after congratulating him again. 

Jensen made his way back to his room, smiling at the sight of Jared laying on their bed looking at baby furniture on the laptop. 

"Hey, baby."

"Hola," Jared said over a mouthful of popcorn that he had Gary, one of the guards, get him, and smiled with chipmunk cheeks. After swallowing, he scooted over so Jensen could sit next to him. "We're gonna need another apartment," he said quietly. Jared felt bad about the cost, but they needed a bigger one. "We only have the one bedroom at ours right now and we need two in a couple months just to get ready if I'm pregnsnt," Jared said, absentmindedly rubbing his stomach.

Jensen walked over, smiling at how childish Jared's puffy cheeks were. 

"No problem, Jay. I’ll make a gynecologist appointment as well to make sure you’re carrying before we look," he said and slid into bed next to Jared, laying on his side so he could watch his lover with a fond look on his face. 

Jared nodded, grinning in his direction.

"That sounds great."

\---------

The gynecologist appointment confirmed it: Jared was pregnant. Right after the two got the good news, they began looking for the perfect house and they got lucky; there was a quaint house just four blocks away from Stanford. It was an off-white color with pretty rose bushes in front of the windows. It had two bedrooms, an office, a single bathroom, kitchen, living room, and double-car garage. The grass was neatly mowed and the backyard was fairly large and the grass was the same vibrant green as the front yard. Jared thought it was perfect and anything Jared thought was perfect made it perfect for Jensen. 

The realtor had kept a watchful eye over them as they looked around before excusing himself to make a call. 

"Don, they are here and have four others in a van about three houses down. Seems like they gave extra protection for your son," the realtor explained to Jared's father. The man had connections everywhere and knew about their plans to purchase a new home for their child so he sent an investigator—disguised as a realtor—to tail them. 

"God, they've got him hostage?" the Don asked, a deep frown embedding itself into his tired features. 

"Looks like it," the investigator replied, cocking a hip as he watched the couple discuss plans. 

"Alright, I'll figure something out," Jared's father said before hanging up abruptly. 

\---------

"Did something seem off to you about that realtor? He seemed so… Stalker-ish," Jared laughed, lacing his fingers through his love's that weren't on the wheel of the Impala.

Jensen was admittedly on edge the entire time the realtor was showing them the house. He loved it, but the realtor made him want to find a different place for Jared and their child. The man hovered too much and Jensen wanted to look at other houses so the man wouldn't know where they would live. 

"He made me cautious,” Jensen confessed as he drove them back to their apartment. "I know you like that house, but I think we should look at others. I don't want him to know where we live."

Jared frowned and whined, but he couldn't disagree. There probably was a house out there that they would both love as much. 

"Okay... I guess we can keep looking," Jared agreed, biting his lip. He knew to trust Jensen's instincts. 

Jensen kissed the back of Jared's hand, silently apologizing for ruining Jared's hopes. 

"After we eat, we can look for another one. How does that sound? Y’hungry?" the older male asked.

Jared groaned and nodded his head quickly. He was always hungry and getting hungrier. He was still growing and needed the food and the added body growing inside of him made his appetite skyrocket. 

And his sex drive.

"Hungry for something else, first," Jared mumbled and leaned down to unbutton Jensen's pants. 

\---------

Jensen was very cautious when purchasing a new house for him and his boyfriend; the realtor had made him anxious and he kept a watchful eye on their surroundings.

The house was about two miles from Stanford and it was beautiful. Pastel yellow covered the two-story home, a nice, manicured lawn in front and back, two car garage, an orange tree, three bedrooms, kitchen, living room, dining room, laundry room... Everything. It had everything except for the two rascals who would be joining the earth soon enough.

Jared had gone for bi-monthly gynecologist check-ups and after they took an ultrasound, Jared two months along, they were shocked to find out he was carrying twins. One girl, one boy. It was extremely rare for males to become pregnant and the chances of twins were even slimmer. It was a gift from whatever God was watching over them.

Over the next seven months, they renovated the second largest room into a nursery. Nice, soft white carpet caressed the floor and a gentle blue was used as wall color. One crib with a soft baby blanket and teddy bear already in it was pushed up against one wall and another with the same setup was against the opposite. A changing table was in the middle left, as to not block the nice window that let in fresh rays of sunshine into the room. It was perfect. Absolutely perfect. 

"Jen," Jared called out as he looked through the contents of the fridge. They didn't have barbecue wings with marinara sauce. "Hungry and there's nothing there," Jared huffed, closing the fridge door with a little more force than necessary.

Jensen looked at his pregnant boyfriend and smiled despite his whining. Jared's belly was huge with Jensen's kids and damn if that didn't make him feel good. 

"What do you want, babe?" the older male asked and walked over to his boyfriend, sliding his hands to the bulging belly and rubbing it. "What are these trouble makers making you want now?"

"Barbecue wings _smothered_ with marinara sauce," Jared replied, mouth salivating at the very thought of it. "I bet I wouldn't eat that in a million years if I wasn't pregnant," Jared laughed, placing his hands over his love's. "I love you so much, Jen," he whispered, looking down at their entangled fingers that were resting comfortably atop his huge stomach.

Jensen chuckled and pressed a kiss to Jared's forehead. 

"I love you, too. And the babies." He crouched down to press a kiss to Jared's stomach, grinning up at his boyfriend lovingly. The babies definitely brought out Jensen's playful side. He never thought he'd be so... Paternal. "Anything else you want?" he asked and stood straight again, wrapping his arms around Jared’s waist.

"Let's just go to Native New Yorker, okay?"

\---------

Jared ordered three plates of the honey-barbecue wings with two side cups of marinara sauce. The boy was practically drooling when everything came and dug in immediately, leaving no time for Jensen to pick one up.

Jensen wasn't too hungry, and as a matter of fact, he kind of enjoyed watching Jared eat. It was amusing and God, it was hard for him not to laugh. 

"Breathe, baby, don't want you to choke while you eat,” he teased.

Jared shot him a look and smiled, barbecue sauce at the corner of his mouth, pink tongue swiping at it eagerly. 

"You're not gonna eat?" Jared asked, continuing to stuff his face with the chicken. Damn, it was good. Jared made a list of all his cravings that he wanted to try after he was done with pregnancy; he might actually like one of them.

"Yeah, baby, was just distracted. You're very... Amusing to watch," he admitted before grabbing a chicken wing. One certainly wouldn't hurt, right? He just hoped Jared wouldn't attack him for it. 

A woman screamed when a team of police officers came storming in, guns out and loaded as they scanned the room. 

Jared was about to slap his love's hand when his head snapped to the left, wondering what the commotion was.

 _Oh, God..._ Jared thought.

When they spotted Jensen and Jared, they rushed over, one cop pushing Jensen's head to the table and the other putting cuffs on him. 

"You're under arrest, asshole!” the cop growled. One grabbed him by the collar and pulled him out of the booth, hitting him with a night stick in the back of the head to render him unconscious. Jensen stopped struggling and went limp, his eyes shutting.

Jared started crying hysterically, screaming "don't hurt him, don't hurt him" and "he hasn't done anything, what the fuck are you doing?". Jared was pulled back by another officer and held as he watched as Jensen was taken away. Jared's chest was heaving and he struggled against the tight grip of the officer. 

“You didn’t even read him his rights or tell him what he’s under arrest for, fuck-heads! Charges can be dropped for that!” Jared yelled, still trying to wiggle out of the man’s grasp. Angry tears slipped down his face and got free of the cop, running out only to see the police cruiser driving away with his boyfriend’s unconscious body in it.


	17. Chapter 17

When he got back home, he ran to get his cell phone he had left there and dialed Dean's number, fumbling a few times because of the tears blurring his vision and the shakiness of his hands.

"D-Dean? Dean, p-please, someth-ing hap-happened, pol-i-i-ce, Jen... J-Jen-s-en," he sobbed into the phone, crumpling down into a heap against the fridge.

Dean was immediately on alert when Jared started crying, it was even worse when he mentioned cops and his big brother.

"I'll be right there, Jared. I'll pick you up and we'll go to the precinct together,” he said quickly before hanging up and ran out of his home and into his car, speeding off towards Jared and Jensen's home.

They wouldn't find Jensen at the precinct though; he was being held in a warehouse owned by the Winchester's—technically the Padalecki's. When Jensen came to, he was tied to a chair and he could barely make out his surroundings. 

"Jay?" he groaned out in question.

"No, my son isn't here, Jensen," a firm voice stated, hatred stinging in every word. "He's free from you and your bastard family now." A punch landed directly onto Jensen's cheek, the impact hard. "You won't hold my son hostage any longer, _Ackles_ ," Jared's father spit out.  
\---------

Jared was still hysterical after they arrived at the compound. Jensen wasn't at the precinct. 

"Wh-Where?" was all Jared could manage to ask, clinging to Jensen's brother for support. He felt like he was truly dying. 

Dean rubbed Jared's back and looked at his father for help. Alan turned to his son and the distressed teen and his eyes narrowed. 

"I need to know everything about what happened," he demanded to Jared. "Cillio, track Jensen's phone. We need a location," he ordered his right hand man.

 

\---------

Jensen coughed and spit out blood, looking up at his attacker with narrowed eyes. 

"What the hell are you talking about? I love him!" His eyes went wide when he realized what Jared's dad has said. "You know who I am?" He was actually kind of regretful. This is the dad of the father of Jensen's kids, he didn't want to disappoint. "I can explain, I swear." 

"Explain? Explain how you kidnapped my son from college and knocked him up just to get back at us for your mother's death?!" Jared's father screamed, punching Jensen directly in the stomach. "My kid should have never been a part of this life, you fucker! I made sure of that!" Another punch to the middle of Jensen's face. The Don trembled with anger, fists bloody. 

\---------

Jared tried to calm down. Alan would know what to do, surely. He took deep breaths, thinking of Jensen's face and his soothing voice whenever he had a panic attack. 

"H-He... We were a-at a restaurant a-and all of a sudden... A b-bunch of cops c-came in and arrested J-Jen and they knocked h-him out and t-took him," Jared stuttered, trying to focus on Jensen in his mind.

The Don closed his eyes and rested his chin on his fists.

"They didn't tell him why, read him his rights?" he asked. Jared shook his head no. Maybe the other mob still had operatives and wanted to get back at the Ackles family for killing everyone else at their compound? It sounded dirty to the Don. Someone was behind this. But his son hadn't done anything family related since the twins were announced. He wanted to be _normal_. Or try to be.

\---------

Jensen coughed harder, blood falling from the side of his mouth and his left nostril. 

"My mother? What the fuck does my mother have to do with this?" He grimaced at the pain in his stomach. He'd been tortured before but that didn't mean it didn't hurt. "What are you talking about? Who are you?" He looked up at the asshole and tried to think of what he was talking about. The more that Jensen thought of it, he remembered seeing Mr. Winchester somewhere. Before he met Jared. But where?

Jared's father laughed in his face and grabbed hold of Jensen's swelling jaw. 

"Don't play dumb with me, Ackles. You're just trying to get revenge after we killed your mom, aren't you? Gonna take my only son away and into this life to get back at me?" he growled, spitting directly onto Jensen's face before moving away. "I cannot _wait_ to watch you suffer."

Jensen glared up at the man. 

“The Padalecki's are responsible!" he yelled, the sound angrily bouncing off of the old walls. His eyes widened when he realized where he had seen the man before. The night his mother was killed, he tried running out of the house to catch the killers. He was only 11, but he wanted to kill all of them for taking his mom away. The only thing he saw before the black cars sped away was a man who tipped his hat at Jensen, almost out of respect. Mr. Padalecki. The same man who was holding him captive. That meant... "Jared is a Padalecki?" He was horrified in so many ways. How could he not know? 

 

\---------

"Sir, we got him down," Cillio said once he entered the room again with a small GPS. "Got 'im in a warehouse off’a I-70," he explained. 

Jared got up but Dean put an assuring hand on his shoulder. "Jared, we can handle this." 

"No, I want to kill the bastard who's hurting Jensen," Jared growled through gritted teeth before pushing past Dean and Cillio to grab the handgun from the dresser in his and Jensen's old room.

The Don nodded and sent out multiple cars to go get his son. Dean, Jared, and Cillio were all in one car, Dean driving while Cillio was posted at the window waiting to shoot. They were going to get Jensen, even if there was bloodshed.

\---------

"He's my only son. Don't play coy, Jensen," the man sneered, back handing him with full force. "I took something of yours and now you're taking something of mine. Thought our families agreed to leave each other alone? You're not a man of your word, are you, boy?" 

"Stop!" Jared screamed, hands shaking as he held the pistol in his hands, aimed at his father. The soldiers posted around the room did nothing but tense; Jared was the son of the Don and they could do nothing to hurt him. "Jensen hasn't done anything, dad!" Jared yelled, tears freely flowing. 

"He has brainwashed you, Jared," his father said sadly, pulling out his own gun. "You need to see how bad he is." Jared's father cocked the gun and sighed. "It's for your own good," he said quietly but loud enough for Jared to hear. 

Everything slowed down for Jared. The way Jensen tensed at the gun being slowly aimed at his head was slowed down, the fingers clutching the pistol curled around it in practically suspended motion. It's like the world was giving him a chance.

Breathe in.

Hold.

Shoot.

Out.

Before Jared knew it, everything was moving at top speed and footsteps were heard running in behind him.

Jared insisted on going in alone; no one would hurt a pregnant man or woman in the mafia. It was just a general rule.

Jared's dad lay in a heap on the floor and the soldiers surrounding the premises had their hands on their guns, but did nothing. Jared was the new Don now. 

His arm was frozen in place and his face paled.

He had killed his own father.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To those who read the chapter where Jensen met Jared's parents--I edited it to say Winchester instead of Padalecki. I didn't realize why my partner and I had put Winchester until I was editing the next chapter, so I apologize for the confusion!


	18. Chapter 18

Jensen was bleeding but he couldn't take his eyes off of Jared. 

"Jay, come here," he tried to soothe. He knew Jared would be freaked out and he needed to be calmed immediately. Stress wasn't good for the babies and Jared was far beyond stressed.

Jensen became horrified as blood started flowing down Jared's legs. 

"Get him to a hospital!" he screamed at whoever would listen. Dean rushed in and carried a struggling Jared to the car while Cillio started untying Jensen. As soon as he was free, Jensen ran to the car that Jared was in, ignoring the soldiers from both the Padalecki family and his own family. All he could focus on was his bleeding boyfriend. 

"I'm here, baby. I'm here," he rasped out. His face and body were still achy, but he didn't care. All that mattered was Jared and the babies.

Jared didn't even realize what was happening until he was being carried by Jensen's twin to the black SUV and Jensen's voice was there. Jared's eyebrows furrowed but then pain shot through him like electricity, a loud cry smothering the inside of the car. 

"What's happening?!" Jared yelled, trying to look down between his legs. Blood. Blood everywhere. The kids. Fuck. 

\---------

Jared was hysterical when they brought him into the hospital and he was admitted right away to the operating room and hooked up to machines as doctors surrounded him. 

"Where's Jensen?" he whimpered as an oxygen mask was pulled over his face.

"He has to wait outside," the nurse said patiently and calmly as she set up a tarp so Jared couldn't see anything going on below his pecs. He felt quite a few pricks then a minute later some tugging and he couldn't stop crying. 

"What's happening?" he whined sadly, turning to face the nurse at his side. She didn't say anything as to not worry him more although it did the opposite.

A wailing but very small cry sounded in the room and Jared's heart almost stopped. Did he give birth? The baby was whisked away and shortly after he saw another small body being carried out of the room as well. No second cry. Jared felt tears streaming down his cheeks and was trying to deny every bad possibility although it was hard to come up with a good excuse.

Jensen was allowed to see Jared after the teen was cleaned up and taken to a normal room. The older male was patched up and had a busted nose, but he was fine compared to his lover. Jensen's eyes had bags and it looked like he didn't have any sleep even though not even a day had gone by. He lost one of his kids and almost lost Jared. He felt like utter shit.

He walked up to Jared's bed and cupped his boyfriend's cheek, trying to keep a frown from his face. Jared was a Padalecki. The rival mob. The mob that killed his mother. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. 

_Jared didn't know. It wasn't him_ , he thought and looked down at his boyfriend again. 

"How are you feeling?" God he even sounded like shit.

Jared didn't speak and just stared straight ahead. 

"The girl didn't make it," he stated flatly, whole body numb to emotion as he mentally curled in on himself. "They said the boy might not make it either. He's a month and three weeks premature." Males carried their pregnancies longer than females, the reason unknown despite the hundreds of years of research on the subject. Jared barely felt the hand on his cheek, hazel eyes glossed over with unshed tears. "How are you," he asked but it wasn't really a question.

Jensen stroked Jared's cheek and tried to keep his tears back. 

"The boy will make it, I promise. He's a fighter like his daddy." He was talking about Jared, of course. Jared was so strong. "I'm fine, Jay. You saved my life." He cupped Jared's chin to tilt the head up, trying to lock eyes with his boyfriend. "Jared, look at me, please," he begged.

Jared's tear-filled eyes flicked to Jensen's and he couldn't hold back his sobs any longer. His bottom lip quivered as he began crying hysterically, throwing himself into Jensen's arms even though they were only a short distance apart. 

A doctor came into the room and cleared his throat and Jared pulled back slowly, still sobbing.

"What?" he asked angrily, wiping at his eyes with the backs of his hands.

"We have your child in a stable condition, but we need to observe him for another day or so before we can be 100 percent about his state. I just thought I should let you know that everything is okay for now," the doctor said quietly with a smile, an actual smile. Not one of those fake "I'm only smiling because it’s my job" smiles but an actual smile. Jared nodded and sniffled, head laying back to rest against the pillow. He knew the doctor meant what he said, but he couldn't stop worrying.

Jensen rubbed his boyfriend's hair and held him close. He wanted to make Jared feel safe because he never planned on leaving him again no matter what. 

"We're going to be okay, Jared. I promise. He's going to be fine," he soothed quietly. "We have to name him, though," he added, kissing the top of Jared's head.

Jared nodded slowly, scooting painfully over so Jensen could lay next to him in the small bed. 

"Jensen Jr.," Jared said with a small laugh, still sniffling but the tears were dry on his pale cheeks. "Dylan?" the boy suggested, looking to the side at his boyfriend.

Jensen nodded and stroked down the back of Jared's sweat-slick hair. 

"Dylan is perfect," he said. "You did good, Jay. So, so good," he murmured reassuringly. Jensen had never felt like he related to the expression “walking on eggshells”, but damn, he was afraid he'd say the wrong thing and Jared would start crying again.

Jared just rested his head on Jensen's shoulder, the image of killing his own father replaying over and over in his mind. 

"I killed my dad for you," he whispered numbly, followed by a sigh. "Is it possible to leave this life forever?" Jared asked quietly, not sure if he wanted to know the answer or not.

Jensen kissed his boyfriend's hair and closed his eyes, trying to think of a way to make it possible. 

"We'd have to leave California," he said quietly and pulled away to cup Jared's face, trying to look at his lover. “I'll try to make it possible," he sighed and wiped a drying tear. "But there is another possibility."

Jared frowned, deep lines embedding into his forehead as his brows pulled together. 

"We'll have to transfer schools and move everything," Jared murmured sadly. "What's the other possibility?"

Jensen pet Jared's hair back. 

"We can combine the families. You're technically the Don now. We can combine the families—despite the anger that it would cause—and we'd be so big that the others wouldn't dare mess with us. There's safety in numbers and all that," he explained. "We'd be able to stay here, safe. We could keep the baby out of it, I could take care of all the dirty details of you want."

Jared shook his head. 

"I don't want any more death... We can combine the families but... Jen... I don't want us to be a part of it at all. I mean... We can keep in touch but I don't want us to be in it..." Jared said, voice quivering. He's had enough death in his eighteen, almost nineteen years. Nineteen. "Jen, what day is it today?"

Jensen kissed his forehead and kept quiet about the decision on the family. 

"It's February 7th,” he said and started rubbing Jared's neck. "Why?"

Jared snorted out a humorless laugh and shook his head. 

"My birthday was yesterday. Happy fuckin' birthday to me, my one kid is dead and so is my father," Jared said venomously, anger not turned towards anyone but himself. "A-At least Dylan will most likely be okay..." Jared said after a minute.

Jensen instantly deflated. How could he forget Jared's birthday? 

"I can have Dean take over the new family," he announced all of a sudden. "And me, you, and Dylan can go on a vacation once you're out of the hospital. To celebrate your birthday and Dylan's life." He hoped that appealed to Jared, he was out of ideas that would be good for his boyfriend.

Jared nodded and smiled sadly up at his boyfriend. 

"Okay... Sounds good. Where do you want to go for vacation?" Jared asked, shifting and groaning at the pain in his stomach; they used staples instead of stitches to close up the incision from the C-section.

Jensen was instantly up and helping Jared ease back onto the bed. 

"Relax. We can plan when you're better, okay? I promise." He kissed Jared's forehead gently. "Happy birthday, Jay."

Jared huffed, yawning. 

"I think... I think I'm gonna sleep for a bit. Please stay?" Jared asked, looking up at his love with bright, hazel eyes. When he knew Jensen wasn't going anywhere, he rested his head back against the pillow and closed his weary eyes. "I love you, Jen," Jared murmured before falling asleep.


	19. Chapter 19

Jensen held Jared in his arms as they sat on the porch swing of their new house. Jared held a healthy baby Dylan in his arms and Jensen couldn't help the smile on his face as he looked at his boys. Sure, the road to their happiness was bumpy and he almost died a few times, but he was genuinely happy with his little family. Dean was put in charge of the merged family, Alan overseeing him until he thought Dean could handle things alone. Jensen kissed his boyfriend's temple and watched Dylan fall asleep in Jared's arms. 

"We should put him to bed," the older male suggested.

Jared nodded, silent so he wouldn't wake their beautiful baby boy. He had a pretty bald head but from what the two could tell, he had Jensen's nose and the slant of Jared's eyes. 

The room was smaller compared to the nursery at the old house. They no longer needed the extra space. Dylan was a miracle, though, and even though the pain of losing his daughter was still fresh, Jared was happy he was finally in the arms of someone who cared for him with a child whom he loved straight down to his healing soul.

He put Dylan down into the soft crib, the small infant making sleepy noises as he adjusted, falling straight back asleep.

That night, they just sat on the porch and watched the sun dip down below the horizon, not talking for hours, Jensen's arm wrapped tight around his boyfriend.

After some time, Jared finally spoke up.

"I told my mom yesterday about what really happened that day. She was upset to say the least but... She understood. She told me she would've killed for my father as well."

Jensen rubbed his arm comfortingly along his boyfriend's arm, thankful that his future mother-in-law understood the situation. Well, hopefully future mother-in-law. The box burned a hole in Jensen's pocket as he contemplated if right then was a good time to ask. He was pretty sure Jared would say yes, but he didn't want Jared to think he was just asking as an apology for what happened. Jensen wanted Jared to have his last name, a sign in Jensen's mind that Jared would never leave. 

"She really loved him,” Jensen said and cleared his throat awkwardly, keeping his stare out towards the sky, looking rather nervous. "Jared, you know I love you, right? And that's not some word I throw around for just anyone." He looked down at his boyfriend for confirmation.

Jared nodded and smiled warmly up at Jensen, lacing their fingers together. 

"Yeah, I love you, too. Why are you saying this?" Jared asked with a small laugh, free hand rising to run through Jensen's hair.

Jensen took Jared's hand and kissed the back of it. 

"Because I wanted to ask you something important. And I was planning on it for a few weeks now, before Dylan was born." He slid out of his seat and kneeled in front of Jared, still holding his boyfriend's hand. "Jared Padalecki... Okay I'm really not good at this." He pulled out the box and opened it to reveal a ring. "Marry me?" He grinned sheepishly at his tearing boyfriend, internally scolding himself because that was _so_ fucking smooth. Not.

Jared let out a small whimper and could only manage a nod, heart racing at paces he didn't think were humanly possible. 

"Y-Yes," he choked out. All he could focus on was Jensen. His boyfr—fiancé. He could have had a $50,000 ring in the small box or nothing at all and Jared wouldn’t have cared either way because it was _Jensen_. "Yes, I'll marry you," Jared said, happy tears dripping down his cheeks.

Jensen slid the ring on Jared's finger and started to wipe his cheeks. 

"Hey, baby, no tears. Please," he laughed lightly and sat back on the porch swing. "Gotta calm down, don't want to pass out on your _fiancé_ now do you?" He pulled Jared into his lap and wiped away all of the tears that kept coming.

Jared laughed, sniffling. 

"They aren't bad tears, Jen," he replied, cuddling close to the other male. "I am so in love with you, Jensen. It's not just love. I feel like there's a difference between love and in love. In love seems deeper, y'know?" Jared began tracing hearts all over the older male’s chest. "I'm so happy. You make me so fucking happy. I never thought I would be ever again..."

Jensen chuckled and laid his head over Jared's. 

"I feel the same way, Jay." And he really did. He took pride in making his lover so happy. "I want to keep making you happy for a long time,” Jensen said and fiddled with the ring on Jared's finger.

"I think you will,” Jared replied, tilting Jensen’s chin up with one finger to kiss him gently. A soft cry came from the house and Jared pulled back immediately. 

“I’m comin’ Dylan, don’t you worry,” the teen called out with a laugh, knowing the baby couldn’t understand, but said it anyway. With one foot in the house, he turned to look at Jensen with a fond smile.

“I love you, Jensen.”

“I love you, too, Jared.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This took forever to finish and I truly appreciate all of you that have stayed until the end. Thank you to all of you and to my beautiful partner. I hope you all enjoyed the story and will hopefully enjoy the next story I will put up soon.


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